Down and Out(97)

“This is all my fault.” His voice cracks. “God, you must hate me right now.”
I open my mouth to tell him how incredibly wrong he is, but a quick knock on the door—followed by it swinging open—keeps me from saying anything.
Blake steps inside, clutching a big brown envelope as he closes the door behind him. His brows are drawn tight as he glances back and forth between me and Declan. “Is everything okay?” he asks hesitantly.
Declan and I share a look, and I can tell we’re both thinking the same thing: is it?
Blake clears his throat at our silent exchange and hands Declan the envelope. “I tried to take care of the thing, but they wouldn’t let me. The lady said there’d been a change in the lineup and Savannah wasn’t fighting tonight. That’s all she knew.”
What “thing”?
Declan stands and turns his back to me, lowering his voice as he says something to Blake, who looks at me over Declan’s shoulder. He nods as Declan talks, then gives me a quick wave goodbye and disappears out the door.
“Did you tell him?”
Declan shakes his head and looks down at the thick envelope in his hands as he slowly makes his way over to me.
The last time he had an envelope like that, he’d gone and done something incredibly sweet and thoughtful. But the look on his face right now is so serious, I don’t know what to expect.
I really hope there’s a tiny puppy in there, because I don’t know how much realer I can get tonight.
Declan stops in front of me. “I was gonna wait to give you this until after you won your match tonight, but. . .” He shrugs and glances down at his hands.
What does this boy have up his sleeve? You know, besides tattoos and muscle?
Following his gaze, I watch him turn the package over. “What if I didn’t win? Would you still have given it to me?”
I’m only teasing, but he looks up at me with such certainty, it wipes the tiny smile off my face.
“You would’ve won. I have no doubt of that.”
His unwavering confidence in me leaves me speechless long enough for him to add, “But I still want you to have it. The outcome doesn’t change that.”
He hands it over to me, and my stomach sinks at its heavy weight. It’s definitely not a puppy.
Bending the metal tabs, I pull open the top and peek inside, but I still don’t understand what I’m seeing.
“What is this?” I ask carefully, because it sure as shit can’t be what it looks like. Declan knows better.
I glance up at him, expecting him to look nervous or contrite. What I don’t expect is the determined set of his jaw and the hard look in his eyes.
“It’s forty thousand dollars,” he says without pause or apology. “It’s what I was going to bet on you to win.”
Shock stretches my face as so many objections pop into my head that I’m struggling to voice even one. “Declan—”
He holds his hand up, stopping me. “The plan was to give you the forty grand that I won, that way I wouldn’t be out any money and you couldn’t object to me giving it to you, because I wouldn’t have been the one who earned it in the first place. You would’ve.”
“But I didn’t earn this. This is all yours,” I say, trying to give him the envelope back.
He puts his hands up, refusing to take it. “It’s not a gift, it’s an investment.”
“An investment,” I repeat dubiously. “An investment in what?”
“In you. In your future. Our future.” He glances down at the ultrasound pictures still clutched in his hands before clearing his throat. “I’m not gonna be able to fight forever, and one of us should have a fancy-schmancy college education to fall back on. So what do you say? You feel like going to school so you can support us when we’re old and wrinkly?”
I laugh and bite my lip, tearing up as I look down at the bag of money in my lap with a whole new perspective. “The school’s going to think I’m a drug dealer if I try to pay my tuition with this.”
He laughs too, and relaxes a bit. After a second, he takes the money and sets it aside, along with the sonogram pictures, then steps between my legs. His hands rest on my hips as he says, “I know we weren’t expecting this, or even planning for it, but there’s no reason a baby will stop you from getting a degree. I’ll hire someone else to manage the gym, and I’d be more than f*cking happy to watch the kid while you’re in class or while you’re doing homework. Shit, I’ll be a stay-at-home dad and watch him all the time, if you want me to—”
I grab his face and pull him to me, kissing him before he can finish. “I love you.”
“I love you.” He places a tentative hand on my stomach and looks up at me, his green eyes filled with hope. “Does this mean we’re keeping him?”
A million different thoughts raced through my head as I watched that little heartbeat on the monitor. The main feeling I had was shock, mixed in with a healthy dose of awe, but I never once thought of not keeping it. Yes, it will be hard, and no, I’m not at all prepared for it, but it’s me and Declan. We essentially created a person out of thin air, and that’s . . . amazing.
I have a miracle growing inside me right now, and I can’t wait to meet it.
“Of course,” I say, smiling despite the tears running down my face.
“Oh, thank God,” he breathes, dropping his forehead to my shoulder. “I was so afraid that you blamed me.”
I let out tiny, hiccupped laugh. “Well, I didn’t get myself pregnant.”