Don't Let Go(45)

She laughed lightly and grinned a little sheepishly. “I wanted a book.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I know a closer commute.”
Her laugh grew melodic. “I know, I’m so crazy. But I didn’t know if it would be awkward—me coming over there.”
I scoffed. “I take everyone’s money equally,” I said, making her snicker again.
“Well, I’ll keep that in mind,” she said. “Now if Noah would just relax.”
My stomach clenched and I gripped the box tighter. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, he’s so paranoid we’re going to end up in the same room or something,” she said. “Like we’re gonna compare notes.”
I laughed, but it was an uncomfortable laugh, and I felt he might be right. Just talking about him with her was giving me the willies.
“And he’s been so moody the last two days. Today when he got to the diner he was somewhere else completely, not listening to anyone, so I dropped him at home and told him to have a beer and tell me how to find the library,” she said. She held up her palms as if to justify. “He’d do that a lot when he was working, so it’s not new to me. Everything was classified and everything ate him up until it was done. But, my God, we’re just sitting here in this sleepy little town, what could be so damn stressful?”
My mouth opened and closed, and I turned to focus on the doors ahead, spotting Becca’s little blue Chevy parked on the side. Where all the cars were jammed together. A new irk joined all the rest in my brain as I thought about her not telling me she was going anywhere, parking where I’d specifically told her was a guaranteed fender bender, and Noah’s apparent mood change after our encounter. I felt a sweat breaking out.
“Well, coming home is probably an adjustment,” I said, turning to face her before we went in. “He’s about to be a dad—and a husband.” And I said that with not a bit of stutter.
The light left her face. “Yeah.”
I was taken off guard by that and wasn’t sure how to respond. It wasn’t like we were best friends or anything tight enough to dig around. She wasn’t Ruthie. I couldn’t threaten to take her mixer away if she didn’t spill the goods.
I bit my lower lip. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” she repeated, distracted. She twisted her fingers together and averted her eyes. “Can I ask you a question?”
Oh, shit.
“Okay,” I said, not actually feeling okay about it. Her face said it wasn’t going to be okay. It wasn’t going to be something innocent like who cut my hair or where I got my necklace.
Her eyes met mine, blinking fast. “Do you think things really happen for a reason? Like—you know—every purpose under Heaven and all that?”
Wasn’t what I expected. “Um, yeah, I guess so.” My mind reeled, looking for the reasons behind that question. “I’ve always kind of had to believe that, it got me through some rough times.”
“That’s what I mean,” she said, her pretty face going serious. “I worry about stuff like that. My mom’s always been one for ‘Give it to God, things happen like they’re supposed to,’ and all that, but—”
She stopped, and I was intrigued.
“But what?” I asked.
“What if I’m not making the right choice?” she asked, her voice fading at the end and the color in her cheeks fading with it.
I blinked and pushed down the feeling of impending shock that wanted to land on me before I even knew what she really meant.
“About what, Shayna?” I asked.
She licked her lips and her eyes misted. “About marrying Noah.”

? ? ?

It felt as if all the air in my lungs was sucked out with a vacuum cleaner.
Oh, my God.
I stared at her, trying not to look shocked or disturbed or confused as hell. I must have pulled one heck of a bluff if she was able to admit any reservations about her relationship with Noah to me. It went against all brands of woman code to show weakness with your man’s ex. Then again, I realized, she was new to town and alone except for Noah, and I was probably the closest thing she had to a friend in Copper Falls. That just proved how truly twisted up the situation was.
“That’s just nerves,” I said on a whisper.
“I don’t know,” she answered with a forced smile as she dabbed at her eyes.
“You’ve got double-duty hormones going crazy, too, so don’t let your mind mess with you like that,” I said, wondering where the words were coming from. “And my ex-husband’s floor show probably didn’t—”
“We were about to break up again when I got pregnant,” she blurted, two heavy tears breaking free from her eyes. She instantly sucked in a deep breath and blew it out slowly like the words had been strangling her. All the color came rushing back to her cheeks.
And probably to mine, as well.
“Ag—” I stopped and cleared my throat. “Again?”
“Jesus,” she breathed, covering her face with her hands. “What is this, true confessions day?”
My box suddenly felt like it grew in poundage, and I shifted it on my hip. “Let’s—go inside, Shayna,” I said, pulling the door open. “We can go sit down.”
I needed the seconds to pull my head together as well. Okay, pregnancy before marriage happened all the time; that was no shocker. It had been the same with me, and Noah was trying to make sure he did it right this time. That explained his revisit of so much of our history, too. It probably felt like déjà vu.