Echo (Black Lotus #2)(23)
“I needed to see you, to talk to you, and this was the only way I could get you to listen without you losing your shit on me.”
Keeping his voice low, his tone is harsh when he says, “What do you want to say to me, huh? I’m sorry? It’s not what you think? Forgive me? Well, f*ck you because there isn’t anything I want to hear coming out of your mouth.”
“If you’ll just let me say my piece, I’ll go. If that’s what you want, I’ll leave—disappear from your life, and you’ll never have to think of me again.”
Declan grabs my elbow and pulls me closer to him. His face is so close to mine, I can feel the heat of his blood pulsing through his veins. “You think it’s that easy? You think I can just shut you out and never think about you again—the woman who deceived me to the point that I . . . ” he pauses for a second to make sure no one is close enough to hear his next words, “ . . . took a man’s life? I’ll never be able to get rid of you because you’re now the demon than lives inside me.”
Words slaughter deeply.
The urge to drop to my knees and beg at his feet to forgive me surges through my body. I did this to him. It was me, and the weight of that responsibility is making it near impossible to stay above ground. It’s sinking me down to a hell I’m terrified to face.
“Tell me what I can do,” I plead. “Because I’d do anything for you, to take any piece of this away from you.”
“It’s done with. It happened and nothing will take that away, but you . . . continuing to pop up . . . you’re just twisting the knife you’ve put in my back.”
“Let me attempt to take it out then.”
“That was a lovely speech,” an older lady compliments as she walks past us.
Declan quickly thanks her and then turns back to me. “You need to leave.”
“No.”
“God, you’re stubborn.”
“Declan, no. I want to explain.”
“Not here.”
“Then where?”
“Tomorrow,” he suggests. “You want to talk privately? Fine, I’ll give you that. Come to my house, say whatever it is you need to say, and then leave.”
“Okay,” I respond with a nod.
“I mean it. You leave Scotland. Go back home.”
I continue to nod in agreement with his words, and confirm, “Tomorrow then?”
His jaw clenches. “Yes. And now I want you to excuse yourself from this party.”
And I do. Getting what I wanted, I smile, but it doesn’t feel entirely victorious for obvious reasons. Retrieving my pashmina and clutch, I say my goodbye to Lachlan and thank him for accompanying me as my escort. He offers to drive me back to the hotel, but I politely decline and accept his flirtatious kiss to my hand before he opens the car door for me.
“It was a pleasure, Elizabeth. I hope to see you around,” he tells me, and I return the gesture, saying, “I hope so too.”
“WHAT WERE YOU doing with that woman?” I ask when Lachlan approaches me at the bar. “How do you know her?”
“I don’t. She was alone, and I offered to escort her. Why?”
Taking a hard shot of my Scotch, I bite against the burn. “I want you to follow her.”
“Who is she?”
“Just follow her. I want to know what she’s spending her days doing.”
His chuckle agitates me as he responds, “So now I’m a PI, McKinnon?”
“You want to work for someone else?” I snap, setting my old-fashioned down on the bar with too much force, and repeat harshly? “Follow her.”
I DON’T WANT to look like I’m trying too hard, so I go for simplicity, wearing a modest cashmere sweater, slacks, and a pair of flats. I keep my makeup light with a touch of sheer gloss on my lips. My hand nervously shakes as I dab on a little concealer under my eyes to cover the evidence of my lack of sleep last night.
When I left the party, I checked out of the hotel, so it was late when I arrived back here at Isla’s after the two-hour drive. My mind was racing all night, anxious about seeing Declan today and wondering exactly what I’m going to say. A part of me questions what it is I’m even doing here in Scotland. Confusion is my state of mind, so I don’t even attempt to reason my actions, because it’s a doomed feat. All I do know is that I’m lost, and Declan is the only thing that’s familiar and known.
Slipping on my knee-length, ivory pea coat, I make my way down to my car. I find myself speeding to get to Declan, but I’m worried about what will greet me when I arrive. With white knuckles, I take a few slow, deep breaths as I round the bend in the road and approach the gate. For the first time, I roll up to the intercom box and press the button. There’s no answer, but the gates open anyway.
The car moves slowly up the winding road that weaves through tall, snow-covered trees. When I reach the top, I pull in front of what was once promised to be my safe haven of escape. This should’ve been my home with Declan; instead, he’s my lost love, and I, his enemy.
Gravel crunches beneath my feet when I step out of the car. I stand, looking up at the three-story estate that’s secluded up here. Majestic and alone at the top of this hill, the only sound is the wind that howls between the trees and the swirling of snow that blows from the bare branches. I look over to the grand fountain and imagine the sound of its trickling water in the summertime.