Dreamland(21)

Even better, the owner worked with a regular handyman for any repairs, so all she had to do was call if there were problems. Utilities were included, and the house came furnished, albeit with furniture that was anything but new. The couch was worn but comfortable; there was a newer-model television and an ancient DVD player in a cabinet, end tables, and lamps with shades that didn’t quite match. There were beds and chests of drawers in the bedrooms and towels in the bathrooms. In the small pantry off the kitchen, there was a broom and mop, various cleaners—most half used—and other assorted stuff. There were lightbulbs and two extension cords, a toilet-bowl brush and plunger, a flyswatter, a box containing nails and screws and a small hammer. There was a wrench, as well, and two types of screwdrivers. Next to the tools, there was half a box of AA batteries and two nine-volts. A dehumidifier. Rags and sandpaper and a medium-sized stepladder. There were sheets and pillowcases in the linen closet upstairs, though they would need to be washed. There were plates and glasses and utensils in the kitchen drawers and pots and pans and even some Tupperware in the kitchen. It was as though the people who’d lived here had vanished into the ether one day, stealing away in the middle of the night, carrying only what they could. Knowing they had to get out, knowing it was time to run. From the law, from something dangerous. Taking only what would fit in the trunk of their car and abandoning everything else because they simply had to get away.

Just like her and Tommie.

Beverly had run her finger along the counter, hearing a fly buzz past her and noting dirty fingerprint smudges on the refrigerator and grease stains high on the kitchen walls. She could live here, she’d thought, and the idea had made her feel almost dizzy with possibility. She could turn it into a real home, and it would be hers and Tommie’s, just the two of them. Beyond the windows, she had noted the nearby barn, which she was told was being used for storage and was definitely off-limits. It mattered not at all, since Beverly had brought practically nothing with her, let alone anything she needed to store in a barn. Her eyes drifted to Tommie, who was sitting on a tree stump near the road. She had brought him with her this time but had asked him to wait outside. He was examining the back of his fingers, and she wondered what he was thinking. Sometimes she wished he would speak more, but he was a child who generally kept his thoughts to himself, as though his deepest desire was to move through the world quietly, attracting as little notice as possible. In time, perhaps, he would change, and as she’d stared at him, she knew she loved him more than she’d ever loved anyone.

Now it was morning, and they were in their new place, but other details remained blurry. She remembered that the owner didn’t have a lot of questions or ask for references, which had been both a blessing and a surprise; she’d paid cash for the deposit and the first month’s rent, but how long ago had that been? Four days? Five? However long it was, she’d been able to enroll Tommie in school and make sure that the bus would pick him up; she’d also been able to go grocery shopping, so he would have milk and cereal for breakfast and sandwiches for his school lunches. At a small store down the road, she’d bought only as much as she could carry and had hunted for bargains. For herself, she bought oatmeal and dry beans and two bags of rice and butter and salt and pepper, but Tommie needed a more-varied diet, so she’d splurged on half a dozen apples. She also bought hamburger and chicken drumsticks, though both packages were almost out of date and had been marked down to less than a third of the normal price. She’d separated the hamburger and chicken into individual portions right away before putting all of it into the freezer; she removed one portion per day for Tommie’s dinner, which he ate with either the beans or the rice. At night, after watching television, she read him Go, Dog. Go! and made sure he brushed his teeth. With the weather warming, she’d promised they would explore the property behind the house.

She hadn’t, however, had the energy to do much more than that. She sat for hours in the rockers out front and slept a lot when Tommie was at school and the house was quiet. Though her exhaustion had remained almost overwhelming since they’d arrived, standing in the orange-walled kitchen reminded her that there was work to do before the house would seem like theirs. After placing the empty glass in the sink, she pulled an old cookie jar from the cupboard. She lifted the lid and found the money roll she’d stashed after moving in. She removed a few bills, knowing she needed to go to the store again, since the groceries were almost gone. After that, she wanted to clean the kitchen from top to bottom, starting with the stove. She also had to empty the refrigerator of all that had been left behind. Getting rid of the god-awful orange walls meant scrubbing them beforehand, as well, to get them ready for painting. She’d always dreamed of a bright-yellow kitchen, something cheerful and welcoming, especially if she added another coat of glossy white paint to the cabinets. After that, she could pick wildflowers, maybe arrange them in one of the jelly jars she’d found in the cupboard. Closing her eyes, she felt a pleasant twinge of anticipation as she imagined how it might look when she was finished.

She counted the remaining money before hiding it again. Though she’d kept a running total in her head, touching and counting the bills made the sum more tangible somehow. It wasn’t enough to live on forever, but as long as she was fine with subsisting on rice and beans and oatmeal, she had time, even if she included the next month’s rent. It was hard, though. On the previous trip to the grocery store, she’d secretly pulled two grapes from a bunch that she couldn’t afford, and the natural, sugary flavor nearly made her moan with pleasure.