Downfall(11)

I tried to hide my obvious ogling as he wiped his hands on his jeans in a move that seemed practiced and familiar. He closed the hood with a thunk and turned to look at me with a lifted eyebrow. It was hard to read his expression under the shadow the brim of his hat cast over his face, but I was pretty sure he was once again judging me and finding my basic life skills lacking. If you owned a car, it was your responsibility to take care of it. I knew that, I simply didn’t have the money to do so, and didn’t need him poking at that particularly sore wound. I got enough daily reminders about how spectacularly I was failing at pretty much everything aside from being a good mom.

Solo snatched off his hat and ran a hand through his short hair. When he sighed, it was deep and long, as if I’d single-handedly added a thousand more pounds to whatever burden he was already carrying. He cracked his neck, which made me jump, and narrowed his dark eyes in my direction.

I was holding Noble close to my chest. The combination of the heat and the walk to the car had proven too much for her. I wouldn’t let her wander far from my side, so boredom and exhaustion won out. She fell asleep as soon as Solo started tinkering around with the car. I squeezed her tighter under the weight of his penetrating gaze and purposely buried my nose in her sweet-smelling curls so I didn’t have to face his eyes directly. I was used to people looking at me with a mixture of disappointment and disdain, so I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t ready to face it from this big, brooding stranger.

“You’re not working the rest of the day, right?” He wiped a hand over his grim face and sighed again. “Instead of dropping me at my car, take me to work and I’ll give you a tune-up before your car gives up the ghost. I’ll catch a ride home with one of the guys.”

I shifted Noble’s weight and automatically shook my head in the negative. “You don’t have to do that. You got it running. That’s more than enough. You’ve already saved me from more than one really terrible situation. I can’t repay you for either, but I am so grateful you seem to have a knack for being in the right place at the right time.”

He propped a hip on the front end of the car and watched me unwaveringly. “You don’t need to repay me. In both instances, it was the right thing to do, and even though most people around here don’t adhere to the philosophy of doing right by others, my mom raised me better than that. If you can help out, you should. I can keep your car running for you beyond the two or three weeks it’s going to last if you don’t let me take it to my garage. Don’t turn down help around here when it’s offered. It doesn’t come by very often.”

It was my turn to sigh so heavily I was almost surprised that the whoosh of air didn’t blow him over. “It’s been my experience that nothing comes without the expectation of reciprocation. I can’t repay your kindness, and I doubt there’s any scenario in which I am going to be of any help to you. I’m not looking to get myself buried in a debt I can’t repay.” I didn’t know much about the way this dark part of the city operated, but I did have enough common sense to know that digging my hole any deeper was not a good idea. I didn’t want to owe anyone anything. This guy already made me uneasy. The last thing I wanted was to feel like I had to give in to him.

Solo pushed off the car and gave his head a shake. He put his ball cap back on and rolled his impressively built shoulders. “Trust me, you don’t have anything I want. I’m trying to be a nice guy and help a neighbor out. You don’t want my help, it’s your funeral. You don’t want to believe it’s possible there are people here who actually have a conscience and give a shit about the people around them, that’s on you. I have too much going on in my life to try and change your mind. Favors are not unlimited, no matter where you live, and bad people are not limited to these streets.” He gave a grunt as he bent to pick up his tools and gave me a cold look over his shoulder. “My car is in a lot a few blocks over. Since I’m already late, I’ll need you to drop me off after all.”

His sharp reprimand made me cringe. I felt like a little kid getting scolded by a teacher. A lot of times I forgot just how inexperienced and na?ve I really was. I’d had Noble so young, and watched my world implode so recently, it was easy to forget how all those things happened before I was old enough to legally drink.

Freeing a hand from underneath Noble’s weight, I blindly reached out, locking my fingers around one of Solo’s solid, heavily tattooed forearms. Muscle flexed under my fingertips and I fought not to gasp at the sensation. His skin was so warm. He felt dynamic and unbreakable, nothing like the polished and smooth men I was used to. There was nothing soft here, and suddenly his level of hard made all kinds of sense. Everything in my new life was hard. The choices I had to make. The day-to-day survival. The act I had to keep up in order to fool my daughter.

“You’re right. I’d be an idiot not to take you up on the offer to fix my car for me. Thank you for the offer. I’m sorry if I’m being difficult. The last time someone offered to help me, I lost more than you can imagine.” I was used to be being pulled close with one hand, while the other stabbed me in the back. It was my own judgment I questioned, more than his intentions. “It’s no longer in my nature to take someone doing something nice for me at face value. I see hidden motives behind every good deed. That’s my issue, and it isn’t fair to cast every new person I encounter into the role of villain.” I huffed out a breath and shifted uncomfortably under Noble’s weight and his gaze. “I’m stuck here for the foreseeable future. There is no way out for me, but I don’t want this for Noble. I want her to thrive and succeed, and go wherever she wants to go in life. I know I need to learn how to live here so she can see it’s possible to have a home and be happy wherever you happen to end up.” I forced a smile and fluttered my eyelashes at him. That move used to work back in the day to soften whomever I directed the look at, but Solo seemed totally unaffected by the overt flirting. “I will be forever grateful if you can squeeze my car into your schedule today. I promise I will pay you back as soon as I find a new job and get on top of all the other bills I haven’t paid over the last few months.”