Deep (Pagano Family #4)(36)

He set his now-empty plate aside. “Okay. You have shitty taste in men, and you refuse to see that. Over and over, you end up with the bad boy, just f*cking determined to find their heart of gold. How many guys have you dated since we’ve been friends?”

Bev glared at him, not bothering to do the math. A few.

When she didn’t answer, he did. “Five. Counting the guy you were getting over when we met, six. I’ve been there every time to get you back on your feet. Every-f*cking-one of them treated you like shit, and you took it, trying to see the good, trying to make that little sliver of good the main thing about them. And every-f*cking-one of them hurt you. They dumped you, or they cheated on you practically in your face until you finally wised up and left—and shit, then there’s Greg.”

“Don’t, Chris. I get it.” She set her half-eaten pie away, no longer hungry at all.

“No, you don’t. You wanted me to just say it, so here it is: Greg. He was such a bad boy he beat you up. And even that wasn’t enough for you to get it. He had to do it again before you’d leave him. And then he stalked you. You dumped out your whole life to get away from him. And now, the next guy you exhibit any interest in is a f*cking mobster—who got you blown up before he even banged you. And still you want to be with him. Bevvie, I love you. I really love you. But on this point, you are a stupid twat.”

Shocked at his words, she jumped off the stool and tried to storm past him. She was going to cry, and she didn’t want him to see how much he’d hurt her. The betrayal she felt was thick and acrid around her.

He grabbed her arm as she tried to pass. “Bev. There are good guys. Guys with their heart of gold right out on their sleeve. Guys who’ll treat you like the treasure you are. They’re all around you. They’re right in front of you. You just need to open your eyes.”

“Let go of me.” She managed to keep her voice steady all the way until the last word. He let her go, and she fled the shop, not even stopping to tell Donnie it was time to go. But he was up and following her right away.



oOo



As soon as the elevator opened, Bev pushed through, going ahead of Donnie, even though she knew he wanted to be out front. She just wanted to get to her apartment and be alone, where she could cry in peace and solitude.

The new big guy who had taken Jimmy’s place guarding Nick was standing in the middle of the hallway with his back to her, blocking her passage. Pulling up a little and preparing to ask him to excuse her, she realized that Nick’s door was open. And then, as she stepped to the far side, she caught a glimpse of blonde hair. She couldn’t see much more around the guard, but she looked at the hall floor—two female feet in high, fancy pumps.



Fuck. The girlfriend. The one he’d said he didn’t have anymore.

She watched those feet walk toward Nick’s door and then in. His bodyguard turned and shifted, his hand coming up to his waist and then relaxing, when he recognized her. He made room for her, and she went on, trying not to look. But she couldn’t help one glance.

As Nick closed his door, with the girlfriend in there with him, his eyes met hers.

It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. She and Nick had nothing going on between them but bad luck. It didn’t matter that he’d lied to her, because he didn’t matter. He was weightless.

She went down to her apartment. Donnie had her keys, so she waited until he unlocked her door, then she snatched her keys from him, pushed past him, and locked him out.

Rubbing her left thumb over the feathers inked into her right wrist, a gesture to find calm in stormy seas, Bev went to her bedroom and changed her clothes. Once she was in comfortable yoga pants and a tank, she lit an incense stick, sat lotus on the floor in her pretty, soft room, and tried to meditate.

Before she could, though, she needed to cry. So she put her hands to her face and did that.





9



Nick let go of Vanessa’s arm and looked at Sam. “Make sure she gets off safely. Donnie’s got this floor until you get back.”

“Okay, boss.” He took Vanessa’s arm himself. But she turned back. Her mascara was smeared. All he could think of was how ugly it made her.

“Nick, I—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell and say those things. I would never do…I just feel crazy. You blew me off, and then I saw that picture of you and…and I just went crazy.”

Crazy, stupid, not much of a difference where women were concerned, he thought. He had seen too much of the damage created by women who’d been scorned, or who’d simply thought they’d been, to be surprised by their capacity for colossal stupidity, but he would never understand it.

“Go. Go home. I’ll see to it your phone is replaced. But if I see you again, or if you cause me any kind of a ripple, you will have much bigger concerns than a broken phone.”

She nodded, and Sam pulled her forward. As they went, she looked back again. “Nick—I love you, baby.”

He f*cking hated to be called ‘baby.’ He closed his door.

He’d thought maybe he’d gotten clear of Vanessa without drama. Wrong. And Beverly had seen her. That bothered him a lot, but he wasn’t sure it should. He had decided to keep his distance. Maybe it was a good thing that she’d seen what she had.

Fuck. He needed a drink. It was still early afternoon, but his workday was, hopefully, done. Or, at least, he could handle the rest from home. He was still getting confirmation on the security for Jimmy’s funeral tomorrow. And he was waiting on some security footage from Neon. He expected to find that either Matty or Chi-Chi had done some extracurricular work Friday night.