Defending Zara (Mountain Mercenaries #6)(37)

“You said I could stay with you. I’d like that, if it’s still okay,” she told Meat.

He looked relieved, and that went a long way toward calming Zara. “Of course it’s okay. But remember, I’m not that exciting . . . I’d rather tinker with my computer or make furniture than go out.”

“He’s not kidding,” Ball said. “He’s not exactly Mr. Social.”

The others all started teasing Meat about his lack of social skills, but he didn’t take his gaze from hers. He was intense, but Zara couldn’t deny that she liked how he always seemed to know how she was feeling and what she was thinking. No one in her life, besides her parents all those years ago, seemed to understand her so deeply.

After a while, the guys got tired of picking on Meat and slowly began to disperse. Gray left first to go and call Allye and “talk” to his son. Arrow left next, saying he wanted to call his wife and make sure she was all right. Zara got the impression their marriage was recent, and Morgan wasn’t quite due yet, but apparently Arrow was extremely protective of her and their unborn child, taking any chance he could to check on them.

Before he left, he nudged the bags he’d dropped on the floor earlier and said, “If anything doesn’t fit, let me know and I’ll go find you something else.”

Zara had forgotten about the clothes he’d gotten for her. For now, she wasn’t all that interested in looking at what he might’ve bought. The T-shirt and sweats she was wearing were extremely comfortable, and since she had no intention of leaving this motel room until she absolutely had to, she was good with what she had on.

The others left not too long after Arrow, saying they’d touch base in the morning to see what the plan was for the day.

That left Zara and Meat alone once more.

“You tired?” he asked.

Zara nodded.

“I’ll sleep over here tonight. That bed is all yours,” he said with a tilt of his head toward the other bed. “But first . . .” His voice trailed off as he put aside his computer and turned to face her. He sat on the side of the bed, which put her head higher than his. He held his arms out and asked, “Now that I don’t smell like vomit anymore, how about that hug?”

He hadn’t forgotten. Zara didn’t know why she’d told him she hadn’t been hugged since she was a kid, but when he’d come out of the shower, she’d actually been looking forward to feeling his arms around her. Then his friends had arrived, and she’d figured he’d forgotten about it.

But looking down at him now, she realized he probably didn’t forget much.

Nodding shyly, she moved toward him. His legs were spread, giving her room to step between them. He scooted forward on the bed and slowly wrapped his arms around her waist.

Zara inhaled sharply when Meat laid his head on her chest.

She wasn’t sure where to put her hands, so she loosely wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Even though he was sitting, he seemed to surround her. She could feel the heat from his thighs against her own legs, and even his breaths warmed her chest as he breathed in and out. He felt so strong, smelled fresh and clean, and his hair was still a bit damp.

Closing her eyes, Zara lost herself in the gentle touch of another human being. It had been so long since she’d felt this way. Safe. Content.

Fifteen years ago, her life had taken a drastic turn, which had knocked her sideways. It felt as if she’d just gotten another jolt, but this time it was a positive change. Hopefully.

One of Meat’s thumbs gently and slowly caressed her back. Even through the cotton of her shirt, it felt like a brand. A good one.

Through some kind of miracle, Zara had managed to avoid being sexually assaulted. She’d lain low, pretending to be a boy, and had fooled just about everyone. She was a virgin in every sense of the word. Hadn’t kissed anyone, hadn’t been skin to skin with another person. Hadn’t even touched herself much.

She hadn’t missed it either. Hadn’t wanted to get involved with anyone. She’d been too concerned about finding food and shelter to even think about boys or sex.

But standing there with Meat’s arms around her, feeling safe, she thought about it for the first time ever.

What would it be like? How would it feel to have Meat’s hands on her without anything between his skin and hers? Would he be disgusted by her breasts? Was she too lean, too boyish?

Zara was still feeling confused and unsure when Meat pulled back. His large hands rested on her hips, fingers almost spanning her entire waist.

She didn’t understand why she was having these feelings now. Was it because he was helping her? Because she saw him as some sort of savior? She knew he was a good man. She was usually an expert at knowing innately who was good and who wasn’t just by looking at them, but her radar could be broken because he’d been treating her so nicely. Maybe the hot shower, food, and shelter had swayed her, kept her from seeing his dangerous side.

As if he could tell she was panicking, Meat gently pushed her back a step and took his hands from her body. He shifted onto the bed and picked up his laptop. Without looking at her, he said, “Go on and climb into bed over there. I’m going to stay up and see what else I can find out about you and your family. We’ll talk in the morning, Zara.”

Feeling strangely bereft, and ashamed of her thoughts about Meat, Zara merely nodded and headed over to the other bed. She crawled under the clean sheets and lay stiff as a board. She’d offended him, and that hadn’t been her intention. She’d just been unclear for a second about his motives. But she realized now he hadn’t had any motives. He’d merely wanted a hug, and she’d somehow fucked that up.