Eighteen (18)(28)

“I know.” I shoot him an annoyed look and walk out the back door.

When I get home, Jason is looking out the front window like he’s been waiting for me.

“Hey,” I say.

“Fucking finally. I told you to be here by six so I can work.”

“You never said six.” I stop by little Olivia’s swing and bend down, but she’s fast asleep. “You asked me to help watch her in the evenings. Fine. But I have night school every day. So I’ll come home when I’m done. And if you think I’m giving up my weekends—”

“Giving up?” he sneers. “She’s your f*cking niece.”

“Right. But I’m eighteen, Jason. I’m too young to be her mother. You’re her father and I’m sorry you got mixed up with my sister—”

“Watch your f*cking mouth.” He cuts me off. “You’re not going to talk about Jill like that now that she’s dead.”

“Talk about her?” I scoff. “Who the f*ck do you think you are? You think you knew her? Well, you didn’t. She took an engagement ring from the last guy too, you know. And the one before that and the one before that. So don’t go thinking you’re special—”

He’s across the apartment and slapping my face before I can even finish my sentence. “Fuck you,” he says, grabbing my hair and pulling me towards him. “Fuck you.”

“You’re gonna regret that,” I say, pushing him hard in the chest. He lets go of my hair and turns away. “You’re gonna f*cking regret that.”

“No tears this time? No running off to slut around with Phil’s piece-of-shit cousin?”

“You know what, you can find another babysitter. I don’t need to stay here and if you think I’m going to let you raise her with that temper, you’re wrong.”

“What are you going to do about it?” He turns back, eyes blazing. “You just said yourself, I’m her father. You’re no one to her. I can walk out of here with her tonight and you’ll never see her again.”

“Did you ever ask yourself,” I say, my voice low and filled with venom, “how many men Jill was sleeping with while she was with you?”

“Liar,” he says. “Liar.” But he knows it’s not a lie. I can see it in his eyes.

“You’re not even on the birth certificate because you two weren’t married when Olivia was born.”

“You little f*cking liar.”

“So maybe I’m the only family Olivia has. And maybe you’re the one who’s nobody?”

He turns around, grabs his keys and his jacket, and slams the door behind him as he leaves.

I palm my cheek as I check on Olivia. It stings, but it’s nothing like the last blow. I really do need to get out of here. And telling Jason that shit about Jill was not the best way to handle things. What if he starts believing that? What if he never comes home and I am the only one left in this world who cares about Olivia? How the f*ck would I take care of an infant?

No, it was definitely not a good idea to plant that thought in his head.

A knock at the slider makes me jump.

Mateo is staring back at me from the other side of the glass. Fuck, I hope he didn’t just see that.

“Hey,” I say, opening the door. He’s holding a brown bag in his hands, looking strangely at me. “What?”

“Dinner,” he says. “Did I just hear yelling?”

“Yeah, Jason’s a dick. He was mad because apparently he thought I was supposed to be here at six so he can work his night job.”

Mateo stares at me for a second, but then he looks over his shoulder at the alley, like he’s distracted. “You said you wanted me to feed you, so… I gotta go.”

And then he walks through the gate and disappears in the alley. Fucker. What the hell am I doing with that guy anyway? In the heat of the moment it makes sense. I’m horny and I just want someone to pay attention to me. But I don’t like feeling this way afterward.

There is a part of me that wants to run back to Ohio and pretend the last year never happened, but there’s nowhere to go. I have no family there and my friends aren’t in any position to take care of me.

And Olivia. I look down at her sleeping body all snuggled up in blankets in the swing. Jason is an *, but he seems to love her. I should’ve shut up about Jill.

I take a bag of food inside and put it on the counter. There’s a note stapled to it, making it look like a delivery receipt. That makes me smile. I tug the piece of paper free from the staple and open it up.

Shannon,

Remind me to tell you why I have take-out containers and know how to make lasagna from scratch.

And stay the f*ck away from Danny Alexander. I mean it.

M

Fucker.

But I smile. Even though he creeps me out, he does it in all the right ways. And even though he’s a teacher and he’s f*cking me on the side, he’s still putting me first by making me work. And even though he wants me to do that work naked and my reward for success is sex, I can’t help but trust him.

I’ll probably regret that soon. I usually do.





Chapter Seventeen




“Hey, Daydreams!” Sunday calls from across Lincoln Avenue as I wait at the light to cross. He’s wearing a Distillers t-shirt and some faded jeans with holes in all the right places. I can see a patch of bare skin on one of his thighs.