Dirty Little Secrets (Dirty Little #1)(45)

I want to believe him, but this is the farthest from okay I’ve been in a long, long time.





CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR





I wait for Caleb to return to the apartment for what feels like forever. I keep a watchful eye on the clock, which just makes the time pass more slowly. He left just before noon, and the sun is beginning to set now. I don’t want to panic, but I’ve never been out of contact with him for this long, and it’s difficult not to imagine that something terrible has happened to him in the hours that he’s been away.

He was in the pictures that were published of me last night. His name was in the captions, right next to mine. It’d be one thing for Privya to come after me, but if he somehow hurt Caleb…

No, I’m not going to think like that right now. My laptop is open, my tracking program is active. There haven’t been any new alerts since this morning. Caleb’s okay, he’s just taking some time like he said he was. Nothing has happened to him.

Maybe if I want it badly enough, it’ll be true.





* * * * *





Caleb still isn’t home as the clock strikes 10, and I’m starting to get pretty desperate.

So desperate, in fact, that I’ve got Jack Kemp’s cell phone number dialed on my phone, with my thumb hovering just above the “call” button. The waiting is killing me, and I just…I can’t deal with Caleb getting involved. I don’t want any issues that Kemp and Privya have with me to be taken out on Caleb.

I want this over with. Now. I always thought that I’d feel better about things once Caleb found out about what I had done, but no. It fills me with an anxiety that I can’t even explain, and it makes me want him in my sight every second of every day. If I thought I was worried thinking Privya was after me, it’s nothing compared to the possibility that he could go after Caleb.

Only the fact that I told Caleb I’d be here when he got back is keeping me in place. I’m not going to break my word.

He finally walks through the door at 10:15, and I nearly jump out of my seat. When he turns the corner into the dining room, where I’m sitting, he looks like he’s been awake for days. His eyes are tired, and his hair is all disheveled, like he’s been running his fingers through it all day.

“Caleb?” I want to ask him where he’s been and why he looks so worn out, but I’m not sure how he’ll react.

He holds out his hand. “C’mon. Let’s go to bed, it’s been a long day.”

I look at him like he’s lost his mind. “You can’t come home after being gone all day, after having the conversation that we had, and just ask me to go to bed.”

“Well, I just did,” he says, before rubbing at his eyes.

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything,” he replies. He so obviously doesn’t want to have this conversation, but we’re going to have it.

“You’ve been gone for over ten hours, Caleb. You did something.”

He shrugs. “I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“I can’t do this tonight, Mia. Okay? Let’s just go to bed.”

“I get that you’re tired, I really do. I don’t want to push you, but if you did something to try and save me, or get me out of this-”

“I was trying to figure out a way to…I don’t know, to make it right.”


Damn it, this is what I was worried about. It wasn’t just about him knowing, it was about him wanting to get involved.

“It’s not up to you to make it right,” I try to explain, keeping myself as calm as I possibly can. “It’s my mess, and I’m the one who has to clean it up.”

Just like that, there’s anger in his eyes. “How are you going to clean it up? By turning yourself in to him so he can…” He’s having difficulty saying the words, but I know what’s coming. “So he can kill you? No. You’re not doing that.”

“You said it yourself, the guy is a hitman!” I yell. “You don’t want me involved with him any more than I want you involved with him. And if you think I’m going to let you get between me and someone who is after me for something that I did, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“And if you think I’m going to let you turn yourself over because you robbed some shady slumlord who got what he deserved, then you’ve got another thing coming.”

“You looked him up,” I say. I can picture him at his office, sitting in front of his computer, verifying my story.

“I did,” he admits.

The thought of it is comforting to me. It’s what I would’ve done if I were in his shoes. I respect that he had doubts, that he had to verify things for himself. Maybe he just wanted to see how terrible of a person Kemp is and has been for years, and is still getting away with it.

“Good,” I reply, which seems to surprise him. “So you saw everything.”

“Yes. And I’m going to do something about it before something like that happens again.”

I reach up and rub at my temples, trying to stave away the headache that I can feel coming on. “Like what? You can’t get involved with this, Caleb.”

Caleb cradles my face in his hands, but there isn’t much tenderness there, like there has been all the times before. “I love you, okay? I’m in love with you, Mia. I’m already involved.”