Eleanor & Grey(103)

“Oh, it’s…um, well, it’s…” His thoughts were jumbled, and I didn’t blame him. My thoughts were in the same state. “It’s sixteen birthday cards and sixteen Christmas gifts, for all the years I missed. I, um…” He scratched his head and then pounded his fist against his mouth. “I missed out on so much, and I know you aren’t going to forgive me for that, but I just wanted you to know that, I…I’m so sorry, Ellie.”

“You abandoned me,” I whispered. “You abandoned me for years, and you think some cards and gifts are going to make up for that? I didn’t want your gifts, Dad. I wanted you.”

“I know, I know, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I don’t know if I will ever get it, but I want to work at it. I want to do my best to earn you back into my life. Ellie, after your mother passed away, something inside me snapped. It completely broke, and I didn’t want to figure out how to put it back together. Seeing you…your smile, your eyes… Every part of your mother lives in you, and I wasn’t strong enough to deal with that. I wasn’t strong enough, and I screwed up, and I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t change all these years, but I am sorry for being a shit father. You deserve more than me.”

“Yes,” I agreed, “I do.”

He lowered his head, stung by my words.

“But, regardless of that fact, you’re still the only thing I’ve ever wanted.” When he looked up, tears were streaming down his cheeks, which in turn, made me cry.

“I’m a mess, Ellie.”

“I know you are. I’ve been a mess, too, and I’m not going to lie; I’m still really mad at you. I’m still hurting, and it’s going to take a long time for me to get to a place where I feel as if I can forgive you completely.”

“Yes. I understand.”

“But if you’re willing to try…” I offered.

His eyes lit up. “Yes, I am. I am more than willing. Anything it takes.”

“If we do this, we do it together,” I told him. “If we fall, we fall together. If we break, we shatter as one, but we don’t leave each other anymore, okay Dad? We fight for this. We fight for our family. We fight for us.”

“All for one,” he whispered.

“And one for all,” I finished as I wrapped my arms around him.

The healing process with my father was going to take time. It was going to be more than one conversation, more than ten conversations. I knew it might take years, knew we might never return to being the father and daughter we’d once been, but having something was better than nothing.

At the end of the day, family was worth fighting for, scars and all.





When I went back to meet up with Greyson at the car, Dad came with me. He was going to stay with us a few days before heading back to Florida, just so he and I could get a conversation started toward the healing of our relationship.

That night as I climbed into bed with Greyson, I held him closer than I’d ever held him before. “You did this for me?” I asked, speaking about bringing my father back into my life.

“Of course, I did, Ellie. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make sure you were happy.”

“Grey?”

“Yes?”

“Would it be all right if I kept you forever? I know I said that before, but like, really this time? Can I keep you?”

“Yes, Ellie.” He chuckled lightly, and kissed my forehead as both of our eyes began to shut. “I’m yours.”





60





Eleanor





It had been almost a year since Greyson and I decided to let our love story grow, and it was a beautiful story to partake in. Our words intermixed as if they were made for one another.

On Monday nights we ate spaghetti, on Tuesdays we watched Mr. Rogers, and then we formed new traditions for our future.

Life became easier. Even though my father went back to Florida, he checked in more often. We talked more, and when he said he would visit, he actually came. He was putting forth the effort, and I was more than thankful for that.

When months passed, and he showed up for Christmas, I was amazed.

“Can we open gifts?!” Lorelai shouted darting into the living room on Christmas day.

Claire, Shay, and I had just finished preparing brunch together while the guys all sat in front of the television, watching sports. Landon even stopped by for Christmas brunch, stating that he was simply in the neighborhood again. I knew how much it meant to Greyson for his best friend to be there, and if there was anything Landon was excellent at, it was showing up. He always showed up whenever Greyson needed him.

Even though he wasn’t great for my cousin, he was the best kind of best friend.

“After we eat and make our wish ornaments,” Claire told Lorelai, who groaned about not being able to rip open her presents yet.

Shay walked past me in the kitchen after peeking her head into the living room to look at the guys for the fifteenth hundred time. Or, mainly to look at Landon.

“You know what I hate most in this world?” she asked me.

“What’s that?”

“Landon Harrison. I mean, can you believe that? When I showed up today he had the nerve to say, ‘Merry Christmas,’ to me. Can you believe that asshole?”