Defending Zara (Mountain Mercenaries #6)(59)

“Yeah. I’m going to put a trace on Alan’s cell phone just to keep an eye on him . . . but you didn’t hear that from me,” Meat said.

Ball chuckled. “Hear what? Tell Zara that Everly and the others want to come over and spend some time with her soon.”

Zara lowered her eyes and studied her fingernails. She knew the guys’ women wanted to come over and hang out, but she just wasn’t sure she was ready for that. She didn’t know why, exactly. Though she was definitely a little intimidated by them. They seemed to be way out of her league, and she didn’t know how she’d relate to them.

“Will do. Thanks, Ball. I’ll talk to you soon,” Meat said.

“Later.”

Meat clicked off his phone. “Why don’t you want to meet the others?” he asked Zara as soon as he’d hung up.

Zara sighed. Figured he’d pick up on that. “I don’t know.”

“Can you try to explain it to me?” Meat pushed.

She glanced at him. There were so many things she hadn’t talked about. Would never talk about. But she needed Meat to understand. “For so long, all I had to rely on was myself. When I was about twelve, I did meet a boy around my age. I’d been watching him for a while, and it didn’t seem like he had any family, just like me. Eventually, I got up the nerve to approach him. We worked together for a short time. He would distract people on the street by break dancing—spinning around on his head and things like that—and when all the attention was on him, I’d walk through the crowd and pick their pockets. It was easy and exciting, and when we got back to the barrio, we’d split whatever I had stolen.

“Except that wasn’t enough for him. Eventually, he wanted more. Said that he was doing all the work and he deserved three-quarters of the loot. I’d felt safer and had more fun with him by my side, so I agreed. We’d been doing this scheme for a few months when I got caught. A man grabbed my wrist when I had my hand in his pocket and almost broke it. Lifted me right off my feet. I yelled for my friend to help me, but he took off running. Didn’t even look back.”

“How’d you get away?” Meat asked, his hand coming down to cover hers on the table.

Zara shrugged. “I kneed him in the balls, and he dropped me. My tailbone hurt for weeks after that, but I ran faster than I ever had before. Back to the barrio. I found my so-called friend and asked why he hadn’t stayed to help. He looked me straight in the eye and told me that I wasn’t worth getting into trouble for. That he was just using me to get money for his father.

“It shocked me. First, I had no idea he’d had a father. But second, I thought we were a team. That he was my friend. Us against the world and all that. He scoffed when I admitted as much, and said that he knew I’d get caught sooner or later because my Spanish was shitty and I was too scrawny and weak.”

“But that was a long time ago,” Meat said gently. “Allye and the others aren’t like that kid.”

Zara sighed. “That’s just one example, Meat. I don’t make friends easily. It’s hard for me to trust. Why would your friends’ women even want to know someone like me? I’m weird, an introvert, would rather sit by myself in a corner than try to smile and pretend I’m having fun when I’m not. I’m not that smart, I’m too outspoken, and I have nothing in common with them.”

“I think you’re doing them and yourself a disservice,” Meat said without any trace of irritation or exasperation in his tone. “Allye and the others have been through their own kinds of hell. They’d understand more than most how much you’ve been through. They won’t push for you to talk about anything you don’t want to, and they certainly wouldn’t want you to pretend to be someone you’re not around them.”

Zara shrugged. “Is this going to be an issue for you? I mean, if I don’t get along with them, does that mean we can’t be friends?”

“Of course not,” Meat said firmly.

“I’m not trying to upset you,” Zara said tentatively.

“I know you’re not.”

“And I also know this is me just being weird. It was hard for me to make friends in the barrio, and if for some reason me and your friends don’t hit it off, I know that’ll be hard on you . . . and that’s the last thing I want. I also know you’d never introduce me to people who would hurt me.”

“I wouldn’t,” Meat confirmed.

“And I want to meet them. But I feel like I’m just not ready. I need more time. That’s probably upsetting to you; it’s obvious you care about all of them a great deal.”

“I do. But I get it, Zar. You need to acclimate in your own time. And really, you’ve only been back in the States a little more than a week. Me forcing you to do something you aren’t ready for will only be harmful in the long run. The last thing I want is to push too hard and have it backfire on me. You can meet them when you’re ready. Okay?”

“Thanks. And for the record, I do want to get to know them, and let them know me. I miss my friends from the barrio, and I wouldn’t mind making new ones here.”

“You can never have too many friends,” Meat said with a smile.

“I’m glad you think that way . . . because I did get an email from someone in my past, and I want to meet up with her.”