Drunk on Love(50)

He tensed up. She could feel it.

“What do you mean?”

Oh. He thought she was being sarcastic.

“I mean good for you. Really. I’m glad you did that. I’ve worked in toxic places like that and stayed far too long. Good for you for getting out when you did.”

He was quiet for a while. She let the silence grow.

“Thank you,” he said finally. “I’m sure everyone else thinks that I couldn’t hack it anymore, that I wasn’t strong enough to keep going. The only other person I’ve told—really told, I mean—about how and why I quit was Avery. Avery Jensen, you know her; she’s one of my best friends. She also told me I did the right thing. It’s not that I don’t trust her, I do, but Avery never takes any bullshit from anyone, so of course she would think it was a good decision.”

“Avery was right,” Margot said.

Luke laughed.

“I won’t tell her you said that. She’d lord it over me forever.” His smile faded. “Anyway, I haven’t even told my mom that I quit. I gave her some bullshit about taking a sabbatical and told her that’s why I moved back up here. In an attempt to get her off my back, I found a new job at a winery.” He smiled sideways at her.

“Ah, everything makes sense now,” she said.

They both smiled for a moment.

His smile faded, and he looked straight ahead.

“I haven’t even told Avery this, but sometimes I wonder if I should have just kept my head down, worked harder, had more grit or whatever. Or that the real reason I quit was I just wasn’t good enough. I guess . . . I guess I haven’t told my mom because I know I’d be disappointing her. She’s just so proud of me—you saw her today, she brags about me to everyone like that. And if she knew I failed, like this . . . I just don’t want to let her down.”

“You didn’t fail, Luke,” Margot said. Did he want to hear that from her? She wasn’t sure, but she had to say it.

He just shrugged.

“I guess. Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, though.” She started to say something else, but he kept talking. “My old mentor there texted me this morning—linked me to this big article about all of their brand-new diversity efforts, said to call him if I wanted to chat about any of that. Said he missed me around there.”

She raised her eyebrows at him.

“Does this mean we’re going to lose you soon?” She cleared her throat. “I mean, since I’m just your neighbor Margot, are you going to go back?”

He laughed.

“Back there? Oh God no, never. I think I burned too many bridges. Plus, I can’t imagine working with that same set of assholes again. I’m sure I’ll go back to tech someday, though. I actually liked the work I did, once upon a time, at least. I’m glad someone there seems to still like me, it’ll mean a good reference and some good connections, but I can’t imagine going back there. Luckily, I saved up enough while working there that I don’t have to worry about my next steps for a while.” He grinned at her, but it felt like he had to make an effort to do it. “There—that’s a good story from your neighbor Luke, who gave you a ride home.”

He clearly didn’t want to talk about that anymore, okay.

“So is it my turn now?” she asked.

He shook his head.

“No. I mean, yes, of course, if you want, but when I said that I’ll-go-first thing, I didn’t mean you had to go next. I didn’t mean to say all of that, it was just, being around my mom today made me feel . . . Anyway, sorry about that.”

Margot waved that away.

“No apology necessary. I’m just your neighbor Margot, remember? Neighbors talk about stuff like this.” She paused. “Family stuff is hard sometimes,” she said, in a different, quieter voice.

“Yeah,” he said. “It is.”



* * *





LUKE GLANCED OVER AT Margot, who was looking at him with such an open, caring expression that he had to look away. He really hadn’t meant to say all of that. Especially not the stuff about how he was disappointed in himself, how sometimes he felt like he’d really left because he couldn’t hack it, that he wasn’t good enough. Great, now Margot would think he wasn’t good enough—that was the last thing he wanted. It was far too easy to talk to her, that was the problem.

“Speaking of family,” she said. “You’re probably wondering why I was threatening fratricide earlier.”

He laughed, glad that she’d broken into his thoughts.

“I mean I was, but really, you don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”

“I know,” she said. “But I can’t just throw murder out there on the table and then never finish the story. That sounds like the beginning to every murder mystery I’ve ever read, and I don’t want to be cast as the prime suspect.” She hesitated. “But . . . if this is weird for you, for me to talk about my brother, since . . .”

“I can’t imagine how it would be weird,” he cut in. “I don’t even know your brother. I’m just your neighbor Luke.”

She laughed at that.

“Oh, right. I forgot.”

He could tell she needed someone to listen to her. Maybe even that she wanted him to listen to her?