Drunk on Love(104)

Avery hadn’t tried to get him to talk about everything, for which he’d been very grateful. But when he’d left, she’d given him a big hug and then said, “Think about what I said, okay?”

She was obviously some sort of witch, because he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what she’d said since then.

My confidence was shot, I felt like a different person, I didn’t feel like me.

That’s exactly how he’d felt at that job.

But, like he’d said, it wasn’t the same.

Midway through the morning, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

    CRAIG

Expect good news in the next few days



He should be excited about this. Just like he’d told Margot, it was a level up, more money, and aside from either of those things, it was proof to anyone out there that he could hack it, that he was good enough. Better than good enough.

    LUKE

Great! Thanks for the update.



But everything Avery had said kept running through his mind. She had been miserable with that guy, and he’d known it. He hadn’t understood why she’d been with him, why she’d stayed with him so long.

But this was different. Wasn’t it?

Margot had said something like that about his job, too, but he’d been so angry and hurt that he hadn’t really paid attention.

He walked out into the reception area a few minutes later with a question for Beth, and saw his mom walk through the door.

“Don’t worry, I’m only here for a little while. Pete came home for lunch, and I convinced him to drop me off while he’s at a job nearby.” She grinned at him. “But the doctor said that I can drive soon. Well, we also have to get a new car, but that should happen next week.”

She looked so happy. He gave her a hug.

“That’s great, Mom.”

She hugged him back, and then grinned as she looked around the lobby.

“I’ve missed this place.”

He laughed.

“You’ve managed to stop by so often, I’m surprised you had time to miss it.” He had to do this now, didn’t he? He’d told Margot that he’d tell his mom right away, but then after their fight on Sunday, it hadn’t felt as necessary. But he’d avoided this conversation long enough. “Come back into your office and sit down, I’ll go make you some tea.”

When he came back, he set the tea in front of her. Then he closed the door.

“Um, Mom—I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

She looked at him as he sat down.

“Is something wrong?”

He let out a breath.

“Not . . . exactly. Well, yes, but not in the way that you mean. I didn’t really tell you the truth about why I moved back up here. I’m not on sabbatical. I quit that job.” She opened her mouth to say something, but he held up a hand. He had to get this all over with. “And I’m not with Avery. I didn’t move up here for her, at least, not in the way that you thought. She had that breakup, she knew I’d just quit my job and was stressed about everything, so she said I should move somewhere else for a while, and I moved up here, partly to keep her company, but we aren’t together. We were never together. You assumed that, and then I let you believe it because I . . .” He swallowed. “I didn’t want to tell you how difficult everything was at that job. And I didn’t want to tell you I quit. I thought you’d be upset, ashamed of me. I guess I was ashamed of myself. So when you brought up Avery, like you always do, I let you think it was true. And then . . . I kept letting you think it.”

His mom looked shocked, which is about what he’d expected.

“Why, Luke?” she said. “Why would you think I would be ashamed of you? Why would you ever think that?”

He’d thought she’d be upset about the job, or the Avery news, but not that.

“You were so proud of that job,” he said. “You told everyone about it. You were so proud of me, for having that job.”

She shook her head.

“No. I mean yes, sure, I was proud of you for having that job, but I’ve been proud of you every day of your life. I’m proud of you because you’re my son, I’m proud of you because you’re a good, kind man, who treats people well. I’m so sorry that I ever made you think that you had to do anything special, have any job, or title, or degree, to make me proud. I tell everyone about you because I love you, that’s all. Do you know how many people I’ve bragged to that my son is helping me at the inn right now? I think half of Napa Valley knows about it.”

He laughed, because that sounded so much like her. And yeah, he’d known she’d told everyone he was working at the inn right now, but he’d thought . . . He didn’t even know what he had been thinking.

Was that true, what she’d said?

Of course it was true. He knew it as soon as she said it. He knew that despite how much his mom had always pushed him in school and in everything else, she’d always been as proud of him as when she’d cheered for him, louder than any of the other moms, at the second-grade spelling bee, when his name was called for the first time. He’d gone out in the second round, but she’d given him a huge hug and taken him out for ice cream afterward.

“I shouldn’t have lied to you. I think I just felt so bad about myself, and it made me think you’d feel the same way. I wasn’t even going to tell you that I’d quit, because they want me to come back, for a bigger title, more money; I interviewed down there yesterday. But I knew I had to tell you about the Avery thing, and I thought it was better to be honest about everything.”