Dreamland(45)

Beverly found the strip mall, then spotted the thrift store, located at one end. It was called Second Chances, and Beverly pushed her way inside. She kept her head bowed when she walked past the cashier, a woman in her sixties with dull gray hair that reminded Beverly of the walls of her kitchen.

Most of the items in the children’s clothing section were for babies and toddlers, but she finally found the sizes she needed. The items, though used, were clean, without tears or stains, and just as she’d hoped, the cost was minimal. In the end she picked out four T-shirts, two pairs of shorts, jeans, and a pair of sneakers. She thought that she should have brought her backpack with her, since it would have made carrying everything home easier, but she had to content herself with a plastic bag.

She started the long walk back to the house. The sun was high and bright, and the day was sticky hot. Dizzy because she hadn’t eaten, she had to stop every so often to catch her breath. She wished she had a car, but she knew that Gary had placed a tracker on the one she used to drive. She’d seen it beneath the rear bumper months before she’d left for good, the little red light flashing on and off, taunting her to go ahead and remove it and see what good it would do.

The wig and hat made her head hot and itchy, and she felt her makeup melting. When she reached home, she disrobed and hopped in the shower to cool off, then dressed again. She walked outside and took a seat on the stump, just in time. The bus appeared less than a minute later, and she couldn’t help feeling a bit of pride that she’d made it. As she had the day before, she exchanged a friendly wave with the driver, thinking maybe, just maybe, things were going to turn out all right.





“I bought you some more clothes today,” she said, “so you won’t have to keep wearing the same things.”

They were at the table, and Tommie nodded as he ate the sandwich she’d made him. She’d also poured him a glass of milk, amazed at how much such a small human being could eat and drink.

“As you can probably tell, I also started painting the kitchen,” she added.

Tommie looked up, as though he hadn’t noticed the change. “Why did you paint it gray?”

“That’s the primer,” she said. “I’m going to paint the walls yellow.”

“Oh,” Tommie said. He didn’t seem all that interested, but she figured that most kids Tommie’s age didn’t care about wall paint.

“Do you want to catch tadpoles again after you finish?”

He nodded again, chewing.

“I also checked the roof,” she said. “It’s too steep for anyone to walk around on, but there’s a branch that squirrels could have used, or the branch might have scratched the shingles. That’s probably what you heard, or, like I said, you might have been dreaming.”

“I was awake, Mom.”

She smiled, knowing he always said the same thing after every nightmare. “Do you want more milk?”

When he shook his head, she saw the resemblance to Gary in the way his hair fell over his eyes, and she wondered when Tommie would ask about him.

“When is Dad coming?”

She knew him so well it sometimes seemed as though she was psychic.

“He’s still working,” she said. “Do you remember when I told you that? When we left the house?”

“I remember,” he said, stuffing the last of his food into his cheeks, but she knew it didn’t fully answer his question. Beverly brought his plate to the sink and rinsed it, then did the same with his glass when he finished his milk. In the cupboards—not wet but still sticky, so she was careful when opening them—she found an old mason jar with a lid on one of the upper shelves. She held it out to show him.

“How about we go catch some tadpoles?”





They wandered down to the creek, but this time, Beverly didn’t join Tommie in the water. Instead, after rolling up his pants and taking his shoes and socks, she took a seat in the low weeds near the bank. Tommie held the mason jar as he slowly waded in the gentle current.

“Before you catch any, make sure there’s creek water in the jar.”

Tommie scooped water, filling it to the brim.

“Let a little bit of the water out. If it’s too full, the tadpoles won’t fit.”

He did what she suggested, then went back to tadpole hunting. He tried and failed to catch the first one but then caught two.

“How many can I put in?”

She thought about it. “I’m not sure, but they’re kind of small, so maybe seven or eight? If you can catch that many, I mean.”

“I can catch that many,” he answered, and she felt a warm rush at his confidence. Tommie was her mission, her world, and had been since the day he was born. She tried to imagine what he’d look like when he grew older. He’d be handsome, she was certain about that, but other details were beyond her.

“How was school? Did you do anything fun today?”

“We had art today. I got to draw pictures.”

“What did you draw?”

“They told us to draw our house.”

She wondered which one he’d drawn, their old one or their new one, the one where they lived on their own and were finally safe.

“Is it in your backpack?”

He nodded, his head bowed, uninterested. He bent lower, catching another tadpole.