Drive(81)

“What does this one mean?”

“Leave a suitcase outside your door on New Year’s Eve? It means I’ll be a world traveler one day.”

“Better get it outside,” he said with an amused voice.

“’Night,” I said as I hustled down the hall to my bedroom.

“Night, weirdo,” he said affectionately, the rumble of his laugh cutting off as I hung up. I was a weirdo, and I loved that he knew that about me and embraced it. I was even more of a weirdo that night, bundled up like an old maid with the red muumuu nightgown my mother had gotten me for Christmas and the green and red stripped socks with a jingle bell attached to Santa’s hat. Paige and I managed a few civil sentences to make it through the holiday, though the grudge was still there on both parts. I spent my first Thanksgiving with Lexi and Ben. I burnt the turkey, Lexi glued the mashed potatoes with the beaters, and Ben choked it down without a negative word. Because he loved Lexi the same way Nate loved me.

Nate spent the holidays with his parents and all but begged me to join him, but I told him it was Lexi and my first year as independents, though we’d done a shit job of it.

The band wasn’t leaving for California until the first of the year, due to scheduling issues. At least that’s what Ben had told Lexi, so she’d practically moved in with him. When Lexi wasn’t at Ben’s, it meant they were arguing, and I stepped up to do whatever I needed to keep her calm. She was fighting to keep her insecurities on the back burner, and though I’d caught a protest or two from Nate, when she needed me, I was there. Ben was exhausted and it showed when he stood on my doorstep in the late hours of the morning, his eyes connecting with hers in a plea until she flew into his arms with a ready apology on her lips.

They were terrified, but Ben remained determined to prove to her that they weren’t changing, no matter what happened with the band.

Time would tell.

Neither of us believed him, but I kept my opinion out of it. Lexi had enough riding against her. Sony wasn’t just any label. Things were about to change drastically for everyone.

Between juggling the shows, writing for the paper, my boyfriend, and my best friend, I felt like I was living two lives. We never spoke a word about Reid, and I never asked. It was as if he didn’t exist. And I had to admit, it was a relief because I’d allowed myself to be happy in my new relationship. And I was happy. As happy as a girl could be alone on New Year’s Eve with the promise of a fresh year filled with Nate Butler. He was everything: kind, considerate, attentive, beautiful, and thrived in the boyfriend department. He’d spent the last two months exhausting himself at the paper and then showering me with whatever affection he could muster, and it was always more than enough.

I rolled my suitcase down the hall, opened the door, and was met with a gust of freezing air. I set it outside and was just about to close the door when I smelled smoke.

And where there is smoke . . .

It was like an electric jolt.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply before I lifted them to meet the watchful eyes of Reid Crowne. He’d been standing there for hours judging by the amount of cigarette butts that lay scattered around my porch.

He crushed his cigarette under his boot as I let my eyes drift up. Shock resonated as I saw he looked . . . healthier. He’d gained a few pounds. His hair stuck out underneath a gray beanie that matched his long johns shirt, and it looked sexy as hell on him. His jaw had filled out, too, and was covered in thick stubble but trimmed neatly on all sides. I was wordless as the air spiked with familiar tension. My mouth failed me. Words failed me. In his eyes, I saw curiosity and relief. And then his lips upturned.

No.

After a silent minute, his eyes flicked to the suitcase I set outside the door.

“Going somewhere?”

I took a step out in the freezing cold. My socks drenched in the chill the minute they hit the pavement.

“What are you doing here?”

He smirked and I died inside.

No. Please. No. Don’t smirk. Don’t smile. Don’t look at me!

“That’s a mighty sexy nightie you have on there, Grenade. Will the rest of the retirement home be joining you tonight?”

“Reid, cut the shit. What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in? It’s fucking freezing out here.” He blew hot air into his fists.

“No,” I said and shut the door behind me, blocking my apartment.

“Okay,” he said and shoved his hands into his jeans.

I just stared at him in my crazy muumuu, my hair piled on top of my head in a messy bun.

“I just wanted to talk a minute.”

“I thought we said it all.” My voice had bite. I was bitter. I had Nate. I had no reason to be bitter.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he said, his voice low.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m a caged animal. Like you’re afraid of me,” he said, taking a step forward. I winced.

“Damn it,” he snapped. “It’s me, Stella. I’m not here to hurt you.”

The tension built in my chest as I tried to tamp down my emotion. It was bitterness, resentment, and a lot of anger. Anger I hadn’t realized I was still holding on to.

“Stella,” he said softly. “I’ve wanted to call you so many times.

“But you didn’t,” I said with a sharp nod. “You look great. I’m glad you’re doing okay. Congratulations. Happy New Year, Reid.” I slammed the door behind me, and a second later, it hit my ass with a thud and pushed me forward.