Downfall(24)

“It wasn’t much of a secret. These walls are as thick as tissue paper. I heard something fall and smelled something burning through the vents. I honestly expected pizza, which I would’ve been okay with. I know you’ve been working a lot. You didn’t have to go to any extra trouble for me.” He gave Noble the same wink he offered me and the way she giggled sent my heart tumbling. It felt like it had been years since she’d had the freedom to be the carefree, lighthearted little girl she’d been before I’d bolted with her in the middle of the night. If I hadn’t wanted to kiss him for any variety of reasons before, I wanted to lay one on him right now for the ability he had to make my kid laugh.

“Mommy fixed it. She always fixes everything.” Noble grabbed Solo’s much bigger, tattooed hand and proceeded to tug him toward the living room so she could show off her variety of toys and whatever new dance moves Riley had been teaching her.

He went without complaint and I felt like I was caught in a trance watching my daughter giggle and prance around the huge, tattooed man in my living room. Noble had never been around a good man before. Her father wanted nothing to do with her. We were both foolish teenagers taking risks we shouldn’t have and tried to prove a useless point when she was conceived. He was acting out, desperately trying to win approval for something. I was caught in a downward spiral, constantly searching for attention and any kind of reaction from my father. When I found out I was pregnant, Noble’s father couldn’t bail fast enough. She was not part of his plan at all. In fact, she was the opposite of whatever it was he was trying to accomplish. He shoved money at me, demanding I get rid of the ‘mistake.’ When I refused, he convinced his family to send him away to a fancy boarding school in Europe before the truth came out. It didn’t take a genius to figure out my baby and I would be better off without him.

Then there was my father.

The man never had time for me, never acted like I existed. He looked through me like I was made of glass. I was used to his indifference. I lived my life being invisible in his house no matter how much I acted out or silently screamed for approval. I had no idea how to react when Noble came along and my father started showing an unexplained, intense interest in her. All the love and affection I’d been starved of as a child, my father heaped upon my curly-haired baby. He treated her like a princess, called her his ‘precious little doll,’ and finally acted like the father I’d dreamed of having myself. I didn’t know his actions were a purposeful attack on both me and my mother, that he had ulterior motives I would never have been able to see coming. I didn’t know he was using my child as a pawn to drive my mother over the edge of the mental cliff to which she’d been precariously clinging. I was so in the dark about things that when the truth came to light, it was blinding. I was so happy he’d finally come around, I hadn’t even questioned his actions until it was almost too late.

Then there was Mr. Sanchez. Sure, he wasn’t as bad as the rest, but he was still a man in my daughter’s life who judged her and found her lacking simply because she wasn’t from the same place he was. It seemed so unfair to decide a child was unworthy of acceptance when they weren’t in control of their circumstances. Sure, Noble had come from a lot when we first showed up, but now she had next to nothing and it totally sucked that her former babysitter’s husband was cruel and prejudiced enough to take even more away from her.

But not Solo.

Nope. Solomon Sanders, with all his tough guy attitude and dangerous swagger, sat down on my living room floor and played with my daughter like she was the single best thing in his entire day. He smiled with her, laughed at her silly antics, and promised her they would have a foot race when the weather cooled down. He played with whatever doll she handed him, no matter how frilly, and he didn’t blink an eye when Noble eventually crawled into his lap and started tracing the colorful tattoos that snaked up and down his strong arms. He patiently described what each image was and why he’d permanently etched them into his skin. Noble was extremely proud of herself when she recognized MOM in a scrolling banner suspended between the beaks of two birds on his bicep.

“You got an owie.” I glanced over from where I was setting the last of our dinner on the breakfast bar and watched as Noble patted Solo’s cheek and lifted her tiny fingers to touch the ugly bruise around his eye. The swelling had gone down, and most of the blue and purple had lightened. Now there was a yellowish tinge to the injury which almost got lost as it blended with his naturally bronze complexion.

I was so glad he didn’t wear his hat. When Noble used his broad shoulders for leverage so she could touch her lips to the slightly discolored area, Solo’s dark eyes melted like sweet chocolate candy. It did something to my insides watching such a big, strong guy go soft over the innocent, childish affection. Clearly Solo hadn’t let enough people in his life take care of his owies for him. Suddenly, I found myself blinking back tears and clearing my throat which was clogged with a rush of emotion.

“We can eat if you’re ready.” I waved a hand at the food on the breakfast bar. “We’ll have to sit on the couch and eat on the coffee table.” I didn’t trust the shaky, dining room table that came with the apartment. I’d already picked up dinner off the floor once tonight.

Wordlessly Solo climbed to his feet, Noble hanging from around his neck like a little monkey. She squealed and demanded I look how high off the ground she was. I smiled, a real one. The first genuine one that’d crossed my face in a very long time. I’d almost forgotten how it felt to relax enough to enjoy such a simple moment.