Deep (Pagano Family #4)(107)



But his life was complicated, and being who he was still held him a bit apart. Beverly was the nexus between him and his cousins, but she was raising three daughters under the age of five, as well as running a business. There wasn’t a lot of time to be social. Though Katrynn Page was an excellent manager for the bookshop and was in charge of the day-to-day operations, Beverly still put in at least twenty hours a week there. Or she did when she wasn’t serving as a round-the-clock milk machine.

She was nursing Carina now, sitting at the table, the baby in her sling. Nick hated the pale skin and dark circles she’d camouflaged with makeup. He didn’t think she was fooling anyone. Certainly not him.

Nick turned to his mother. “I’m sending Sam out for formula. If you’re sure you’re up to it, and if you have help, the girls can stay with you tonight. Carina, too.”

She answered him with a teary hug.

He didn’t think his wife would give him a similar response, but it was time to take care of her, whether she liked it or not.

oOo



“I should call.”

Nick took the phone out of Beverly’s hand. “No, bella. You should relax.” He turned her phone off and tucked it in his pocket.

“What if she doesn’t eat? What if the formula makes her sick?”

Aside from this anxiety, Beverly had barely protested Nick’s decision at all—and that, honestly, alarmed him. She’d made a minor fuss about him laying down the law and not giving her a choice, but she’d been obviously relieved, almost to the point of tears. She would never have made a choice that she thought foregrounded herself over her child, and he knew that—which was why he’d made the choice for her—but she had been on her way to a collapse.

He pulled her into his arms. “Ma will call me if there’s any trouble at all. We live three minutes away. But there won’t be any trouble. Elisa and Lia are having a sleepover with their cousins, and they’re elated. Carina is going to get a whole night of Nonna snuggles. Everyone will be well and happy. For the rest of the afternoon, and for the full night, you are going to relax. You’re going to eat a meal with both hands free, and you’re going to sleep in my arms for the entire night. Carina will be fine. Millions of babies for generations have had formula without incident. I was a formula baby, and look how well I turned out.”

Her head on his chest, Beverly nodded. And then she whispered, “I’m so tired,” and began to cry.

Nick swept her into his arms and carried her up to bed. Cuddles followed behind them, his wagging tail hitting the wall as they went down the hallway.



oOo



She slept for five hours. Nick held her all the while, dozing a little himself, but otherwise letting his mind wander where it would. It was peaceful, and Nick was content. It felt like a fitting end to the day on which his uncle, for whom family had been everything, had been buried.

Beverly woke when her breasts were full, and while she expressed—refreshed and buzzing happily about finally having some in reserve—Nick took the dog out and then called in a late take-out order to the Red Dragon. A grunt picked it up and delivered it, and Nick took it upstairs. They ate in bed, and then, after some time spent stressing about Carina and how she was doing, Beverly slept again. In all, she slept sixteen of the twenty hours they had without their girls, and Nick stayed at her side.

When Nick collected his daughters and brought them home the next day, he brought with him the news that Carina had gone three and four hours between every bottle feeding. Then he held Beverly while she dealt with that information and wept at the thought that she had been failing her baby. Once she worked through that absurdity, she agreed to continue supplementing with formula.

The rest of the week seemed to augur a return to brighter times. Both Beverly and Carina were resting better. Elisa and Lia got their mamma back. And Nick finally got some real time of his own with his new baby girl. Until then, she’d been so firmly tethered to her mother he could hardly get his hands on her.

He stayed home as much as he could that week, until home had settled back into balance. But the period of mourning was over, and it was time to return to business. So just less than a week after his uncle’s funeral, Nick slid into a navy blue Armani suit, straightened his French cuffs, kissed his wife and daughters, scratched behind the dog’s ears, promised to be home for dinner, and returned to Pagano Brothers Shipping.

Though both Pagano brothers were in the ground now, Nick gave no thought to the idea of changing the name of the business or the organization. Ben and Lorrie had taken the business over from their father and built the name to its full power. As long as there was a Pagano at the helm, they would be known as the Pagano Brothers.

As always, Sam drove him, dropping him off at the door and then parking at the far end of the lot.

The receptionist stood when he came through the door. “Good morning, Don Pagano.” She’d been working there for three years, but today she seemed nervous.

“Good morning, Cherie. You don’t have to stand, sweetheart. A greeting is fine.”

She blushed and nodded. “Yes, sir. Stephanie has the day off today—it’s her birthday—so I have your book.”

“Right. That’s fine. Just let me know of any changes.”

“Yes, sir.” She nodded to the waiting area. “Your first appointment was early.”

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