Eighteen (18)(18)
Mateo stares into my eyes for a few moments of silence. “You’re going to stay just friends, understand?”
“What if I don’t want to be just friends with him?”
“Then I won’t f*ck you again.”
“Who says I want you to f*ck me again?”
The hand on my breast slides down my stomach, then slips inside my shorts. His fingers find my * wet. “You do.”
Chapter Eleven
God, his answer just makes me wetter.
“But before we do it again, I need a yes. I know what we’re doing is wrong, Shannon.”
I gulp air. “Then why are you here? Why are you doing this?”
“Tell me to go and I will.”
“You’re not listening. That’s not what I’m asking. I just want to know why.”
He takes his hand out of my shorts and backs up one step.
“You’ve been watching me?”
He just stares at me, like he’s having some deep internal battle.
“OK,” I say, grabbing the handle on the slider and starting to push it closed. But he covers my hand and stops it.
“I live across the street.”
“What?”
He inhales deeply and throws up his hands. “I live across the street. Across Broadway.” He nods his head towards the alley. “I’ve seen you in Bill’s. You eat there all the time.”
“Oh.” It’s far less creepy than I’d been imagining. Sort of anticlimactic, actually. “Well, I’ve had my share of stalkers, thank you. It’s not a turn-on for me.”
He smiles, but looks away, like he’s trying to hide it.
“What?”
“How many stalkers?” he says, giving me a sideways glance.
“One serious one.”
“Define serious,” he says, his smile fading.
“I had to go to court and get a restraining order.”
“When was this?”
“When I was thirteen.”
“Thirteen? Jesus Christ.”
I shrug. “I started early. Got a little wild. Paid the price and learned my lesson.”
“He scared you?”
I take a deep breath and nod. “Very much.”
“Where is he now?”
“Thousands of miles away. It’s not a big deal, but I like to be in control. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”
“Control of what?”
“Life,” I sneer.
“You can’t control life, Shannon.”
“I can control whether or not I get f*cked in a school.”
“So you wanted me to stop?”
“That’s not what I’m saying—”
“Then what are you saying? Because I’m confused.”
“Me too.”
“Do you want to date that guy who picked you up?”
“What if I do?”
“I don’t ever take second place. So let me know now and I’ll leave.”
I weigh my options for a moment. I believe him. I really do think he’ll leave. And I think tomorrow he’ll either quit the teacher gig with some excuse, or just be professional from now on. So this is my chance to set a limit.
“Shannon? Do you want to date him?”
I shake my head. “He’s just a friend right now. But I like him. He’s nice.”
“I’m not nice.”
“Is that a statement or a question?”
“Both.”
“Well, why the f*ck would I give up a nice guy for you?”
“Because you like the thought of me more.”
“You sure do presume a lot for not knowing anything about me.”
“You just said you were wild. You let me f*ck you in the classroom. You came. You’re wet. I know enough.”
“Yesterday you made some snide remark about not knowing what’s good for me. I’m failing to see anything about you that’s good for me.”
“You came,” he repeats. “That was good for you.”
“You want to f*ck me and I can get in trouble for that. So how is that good for me?”
“I’m the one taking the risk, Shannon. You’re eighteen, you’re allowed to sleep with whoever you want. I’m the teacher so I’m the one who will lose my job.”
“So why do this?”
“I don’t give a f*ck about the job. I give a f*ck about you. Tell me what you want. Do you want me to quit if we continue? Because I’ll find you another teacher.”
“But why me?” I just don’t get it.
“Why not you? Why are you so insecure? I like the way you look. I like the way you bite your lip when you’re choosing food from Bill’s. I like that angsty expression on your face all the time. The one that says I’ve got problems, leave me the f*ck alone. I like this.” And then he leans in and kisses me, his hands in my hair before I even realize what’s happening.
But I kiss him back. Again.
He moans into my mouth. “I like your hair. I like your eyes. I like your legs, and your *, and your tits. I wanted to f*ck you the minute I saw you. And I was gonna tell Bowman no until I watched you about to lose your shit in the office yesterday morning. So I said yes. And now I want you to say yes too.”