Deity (Covenant #3)(91)

“It’s not that I’m uncaring, Alex. It’s called strength.”

“No,” I whispered. “That has nothing to do with strength.”

Seth moved away from me, running his hand through his hair, pulling strands free from the leather tie. Had he always been like this? There had always been a degree of coldness to him, but nothing like this.

“It will be okay,” he said finally. “I promise. I’ll take care of you.”

“It’s not going to be okay. You have to let me go. We have to be apart from each other.”

“I can’t, Alex. Maybe in time you’ll forget about him and…”

“This isn’t about Aiden!”

Facing me, his lips twisted into a bitter, cynical smile. “It’s always about Aiden. You don’t care about the mortals. If you could still have him and let us have our way, you wouldn’t care.”

“I do care. You’re going to have to kill innocent people to do this, Seth. Can you seriously live with that? Because I can’t.”

“What pure is truly innocent?” he asked instead of answering my question.

“There are pures who don’t want to see halfs enslaved. And yeah, the gods are a bunch of dickheads, but that’s what they are.”

“We’ve already been over this, Alex. We aren’t going to agree. Not yet, at least. But your birthday is only days away. You’ll understand then.”

I gaped. “Seth, please listen to me!”

A cool mask slipped over his face, locking him down. “You don’t really get it, Alex. I can’t—won’t let you go.”

“Yes, you can! It’s quite simple. You just let me walk out of this house.”

Seth was in front of me within a second. He gripped my hands, pressing his palms against mine. “You don’t know what it feels like now, but you will. The more marks you take, the more akasha drains into me. Nothing—nothing feels like that. It’s pure power, Alex. And you haven’t even Awakened! Can you imagine what it will be like then?” His eyes took on that crazed, overly-passionate gleam I’d seen and disregarded before. “I can’t give that up.”

“Gods, do you hear yourself? You sound like a daimon craving aether.”

He smiled. “It’s nothing like that. It’s better.”

That was about when I realized that between Lucian’s influence and the allure of akasha Seth had been twisted into something dangerous. Apollo had been right. Dammit. Grandma Piperi had been right.

And I had been so, so wrong. I was in a precarious, bad position. Anything was possible and my heart rate doubled. I wanted to smack myself for not letting Apollo stash me away, but when he’d made that suggestion, all I could think was that was what Lucian had wanted to do. I was disgusted with myself for the time I’d wanted to throw the towel in. Running was not something I ever did.

But now I needed to run, because that was the only smart thing to do.

“I want you to leave my room.” I forced my knees to stop shaking and I stood. “Now.”

“I don’t want to leave,” he replied evenly.

My heart leapt into my throat. “Seth, I don’t want you in here.”

He cocked his head to the side, eyes heating up a notch. “Not too long ago you had no problem with me being in your bedroom… or your bed.”

“You have no right to be in here. You’re not my boyfriend.”

Seth’s brows flew up. “You speak as if what we are can be simplified with little labels. We aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend. You’re right about that.”

I pushed away from the bed, eyes desperately searching for a way out of the room. There was only a bathroom, closet, and one window. And my old dollhouse… what the hell was that still doing here? Perched atop the house was a creepy porcelain doll I’d hated as a child and still did.

Sneaking up behind me, he whispered in my ear. “We are the same person. We want and need the same things. You can love whoever you want and you can tell yourself whatever you want. We don’t have to love one another; we don’t even have to like each other. It doesn’t matter, Alex. We’re stuck with one another, and the connection between us is far stronger than whatever you feel in your heart.”

Whirling around, I put space between us. “No. This is it. I’m calling on that promise you made me. I don’t want to do this. You need to leave. I don’t care where you go. Just go—”

“I’m not leaving.”

Dread turned into something far worse and far more powerful. Fear snaked its way into me, biting deep and spreading through my veins like venom. “You promised me, Seth. You swore that you would leave if this became too much. You can’t take that back!”

His eyes met mine. “It’s too late for that. I’m sorry, but that promise is null and void. Things have changed.”


“Then I’ll leave.” I took in a deep breath, but it did nothing to calm the pounding in my chest. “You can’t keep me here! I don’t care that Lucian is my legal guardian.”

He tipped his head to the side, his stare becoming almost curious. “Do you think there is any place in this world that I couldn’t find you if I wanted to?”

“Gods, Seth, do you even know how stalkerish that sounds—how creepy?”