Elastic Hearts (Hearts #3)(48)

“I guess in a sense it becomes the new normal, which is insane to admit. Once this whole thing is over I can go back to living life, though.”

“You mean go back to partying without worrying about them trailing behind you?”

“Goals,” I said with a sigh. I paused to think on that for a beat, though, and it didn’t accurately portray what I wanted out of life. “As lame as it probably sounds, I kind of just want to be able to pump gas without being followed around and asked about Gabe. I’m assuming once it’s over they won’t feel the need to mention every woman he’s seen out with.”

Victor didn’t take his eyes off the road, but nodded. “Does it bother you? Hearing about him and other women?”

“I think what bothers me is their need to throw it out there just to get a good picture of whatever face I make. The knowledge of the women . . . doesn’t bother me anymore.”

Once I saw him leave the club with the blonde, and survived, I knew that ship had sailed, and even though it had hurt a little, I realized rather quickly I was completely fine without him. I’d been without him for so long anyway.

“Do you read the tabloids?”

“Of course I do.”

I was just as guilty as everybody else in Hollywood who didn’t read the tabloids. I’d rather find out what they were saying about me firsthand. Victor didn’t respond to that, instead he hit the steering wheel with his palm when we hit a wall of traffic.

“Fuck you, Los Angeles. Fuck you,” he said. I couldn’t help but laugh, and when he shot me a glare, I laughed harder.

“We’re on time,” I said.

He sighed. “I guess we are. Sorry. Court days make me crazy.”

“Oh. Court days make you crazy. What’s your excuse every other day of the week?” I asked, smiling. I could tell he was having a difficult time keeping a serious look on his face. He looked at me, his eyes dead set on mine.

“You.”

My stomach flipped. “Me? How do you figure that?”

“You make me crazy every other day of the week.”

“How?” I asked, hyper aware of the way my heart was pounding in my ears.

His hand reached out to grab mine. He put it on the shift and covered it with his as he moved it to another gear.

“Well, you’re occupying my mind every day of the week, so my deduction is that you’re the reason I’m completely crazy.”

I swallowed. “Do all of your clients occupy your mind as much as I do?”

When we stopped at the next red light and he set the gear in neutral, he looked at me, and from the way his expression intensified, I was sure he was going to kiss me. Ravish me. I shivered slightly, and put my hand out to adjust the air vent so it wasn’t hitting me directly. Victor smirked knowingly.

“Fuck, no,” he said. “They don’t, and that terrifies me.”

I reared back slightly, taken aback by the sincerity in his tone. My heart was pounding so loudly now, I wasn’t sure I could even say what I wanted to say.

“Why does it terrify you? Because of your job?” I asked in a whisper. He ran his thumb along the seams of my fingers.

“Not because of my job.”

Our gazes were locked on each other. I wanted to ask so many things.

Because you like me more than you care to admit?

But I didn’t want to ruin the moment. If he said yes to either of those things, I would be thrilled, but I still had to be mindful of his promotion. I wouldn’t get in the way of him getting it. Yes, I wanted him. Yes, I thought sleeping with him again would douse this flame, but I knew we had to be careful. And the reality was that I liked him. A lot. He started driving again and I sat back in my seat. How messed up was it that I was feeling these things for another man? For the man who was helping me divorce my husband? If I was being honest with myself, I didn’t really care how messed up it was. As far as I was concerned I hadn’t been married for a long time, because even though we were on paper, the things that happened in that relationship over the past two years were things no respectful relationship should have to endure. I didn’t blame Gabe on the matter, either. It was both of us. He changed. I grew. Apart.

When we reached the parking lot of the courthouse, he looked over at me.

“You ready?”

I gave him a small smile. “I think so.”

He turned slightly in his seat with a serious look on his face. “No. You are. There is no think. There’s only know. You’re a hellion. Fuck what they say. Fuck what they want. This is about what you want, and whatever you want, we’ll get.”

His words filled me with a sense of serenity. I’d told Gabe I didn’t need a knight in shining armor, and I didn’t. I didn’t need Gabe. I didn’t need Victor, but it felt good to have somebody like him on my team. Fighting for me. Fighting with me. I told him as much, and caught a glimpse of a more tender Victor, one I’d seen more often than not lately. He looked at me for a long beat, with those beautiful eyes and just said one word. One drawn out, gravelly, deep voiced word that threatened to make my toes curl in my heels.

“Nicole.”

He gave my hand one tight squeeze before switching off the ignition. I took one last long breath before we got out of the car and headed toward the building.