Down to My Soul (Soul Series Book 2)(93)

Under all that beauty, I see her lies.

She turns to the refrigerator to grab orange juice and catches sight of me.

“Oh, hey.” Pink tints her cheeks. “I mean, good morning. I didn’t know you were up yet. I know you had a late night.”

I don’t answer and don’t move, but her voice like molasses, thick and sweet, sticks to me, weakens my resolve. And if I speak or move, I might give away just how flimsy my defenses are against her, when she’s not even trying.

“Um, there’s breakfast.” She gestures to the eggs and bacon and toast she’s made. “I wasn’t sure if you . . . well, if you’d want to eat, or if Sarita was coming. And I wanted to make sure you, well, had . . . yeah.”

I would laugh at her rambling if I wasn’t so gutted by what I saw on that tape. If I wasn’t so furious with Drex and frustrated that I can’t rip his throat out for threatening her and exploiting her. So I don’t laugh, I just keep staring at her, not sure which move to make. Her eyes drop to the floor. She shifts her feet and shoves her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.

“Say something, Rhys.” Uncertainty threads her words. “I can’t deal with the silent treatment.”

“Ironic since I did for two months.” I shake my head and move toward the coffee on the counter. “A few hours and already you can’t deal.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” She sighs and reaches up to grab a plate from a high shelf in the cabinet. The stretch pulls the cropped sweater up a little more to reveal just the bottom curve of her breast.

Dammit, no bra.

My mouth waters, and not for the food she’s plating. I sit at the counter, gulping down the coffee, even though it’s so hot it singes the lining of my throat. She sets my food down and takes the high-backed stool beside me, silently digging into her breakfast. Tension entombs the kitchen, sealing us in dead air and tight silence while we eat. After a few moments she tosses her fork onto her plate and takes a huge gulp of the orange juice.

“I thought it might . . .” Her words peter out, and she swallows. “I thought it might be better if I crash at San’s for a while.”

My fork hovers between the plate and my mouth for a few seconds. I drop it and swing my head around to stare at her.

“So you’re running again?”

“I’m not running.” She presses a shaky hand to her forehead, shielding half her face from me. “I just thought it’d be better for you. You obviously don’t want me—”

“Stop right there,” I cut in. “How the hell do you know what I want? How do you presume to know anything right now?”

“Well, you didn’t want to be anywhere near me last night and you’re barely speaking this morning. I thought you’d . . . I just thought it would make it less awkward while we figure things out.”

“Do you have any idea how hard it was for me not to f*ck you in half last night?” I demand, voice low and tight. “And even now, not to bend you over the counter? I want you all the time.”

“Still?” she whispers, fear and hope twisting in her eyes.

“All the time,” I reiterate, my words softer, but still fierce. “But I’m still sorting this out, Kai. I just found out about all of this last night. You can’t just run every time we fight. If you hadn’t been on tour, I would have been at your door every day begging you to take me back, even knowing you didn’t want to see me. Knowing that you may have even hated me. It wouldn’t have mattered. I’d rather live with your anger and disappointment every hour of every day than be apart from you. All I’m asking is for you to show me you’d do the same.”

She’s off the stool and standing right in front of me as soon as my last word hits the air, her scent wrapping around me. Her eyes connected with mine, setting me on fire. Her hands cup my face, forcing me to look at her.

“Then you’ve got it.” The words are husky and breathless. “I want you to forgive me. I need it like air, Rhys, but I’ll be here living with your anger until you’re ready. I’ll take whatever you think I deserve, just don’t stop loving me.”

It’s a compulsion, my hands sliding down her waist to grip her hips, to pull her close. I press my forehead to hers, taking in her strawberry-scented breath.

“Pep, I—”

The door swings open, and Bristol walks in, dark hair scraped back, all suited up, stiletto heels clicking across the marble floor. Her steps falter for a second when she sees us standing so close. I reluctantly put space between Kai and me, returning to my breakfast.

“Morning, Bris.” I grab Kai’s orange juice and take a quick gulp to soothe the third degree coffee burn.

Marlon’s right behind her, his face more somber than I’ve seen it in a long time.

“Marlon, what’s up?” I take a bite of the toast smeared with preserves from Glory Falls. “Didn’t know you were coming. Did I forget a session or something?”

“I called him.” Bristol helps herself to a piece of toast and peers at the jar of preserves like it’s under a microscope.

“It’s strawberry preserves,” Kai says with a tiny smile. “I have pear, too, if you want that instead.”

Where Bristol hesitates, Marlon dives right in, grabbing two pieces of toast and loading them up with preserves. Grunting and nodding at how delicious it is.