Defending Morgan (Mountain Mercenaries #3)(64)
They’d argued about how much Morgan spoke with her mom, and in the end, Morgan had agreed to only talk to Ellie twice a week, and he’d agreed to not complain about the woman.
Morgan was researching what it would take to start up her bee-and-honey business in Colorado, and Arrow had begun the process of looking for a house and property so she could have the bees she loved so much. Her landlord back in Atlanta had rented her home to someone else when she hadn’t returned after several months. Her dad had packed her things up and put them in storage.
Arrow hadn’t told her that he’d started looking for a piece of land that would work for her business, deciding that things needed to settle first. Once she figured out what she needed to do to get her business back up and running again, he’d talk to her about living arrangements.
They’d been sleeping in his bed every night since his tires had been slashed. At first it had been awkward for both of them. For Arrow, because he’d never actually had a woman spend the entire night in his bed, and for Morgan because of her abduction.
But after that first night, things had seemed . . . right. Arrow wore a pair of cotton sleep pants to bed, and she wore a tank top and boy shorts. She was absolutely gorgeous, gaining weight slowly and in all the right places. Arrow went to bed and woke up with a hard-on every night and day. But he’d suffer through a million hard-ons before moving one step in a direction she wasn’t yet ready to go in.
And she definitely wasn’t ready to go there.
Arrow knew it as easily as he knew his name.
It was five thirty on the sixth morning after they’d begun sleeping in the same bed together, and Arrow woke with Morgan wrapped around him. She clung to him from the second she climbed into bed until she woke up. She held on to him as if he’d disappear if she didn’t.
He loved having her close, but it was also torture. Her leg was hitched up over his lap, pressing against his cock. Her breaths were slow and even, and every time she exhaled, he felt her warm breath waft over his chest. His nipples were puckered into little points. If she moved her head a fraction of an inch, she could take one of those nipples into her mouth.
The thought was intoxicating, and he couldn’t help but close his eyes and fantasize about her moving over him. Down his chest to his pants, pulling them down over his engorged dick and taking him into her mouth. She’d look up at him coyly as she slurped and sucked.
He came back to reality when he felt Morgan stiffen against him.
Opening his eyes, he looked into hers and saw she was staring at him with trepidation. She was stiff as a board against him, as if she was scared to move a muscle.
“Morning,” he said easily.
“Good morning,” she returned carefully.
Arrow wanted to punch someone in his frustration. She’d come a really long way in her recovery. He knew she wouldn’t ever be the same as she was before she’d been kidnapped, but he hated seeing her scared of him.
“You’re safe with me,” he said softly. “I’d never do anything that caused you pain.”
At his words, she relaxed against him once more. “I know,” she mumbled, dropping her eyes. “I just . . . I woke up and felt your . . . you against my leg, and it threw me back there for a second.”
“I figured that’s what happened. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” she said with heat. “I hate that I can’t show you how much I like having you here with me. That I can’t be normal with you.”
“What’s normal, anyway?” Arrow said lightly. “Normal is what we make it.”
“I want to be able to wake up and not immediately freeze, thinking I’m back there, and wonder if today’s the day they’ll kill me after they take what they want. I want to be able to wake up with my boyfriend’s mouth on my body and not think about what they took from me without permission so many times. I want to be able to get lost in your touch, not flinch because it reminds me of them.”
“You will,” Arrow said, keeping the fury from his tone by sheer force of will.
“When? By the time I don’t think of them every second of every day, I’m afraid you’ll have gotten sick of waiting for me. I’m afraid of losing you before I’ve even really had you.”
Arrow couldn’t stop himself from pulling her on top of him, making sure to pull her up so she was straddling his stomach instead of his lap. The last thing she needed was his cock pressing against her pussy.
“You will never lose me,” he said firmly. “I am not going to get sick of waiting for you. There’s no timetable on recovery from rape. You know that. As I told you when we were talking with your therapist, I’m in this for the long haul. I will never force you, beautiful. Whatever you choose to give me, whenever you choose to give it, is up to you. I’ll spend every day making you feel safe again. Inside this apartment, in this bed, and even out in the real world. Your safe place will be right here, in my arms. Whatever happens out there has no effect on my feelings for you. I love you, Morgan. You’re it for me.”
Tears fell from her eyes as she stared down at him.
He used his thumbs to wipe them away from her cheeks before pulling her down so she was resting on his chest. He said nothing else, feeling helpless as she sobbed. All he could do was hold her and rub her back. He didn’t tell her not to cry. He didn’t tell her everything would be all right. He just held her tightly, trying to tell her without words that he was there for her, and he always would be.