Down and Out(57)

Part of me wants to tell him to take it all back because it’s too much and I just can’t accept it, and the other part wants to tell him that I love it. No one has ever done anything this considerate for me before.
Stepping out of his embrace, I turn around and face him. “What if I told you this is too much and I can’t accept it?”
“Then I’d tell you too bad, ’cause it’s staying.”
I nod slowly, chewing on the inside of my lip. “That’s what I thought.”
He squeezes the back of his neck. “I didn’t do all this just to sleep with you. I did it to show you how serious I am—about you, about us.” He exhales, like he was holding a pent-up breath. “I really want there to be an us.”
I stare at Declan, taking note of the smallest things. The stubble lining his jaw. The way his bottom lip is the tiniest bit fuller than the top. His dark, spiky lashes and the yellowish-green edges of the bruise framing his right eye. . .
He makes me feel things I’ve never felt. I want him so bad there’s literally an ache inside me that I know can only be sated by him.
Bringing my hand up, I gently trace his healing skin. His eyes widen infinitesimally before he leans into my touch and places his hand over my own.
The air in my lungs dries up from the simple touch. “What happened to keeping things strictly physical? This is more than sex. A lot more.”
Declan winces slightly. “Yeah, about that. . .” He kisses the inside of my wrist and shrugs. “I’ve decided sex isn’t enough. I want it all. I want everything from you.”
A lump forms in my dry throat. I think it’s a scoff getting stuck. “That’s not fair.”
He closes the space between us, until all I can see, feel, and smell is Declan. “You want to talk about what’s not fair? What’s not fair is that you want this just as much as I do, but you’re denying it because you’re afraid. That’s not fair.”
Declan’s right. I am scared.
Because I think he just ruined me.




I’m just about to reintroduce myself to her perfect pink lips when Hatebreed blares from my pocket. It’s Marcus.
I groan and drop my forehead to hers, then kiss the tip of her nose and back away. “I, uh, stacked all your stuff in the closet. I would’ve put everything away for you, but I didn’t want you to get mad at me for going through your stuff, so. . .”
Actually, I didn’t want her to get mad at me for potentially finding her vibrator. I like my nuts just the way they are, thanks.
Savannah nods. She looks like she’s still absorbing her new room, her shrewd eyes darting around, taking in every detail, and it’s just . . . fascinating to watch her mind work. I’m dying to know what she’s thinking, but my phone keeps ringing and I don’t want to intrude on this moment she’s having, so I head into the hallway and answer it.
Holding the phone up to my ear, I say, “Hey man, what’s up?”
“Forgot to ask if you’re comin’ to the fight tonight. Mendez versus O’Phelan. Supposed to be a good one.”
“Shit.” I run my hand over the rough stubble littering my jaw. “I totally forgot.” I glance back at the open doorway and think about inviting Savannah.
I’m not sure if she’ll enjoy the fight, but the after-parties are always amazing. Granted, that’s usually because I’m three sheets to the wind and have a girl or two wrapped around me, but still. . .
I know without a shadow of a doubt it’ll be infinitely better with Savannah by my side, even if I don’t get laid. Although you never know. This could be our second date. I’ve promised her great things for our second date.
“I’ll ask Savannah if she wants to go.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“Then I’ll pass.” I’d rather hang out with Savannah here than not at all. Call me a *, call me whipped, I don’t care. It’s the truth.
Marcus laughs. “You got it bad, bro.”
You have no f*cking clue.
“Look, man, she seems like a sweet girl, and I’m happy for you. I really am. But are you sure this is her scene? I’m not just talkin’ about the fight, I’m talkin’ about after. You know how crazy these things can get, and between the drunk *s and Jamie—who’s gonna be pissed, by the way—you gotta keep an eye on her at all times. You feel me?”
“Jesus Christ, Dad, I know. I’ll get her home in one piece, I promise.”
We say goodbye and I hang up as Savannah peeks her head out of the doorway. “Is everything okay?”
I slip the phone back in my pocket and walk over to her. “Yeah, I just forgot about this match tonight.”
At her narrowed eyes, I smile and say, “Relax, it’s not my fight. But I usually go, even when it’s not.” The owner likes it when the bigger names show up to watch the smaller matches. It makes the fans crazy to “rub elbows with the big guys”—his words, not mine.
Savannah’s face falls. “Oh.”
“Get dressed. Come with me.”
Her brows lift till they’re practically in her hairline. “Really?”
“Yeah. There’s even an after-party and everything.” I run my fingers down her arm and skim her fingertips before taking her hand in mine. “Some might even consider this our second date.”
She grins and glances down at our clasped hands. “Is this your way of asking me on a second date?”
“No.”
At her frown, I bring her hand up to my mouth and kiss the back. “Asking would imply there’s a chance you could say no. So I’m not asking. I’m telling.”