Destiny Mine (Tormentor Mine #3)(89)
Startled, I open my eyes, but he’s already back, a small bottle in his hand. “Don’t worry, ptichka. We’ll get you there,” he promises huskily, and I jolt as he tips the bottle, drizzling the cool liquid all over my swollen sex. It trickles lower, to the crevice between my cheeks, and my pulse speeds again as our eyes meet.
In his gaze, I see hunger and something more, a wordless yet fierce demand. Hooking his forearms under my knees, he lifts my legs onto his shoulders and leans forward, stretching my hamstrings as he guides his cock to my ass.
“Is this what you want from me?” His eyes glitter as he presses forward. “Is this what you need?”
He pushes in deeper, and I groan at the stinging pressure, sweat dampening my spine as my sphincter slowly gives in. With my legs draped over his shoulders, I can’t control the depth of penetration, and he slides all the way in, filling me until my stomach churns and my breath comes in frantic, shallow gasps.
“I don’t…” I drag in a deeper breath, fighting a wave of dizziness. “I don’t understand.”
“Don’t you?” His mouth twists, a cruel gleam lighting his metallic gaze as he withdraws halfway, only to push back in. “Or is it that you just can’t say?”
The stinging burn is still there, the fullness as extreme as before, but as his thumb lands on my clit, a tantalizing tension drowns out the pain. His hips move slowly, his massive cock gliding deeper with each merciless stroke, and the orgasm begins to build, the pleasure different from before, stronger and darker, as agonizing as it is exquisite.
It’s too much, too intense, and I can hear myself begging and pleading, squirming as much as the restrictive position allows. But the cruel light stays in his eyes, his pace unchanged even as sweat droplets appear on his brow.
“Answer me,” he rasps out, leaning in to nearly fold me in half, and I scream as the pain sets off the spark, lighting the fire that consumes me. The ecstasy explodes through my nerve endings, my vision flooding with white light as I shut my eyes. The tingling chills race up and down my spine, the release careening through my body, making every muscle tremble and lock up.
I hear him groan above me and feel a warm throbbing deep inside. He’s coming too, I realize dazedly, and peel open my eyelids long enough to see the same agonizing pleasure twist his face.
Breathing heavily, he collapses on top of me, and we stay like that, our breaths synchronizing as we recover. My hamstrings feel like they might tear from the stretch, and my ass burns as his cock softens gradually inside it, but I don’t want to move.
I want to stay like this, my body joined with his forever.
“Yes,” I say quietly as he slowly lifts his head and pushes himself up to relieve some of the pressure on my legs. Our eyes meet, and a dark triumph kindles in his gaze as I repeat wearily, “Yes, it is.”
I understand his question now, and I know the terrifying answer. This is what I want from him—and it’s definitely what I need. Pain, punishment, force—I require that from him nearly as much as love and tenderness.
I need the total package, as messed up as that may be.
He reaches forward and frees my hands, then carefully withdraws from me and cleans me with a tissue. I close my eyes, too drained to move, and his strong arms slide under me, lifting me off the bed.
He carries me into the shower and washes me there, wiping off the smeared makeup, undoing all the intricate curls and waves in my updo. Then he wraps me in a towel and brings me to the living room, where he sits down on the couch, holding me cuddled on his lap.
I lay my head on his broad shoulder and place my palm over his heart, feeling the steady beat inside his muscled chest as he gently massages my nape, his strong fingers working out knots I didn’t even know were there.
“So tell me, then.” His voice is a soft, deep rumble underneath my ear. “Tell me why you nearly backed out today.”
“Because…” Because Ryson reminded me of the reality of things, made me feel lower than a slug—that’s what I start to say, but then I stop. It’s not a lie, but it’s not the full truth either. I was panicking before the agent’s visit, before he forced me to confront the ugly facts.
“Because why?” Peter prompts, pausing the massage.
“Because…” A knot forms in my throat as I squeeze my eyes shut, then open them, pulling back to meet his gaze. It’s time I stopped pretending and embraced the truth. Taking a breath, I say unsteadily, “Because you were right. Back in Japan, when you said that it’s too late for me, you were right.” It’s getting harder to force the words out, but I make myself continue. “It was too late then, and it’s definitely too late now. I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere along our jagged path, I fell in love with you. Only I—” I stop, my throat closing up completely.
His gray eyes soften, his hand resuming the light massage. “Only you what?”
“Only I can’t take it,” I confess, the words like rocks inside my vocal cords. “I need...” I stop, unable to voice it fully, but he understands.
“You need this.” He lifts his hand to stroke my cheek. “You need me to make it hurt sometimes, to take control and force you. To take away the other choices, so you can embrace the one you really want.”
I nod jerkily, equal parts ashamed and relieved. It’s wrong and cowardly of me, but in the context of all the other wrongness, it’s the one thing that feels right. Our relationship will never be like that of other people… because it shouldn’t exist at all. Torturer and victim, killer and his target’s widow—we’re as impossible together as any predator and prey, but because of Peter, we are here.