Eleanor & Grey(96)

I meant that down to the deepest parts of my soul.

I’d give up my world for my daughters.

I’d surrender it all if it meant their hearts would be okay.





54





Eleanor





Later that night, Greyson came knocking at the front door of the guesthouse. I waited there until I knew Karla was all right—there was no way I’d be able to drive home without knowing. As I opened the door, I wrapped my arms tightly around my body. “Hey, is she okay?”

“Yes and no,” he commented, looking down to the ground. “Claire is over there with her right now, and we’re looking up some treatment centers for her mental health. She, um—” he swallowed hard “—she had a bottle of pills with her, Ellie. She didn’t take any of them, but I think she thought about it. It turns out some bullies at school told her to kill herself.”

“Oh, my gosh, Grey…” I couldn’t wrap my head around how people could be so cruel. Where did humans learn to be so dark? How could those words ever leave anyone’s lips?

“Everything she’s been through on top of seeing you and me together, I think that was her breaking point. I can’t have her struggle anymore, Ellie, which is why I’m asking if you could…”

“It’s fine,” I told him, cutting him off. “I know it’s not good for her health for me to be here, so I’ll find a new place to work, Grey.”

“I just want you to know all this was more than a job, Ellie…you were more than the nanny.”

“I know, but it’s okay. Karla matters most. When I lost my mom, there was one big thing that kept me going each day, and I’m sure it will save Karla from drowning, too.”

“And what’s that?”

“You. It was you, Greyson. And who knows? Maybe this is our thing. Maybe we come together when we need each other most, and then we move on again.”

“Yeah, maybe. There were moments when I thought we could be us again, though. But like, more than us. A new kind of us where falling together would be our norm.”

I smiled. “Yeah, me, too.” Dream a little dream with me.

“But the truth is, I’m not okay because I can’t be okay if my daughters aren’t. Honestly, I don’t know when we’ll be okay, but I’m working on it, Ellie. I’m working on bringing my family back together. And then, I want to find you again.”

My body began to shake as he said those words. “Grey…”

He shook his head and looked up toward me. “My world is better with you in it. I just need you to know that. I just can’t be what you deserve right now, but I promise to my core that I will work on becoming the man worthy enough to love you. Because at the end of the day, you’re the one I want to fall asleep beside. You’re the one I want to wake up to come morning. Now I know that it’s not fair of me to ask you to wait, but—”

“I’m here, Greyson,” I cut in. “I’m here, waiting. It’s been over fifteen years since I’ve been dreaming of you,” I joked. “What’s a little more time?”

“So is this the point where we say goodbye again?” he asked. “It feels like we’re always saying goodbye after we say hello.”

“Not goodbye, just until we meet again. Until then, can we keep in touch? With email?”

“Yes, of course. Or you can call me, or anything. I’m always here for you, Ellie, even when I can’t physically be there.”

He moved in closer and enveloped his arms around me. I fell into him the same way I always did, effortlessly. Our foreheads touched, and we took our inhales together. In that moment, our timing was right. He was there, and I was there, and we were one.

I shut my eyes and tried to tame my heartbeats. We were so close that I swore I felt his lips graze across mine.

He softly said, “I want to kiss you, but I can’t. Not now. Not yet. But I just need you to know, when I kiss you next…” his breaths danced against my skin as his words spilled into my soul, “It will be forever.”





After watching everything that unraveled with Greyson and his family, I knew I had to make a trip of my own. As Greyson worked hard to fix his unit, I felt as if it was finally time for me to fix mine.

I packed my suitcase to make a trip down to Florida to see my father. I hadn’t even told him I was coming, because if I did I was certain he’d make up excuses to not see me.

But before going to the airport, I made an important stop first.

It took me a while to find the tombstone, but when I did I took a few deep breaths before speaking. I held the bouquet of roses in my hands as I stood still.

“Hi, Nicole. I know you don’t know me, but my name is Eleanor, and I am in love with your family. Every part of them is loved by me, but I won’t be able to watch over them for a while. So, I wanted to stop by here to just ask for a little help. Can you keep looking over them? I’m worried about Karla, but I know if her mother is watching over her, then she will be okay, because that’s what mothers do—they make everything okay. So, please keep an eye on her heart, because I know it’s such an important heart to have in this world. This world needs Karla, so if you could wrap your light around her, I’d be so thankful.