Defenseless (Salvation, #5)(65)

Luck is on my side. I’m able to get to the bike share. Someone is about to return one, but she takes a fifty dollar bill for the bike.

“Please, let this work,” I say aloud as I start to ride past the Reflecting Pool toward the center of town. My safe house is the only place I can go. The only place I can hide until I get a handle on things.

My pace is a little over leisurely but surely not racing. I need to blend. As I ride, Mark’s face flashes in my view. He was so angry when he left. The things he said. I remember how much love and trust was there before. How he and I shared so much in a brief time. I know that I’ll never see him again. He’s not the kind of man who will forgive what I said so easily, and I won’t exist after today.

I ride a little farther to the closest Metro station. I need to get underground. I try not to look around, because someone who wasn’t trying to run wouldn’t. I could still have a tail. It might not have worked, but I can’t risk it. My feet move me forward.

Of course. The train isn’t here. I don’t want to wait, but I don’t want to go back above ground, either. I let out a heavy breath. If I were an agent tracking another agent, I would approach before I stepped on the train. It makes the most sense since you can’t really risk the shuffle exchange. I assure myself that if I can get on board, I have a good shot.

The Metro starts to make its way. This is it.

Don’t draw any attention to yourself, Charlie. Look casual.

The doors slide open and passengers disembark. I step forward, praying this works. Two more steps.

One more step and I’m on my way.

I start to pass through the doors and someone grips my arm.

Fuck. I’m caught.





Mark

“I’m done with her,” I say to Natalie for the tenth time. “And just stop. She left, okay? I’m not going back up there with my nuts in a jar.”

Her eyes soften and she bites her lip. Then the little terrorist turns angry. “What’s wrong with you? Are you dumb? Blind? In need of someone to slap you? Because I’ll do it!” She huffs around the room, mumbling. “Idiot. I swear to God, I don’t know why I talk to any of you. Jackson, Liam, Quinn, and now you!”

“Are you pregnant again? You’re awfully hostile.”

“I’ll show you hostile!” she screams and throws a wad of paper at me.

“That wasn’t very nice. Why the hell do you care, anyway?”

Her horns are sprouting. “Why do I care?” she yells, more antagonistic than actually curious.

Since I got back from DC, she’s been relentless. This is what I get for texting people. Lee immediately called me, demanding I “fix this.” Telling me how people like Charlie don’t come into our lives every day. How when you have something that’s worth it, you have to go for it—like I told her and Jackson when they were making stupid choices. I love it when a woman throws shit in your face. It’s been a week since I heard from Charlie. Obviously, it’s not bothering her that we’re over.

“Lee.” I close my eyes. “I know you’re trying to help, but we’re done.”

“Because you’re an idiot.”

“Sure, we can go with that,” I placate her.

“Did you tell her you loved her?” she asks from the chair.

I look over at the leather seat by the window. Every day for the last few weeks that’s where she was. Going over file after file, writing down notes on things she wanted me to dig deeper on, but she’s no longer there.

“Mark?” Lee brings me back.

“Not in so many words.”

“Why?”

“Because I won’t lie to her.”

“But you’ll lie to yourself?”

I groan. I need new friends. I need a new life. Jackson and I haven’t signed anything. I’m glad I gave myself the out. This way, I can vanish and not worry. I can take the trips I’ve wanted to go on, surf in places I’ve only dreamed of. Maybe a break from everything is what I need.

“Did I care about her? Yes. Did I love her? I could’ve. But loving someone like Charlie isn’t exactly easy.” It’s more like sticking your hand into a lion’s cage and praying it doesn’t bite. Which it will, as she so graciously demonstrated.

“You know, if I remember correctly, there was this guy, let’s call him Matt.”

“Matt?”

“Go with it.”

I shrug. It’s her story.

“Matt is a great guy. He’s funny, charming, caring, would give you the shirt off his back, but Matt is kind of dumb when it comes to women. He’s the quintessential bachelor. Lives in this house off the beach, and it’s decorated in pizza boxes.”

“Matt sounds like my kind of guy.”

“Shut up,” she says while she gives me the evil eye. “Matt is a moron. Matt does dumb things. Matt doesn’t know how to be an adult. He’s doing everything right but missing out at the same time. Sure, he owns a house. Sure, he has a great job. Sure, he has amazing friends. To everyone else, it seems he has it all. But Matt is alone. Everything around him is superficial. The times that matter in life are spent with someone who sees through the superficial. They see you for who you are, and love you despite the flaws.” Natalie stands, walks over to where I am, and places her hand on my shoulder. “It’s time to fight for something worth fighting for. I’ve known you for a long time. I’ve seen you screw around and date, and then I saw you with her.”