Don't Let Go(96)

I watched his lips as he spoke, and I wanted to lick them. Okay, so he’d brought out my more carnal urges.
“You play dirty,” I said. “Not fair bringing Seth into it.”
“Told you I don’t play fair,” he said, staring at my mouth as well. “Is Becca home tonight?”
“No, she’s staying another night at Lizzy’s,” I said.
“Then I promise I’ll make it worth your while after the carnival,” he said, pulling me close to him.

? ? ?

Ruthie and I were cleaning up after a very chaotic, productive day. “I’m proud of you,” she said while she ran the sales tape for the close of the day. “You actually watched the parade for once. Can’t remember the last time you even bothered to go outside for that.”
“When Bec was little,” I said, collapsing into a chair. My muscles were stiffening up a little from the morning’s acrobatics. I smiled as I thought about that.
“Bullshit,” she said. “I’d take her out there and you’ve always had something else to do.”
“Customers,” I said, gesturing around me as if there were hoards to prove it.
“Oh, whatever,” she said. “So, was it Noah’s influence that got you out there?”
“No,” I said, scoffing. “Maybe it was just a good mood? I do have those. And Becca was in it, so I had to watch for her.”
“Maybe it was a sex high,” Ruthie said, giving me a cockeyed questioning look.
“I vote for that,” I said, raising my hand.
“I knew it!” she said. “I knew you had that just-laid look about you.” She laughed and threw a stale cookie at me.
I took a bite. I wasn’t proud. I didn’t have time to go get lunch.
“I’m hoping I have that look again tonight,” I said. “But I have to go to this stupid carnival first.”
Ruthie sighed. “Annnnnd . . . the Grinch is back.”
“Please, you don’t get tired of it?” I asked. “We hear that damn music all day, smell the grease all day. You want to go back at night?”
“Sure!”
“Well, you’re demented.”
“No, you’re just tainted,” she said. “This year’s different.”
“Oh, my God, so different,” I said, laying a hand on my chest. “I need to call Seth again, speaking of that. He didn’t answer earlier.”
“Listen to you,” Ruthie said, stopping. “Did you ever think you’d be able to say those words?”
I smiled. “I know.”
“So, what did you want to talk to me about that wasn’t ominous?” she asked.
I looked at her for a couple of beats, taking a deep breath before making the jump. Hope you’re okay with this, Mom. And if you’re not, I really don’t care.
“Settling.”
She frowned. “Settling on what?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know what I’d do here without you, Ruthie. Especially the last few weeks while I lost my mind.”
Ruthie laughed softly and came to flop in the chair across from me.
“No big deal, that’s what we do,” she said.
“No, that’s what you do,” I said. “You take care of me. You always have. But you also took over the store.” I gestured around us. “You ran the place. And let’s be honest, you were doing most of that already anyway.”
Ruthie shrugged. “I enjoy it, Jules. I love this store. We grew up in here.”
“I know,” I said. “But I never fell in love with it like you did.”
“That’s just because you mom shoved it down your throat,” she said, chuckling.
“No—I mean, yeah, that’s part of it,” I said. “But also I’m just not wired for this. Running a business.”
“What are you saying?” Ruthie said, leaning forward, looking concerned. “That you want out?”
I looked around me, at all that my mother had created and handed over to me. Never settle, baby.
“I settled on my whole life because my mother told me to,” I said. “Gave up my son, my dreams, and my guy because she said to. Took this store—even moved into her house because she designed it that way.”
“Jules,” she said, pulling my attention back. “Where are you going with this?”
I took a deep breath. “I want to sell the store.”
Ruthie sat back, looking conflicted.
“To you,” I continued.
Her jaw dropped. “Holy shit,” she whispered.
I grimaced. “Is that good?”
She waved her hands around in lieu of the words that eluded her. “I—I don’t know. I’m kind of—wow.”
“Well, you said you wanted to start a business, and I know this one’s not new, but no one I know has the passion and drive to take this place on like you do,” I said. “And I wouldn’t just leave, I’d stay to help you with anything you need. I just have other things I want to dive into.”
“I’m—blown away,” she said, getting up and sitting on the arm of my chair to hug me. “Oh, my God, Jules, this is surreal, my head is spinning.”
“So is that a yes?” I asked.
“Well, let me talk to Frank about it, but let’s whisper yes right now and yell it on Monday,” she said.
I laughed and hugged her again. I had thought that would be difficult, but once I started it was like the store was jumping to get away from me. I couldn’t really blame it.
“Oh, my God, and I got a rocking chair!” she said, pulling back. “I forgot to tell you.”