Dirty Red (Love Me With Lies)(53)

Why would he keep something like this from me? Why hadn’t they shut down the testing? I thought about calling Cash, but her loyalty was obviously to my father if she hadn’t told me already. I was going to have to dig this out myself. Money. That had to be it. At the last sales meeting, he’d mentioned a drop in our sales. Prenavene was a way to bring the company back. Were we really that desperate for a new drug that he would do something like this? Risk everything?

The next morning, I went into the office early. My father arrived promptly at six o’clock every day. I had an hour before he would show. I had a set of spare keys to his office. I unlocked the door and flicked on the light. Stepping around to his computer, I powered it on, drumming my fingers on his desk. His level of access in the system was higher than mine. I would need his passcodes to access his files. Swearing, I typed in my parents' wedding anniversary. Incorrect Code popped up on the screen. That was a terrible guess on my part — he wasn’t exactly the sentimental type.

I tried birthdates, my sister's and mine. Nothing. Finally, I tried the coordinates to his hunting cabin in North Carolina. The system magically opened, and I had the vast grid of OPI-Gem in front of me. I clicked on the icon marked Prenavene and went to town.



It was true. Oh God, it was true. By the time I locked the door to his office, I had enough information to shut down my father’s company and put him in prison for the rest of his life. The worst part was I wanted to. No, I didn’t. He was my father … well, kind of. He’d raised me. Or maybe Mattia had raised me. I wasn’t even sure anymore.

My head throbbed as I made my way to the elevator. I was going to call in sick. I couldn’t look all of those people in the face when I knew what I knew. I had to figure this out. Find a way to know exactly who was involved and who was being kept in the dark like me. My head was down as the doors opened. When I looked up, he was standing in front of me, a newspaper tucked under his arm. Shit, why hadn’t I thought to take the stairs?

I threw my shoulders back, forcing a smile.

“Good morning, Daddy.”

He nodded at me, exiting the elevator. Then all of a sudden, he stopped. “Why are you here so early?”

The lie rolled off my tongue easily. “I’m not feeling well today. I just came in to pick up some work. I’m taking the day off.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You look fine. Go home and change and come back in. I need you here today.”

“I’m sick,” I said, like he hadn’t heard me the first time.

“This is a pharmaceutical company, Johanna. Go get some samples out of storage and medicate yourself.”

I watched the empty hallway for a good minute after he’d disappeared into his office. Did that really just happen? Of course it did. My father hadn’t taken a sick day in twenty years of work, what would make me think it would be okay to offer him illness as an excuse? I stepped into the elevator and the door closed. If I hurried, I could be back in forty minutes.





Chapter Twenty-SevenPresent



Caleb took the baby to his condo the day after he came to pick up his clothes. His face was grim and determined as he stood at the door and let me say goodbye. I kiss the red fuzz on her head and smile casually. I am treating this whole situation as if they are going to the supermarket rather than moving out. Bide your time. Let him see how hard it is to take care of a baby by himself. I feel smug as they pull out of the driveway. Sometimes a little separation is good for the soul. Caleb is a family man. In a few days, he’ll be back, and I’ll try harder. Everything will work out. Estella is my sure thing. She’ll keep us tied together no matter how bad things get.

When his car lights disappear, I open the freezer and pull out two bags of frozen vegetables. Carrying them to the table, I poke holes in the plastic with my finger and start thumbing peas into my mouth. There are things I could do to make the situation better. Katine takes her kids to Mommy & Me classes. They sit in circles and sing and bang f*cking tambourines. I could do that.

The doorbell rings. I shove a handful of lima beans into my mouth and dance toward the door. Maybe, Caleb has changed his mind already.

My husband is not standing on the doorstep. I eye the man who is.

“What do you want?”

“I came to see if you were all right.”

“Why wouldn’t I be all right?” I snap. I make to close the door, but he pushes past me and walks into the foyer.

“You shouldn’t be here.” My words might as well be vapor. They don’t reach him, or he has his own agenda, per usual.

He looks over his shoulder at me, his smirk so familiar I feel my vertigo slip.

“Of course I should be here. I’m checking up on my sister-in-law. It’s the family thing to do, especially since my brother has left you.”

I throw the door closed and the pictures on the wall rattle.

“He hasn’t left me, you abhorrent prick.” I march past him and sit at the table with my peas.

He strolls in a moment later and starts examining the photos on the wall like he’s never seen them. I eat my peas one by one and watch him.

Finally, he sits down across from me, folding his hands on the tabletop.

“What did you do this time?”

I look away from the smug expression on his face. “I didn’t do anything. Everything is fine. He hasn’t left me.”