Drunk on Love(97)

“I didn’t think I had to talk to you about it,” he said. “I thought you’d be excited for me!”

Why wasn’t she excited for him? Why was she reacting this way?

“You didn’t think you had to talk to me about it?” Oh, great, now she looked pissed. “Oh, I see. Just one question: Did you tell Avery about this?”

Shit. He couldn’t lie to her about that, not after the conversation they’d just had. And by that hurt, angry look on her face, he could tell she already knew the answer.

“Fine, yes, I told Avery, but that’s not a big deal! There’s nothing going on between me and Avery, I’m with you!”

She looked down and didn’t say anything for a moment.

“I know there’s nothing going on between you and Avery,” she said quietly. “But are you really with me? If you’ve spent the whole time you’ve been up here pretending you’re with someone else, and you make this huge decision without even wanting to tell me about it, that doesn’t sound to me like you’re exactly with me. What else haven’t you told me?”

Why was she making such a big deal about this?

“That’s not fair. You know the Avery thing had nothing to do with you.”

She shrugged.

“Sure, okay, then let’s talk about what does have to do with me. Let’s see: you told me on the way back from the auction that you’d never go back to that job; you blew me off when I asked why your mom thought you and Avery were together; oh, and you asked me when we were on the beach if you could come back to Noble after your mom was better.”

She was going to bring that up? They both knew he wasn’t serious then.

“You know I didn’t really mean that, I was just saying it! I meant I missed being around you all day! You knew that.”

She nodded.

“Sure, of course, that makes sense. What else did you ‘just say’ to me that you didn’t really mean?”

Oh, come the fuck on.

“Are you going to twist everything I’m saying here? You’re overreacting again, just like you did yesterday about the party. Me not telling you about this doesn’t mean anything about how I feel about you! The interview isn’t until Thursday. I’m telling you today, aren’t I?”

She shook her head.

“If you could spend the past two months pretending to your mom that you were with Avery, including when you were with me, and you could make a big decision, like going back to your old job, the one that you quit because they made you feel terrible, without even wanting to talk to me about it, that makes it clear to me what a small part of your life I am.” Her voice caught. “I have . . . You have been a part of my whole life. I thought—”

He couldn’t let her get away with that.

“You and I both know that’s not true,” he said. “How was I a part of your whole life? You didn’t tell your brother we were together. You didn’t tell anyone at the winery! And the winery sure as hell is your whole life. I asked you about it, and you gave me some bullshit about how I used to work for you and the party and everything. And then yesterday you flinched away from me as soon as you heard Taylor’s voice, like you were ashamed of me.”

She glared at him.

“We talked about that. You were my employee—I didn’t want them to think our relationship overlapped your employment at Noble.”

She’d given him this excuse too many times now.

“I haven’t worked for you for a month, Margot, come on.”

He hadn’t realized until now how upset he’d been about that. How much he’d hated hiding their relationship at the party, how much he’d wanted her to tell Elliot about them.

“You knew it was complicated between me and Elliot,” she said. “There were a lot of things that made me want to wait to tell him about you.”

He nodded.

“Sure, just like there were a lot of things that made it complicated for me to tell my mom about you. You keep bringing up Avery: Avery has been my best friend for years! I’m not going to apologize for talking to her about something important going on with me.”

And Avery had congratulated him for the interview, wished him luck. Unlike Margot.

“I’m not asking you to apologize for that!” she said. “I’m asking why I’m not important enough for you to want to talk to me about that. But I guess I don’t have to ask, there’s my answer.” She looked away from him. “I don’t even understand why you’re thinking about going back to that job in the first place. I thought you never wanted to go back there. I can’t believe it’s more important to you than me.”

“Oh my God, Margot, it’s not a choice! Why are you being so irrational about this? I don’t try to make you choose between the winery and me, do I?”

She shook her head.

“That’s different.”

He laughed.

“Why, because I’d always lose?”

She jumped out of bed, grabbed a robe from her closet, and wrapped it around herself.

“You told me this, between us, was something. My life includes you; you are a part of my life. I thought I was a part of yours. I guess I was wrong.”

He shook his head.

“You can’t spare one moment, one second, to be excited for me about this? To say ‘Congratulations, Luke, how exciting’? Getting this interview is a big deal. I worked my ass off, and I thought quitting would put me behind; instead, I’m getting offers like this out of the blue. But you’re not even happy for me.”