Dirty Little Secrets (Dirty Little #1)(55)

Marcus is visibly touched, and he’s fighting through the emotions he’s feeling. He and I aren’t the kind of people who have ever had someone go out of their way to care for us. It’s a difficult thing to accept, and it’s hard to do gracefully sometimes.

“I will do that,” Marcus finally replies, his voice wavering. “Thank you so much.” I see Marcus’s gaze move to where Caleb is holding my hand on the table, and he gives me a smile.

Caleb’s phone rings, and he quickly pulls it out of his pocket, his eyes narrowing when he looks at the screen. “This is rude, I apologize, but I need to take this call.”

Marcus nods. Caleb kisses my cheek, then squeezes my hand as he leaves.

“You’re going back to New York with him,” Marcus says. There isn’t any sadness in his voice, just…happiness. For me.

“I haven’t decided yet,” I reply, twisting my fingers together.

“Yes you have. Do I really need to say it?”

“Say what?” I ask.

“This isn’t where you belong anymore.”





* * * * *





After Caleb and I leave the pizza place, we take a tour of my Chicago. We walk past my high school, the playground where I broke my leg jumping off of the swing set when I was 12. We get a cupcake at my favorite bakery, and dip our feet into my favorite fountain. As we walk around, I realize that despite how much I love this city, and the fact that it holds countless dear memories for me, it doesn’t feel like home. Not anymore.

We meet a few of my friends for drinks at bar I worked at during summer break before my last year of college, and Caleb charms them all. I haven’t told anyone that I’m leaving for good, but all of them seem to know that I’m not coming back. They say their goodbyes, one by one, as they clear out of the bar.

Later, when Caleb and I are lying naked on my sheets, a cool, gentle breeze blows through the open windows. My bed is nowhere near as comfortable as Caleb’s is. It’s a little too small, and the sheets are a little too scratchy, but being in it with Caleb feels right.


I’m lying on my stomach, my head resting on a pillow, facing Caleb.

Caleb’s on his side, watching me, sliding his fingertips up and down my spine. Each pass makes me shiver, and Caleb grins every time I do it.

“I like Marcus,” he says. “I can see why you were willing to do what you did for him and his mother.”

“I love him,” I reply. “Things are a little weird between us now. Not all the way off, but not the way that they were before. I crossed a line for him, and now things are strained, and I’m not sure if they’ll ever be the same again. I mean, it’s not like we can’t be friends anymore, nothing like that. Just…different, I suppose. Like a piece in the puzzle popped out a little, and neither one of us can put it back. Does that make sense?”

Caleb leans down and kisses my shoulder. “It makes sense to me. You went above and beyond, and he feels like there isn’t any way for him to make it up to you.”

“Maybe,” I say, giving that some thought. He doesn’t need to make it up to me at all. “I think he feels like what I did for him changed my life. But after meeting you, I think he realizes that it’s a good thing.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah. It made me realize that this?” I say, waving my hand in the air. “It’s my house, but it’s not my home.”

He smiles, knowing exactly what I’m getting at, but needing to hear it just the same. “What are you saying?”

“You know what I’m saying,” I tease. “What you said earlier about building a home with you, it sounded really good, but-”

“But?” His eyebrows practically raise up to his hairline.

“But I think I’ve already done it.”

Caleb’s lips slowly stretch up into a smile, until he’s beaming. That smile is bright as the sun, even here in this dark room.

“So what does that mean?” he asks.

“Well, I was thinking that after I complete the work I’m doing for my current clients, I could go talk to Ben.” I roll over onto my side, and thread my fingers through Caleb’s. “Maybe his offer will still stand after he takes a look at my work.”

“And you’ll stay with me?” God, the look on his face takes my breath away. I want to put that look on his face every day for the rest of my life.

“As long as you’ll have me.”

Caleb rolls over on top of me, his body pressed against mine. The weight of him feels amazing, and familiar. He anchors himself on his left arm, as he leans down and kisses me. “I’ll have you,” he whispers against my lips.

“I love you,” I tell him.

“I love you,” he replies.

“Tomorrow, after one last bagel from my favorite shop, let’s go home.”





CHAPTER THIRTY





The offices of Williams Software are about what I expected for a cutting-edge software developer. Most leaders in this industry are big on keeping the creative juices flowing, and want coders who spend long days in front of a computer to have a place where they can go and blow off some steam. There are games everywhere, bright paintings and photos on the walls, and the typical cubicle farm was done away with in favor of open workspaces. People are dressed casually, but they aren’t sloppy, and the second I step through the front doors, I feel welcome.