Deep (Chicago Underground #8)(16)

“What’s that from?” I asked, pointing to the necklace.

“None of your business,” he said without missing a beat, stone cold.

I didn’t flinch. I was proud of that much, at least. Of course I knew he didn’t owe me an answer, but a few hours ago he had been hard between my legs—it was a chilling reminder how little that meant in the world.

I took the first-aid box and pulled out the last few butterfly bandages. The task was just a distraction. I didn’t meet his eyes while I smoothed the tiny strips of white into place over gashed, bloodstained skin.

“Will you be safe?” I asked softly, still looking at the wound.

“Of course,” he said, sounding surprised. Though I wasn’t sure if he was surprised because I cared or because I had ever doubted his ability to defend himself. There was a time I wouldn’t have doubted it. As a scared teenage girl on the run, he had seemed like some kind of god, invincible and capricious.

He hadn’t been a god last night.

He had been raw and wild and vulnerable. A man.

I already knew I would never forget the fear I’d felt for him, finding him leaning against my door and bleeding. I would never forget how he made me feel with his hands on my hips and his cock a hot pulsing presence against my sex. He made me feel like a woman.

A woman strong enough to ask the question we’d been avoiding. I straightened and forced myself to meet his cold, challenging gaze. “If it’s safe there, why did you come here?”

His eyes were an unfathomable well, too deep and dark to see beneath the surface. “I’m always here. Wherever you go, I follow. Watching you, waiting for you. Wanting you. The only difference is last night—I didn’t leave.”





Chapter Fourteen

HIS WORDS FELL like bombs in my chest, igniting years of doubt and denial. It should have been a childish crush, my love for a man fifteen years older. For a criminal with enemies all over the city.

It had always been more than a crush.

And if he felt the same for me… God, my heart. It didn’t feel like relief—not the visceral bodily sigh of pleasure from last night. No, this was a minefield being set off all at once. This was destruction.

How could I let him walk away, knowing he’d wanted me all this time?

But how could I go with him and leave my entire life, my entire future behind?

He solved my dilemma with a half-smile and a tap of my nose with his forefinger. It was the way an adult would treat a child, a return to our roles within this little play. It was a reminder that he had never asked me to go with him, so it wasn’t like I even had a choice.

“Don’t worry about me,” he said.

“You aren’t invincible.” I ran my hand over his side, an inch away so I didn’t touch his injury. The whole area radiated intense heat, as if the destruction and fire came from within. As if the violence had always existed inside him, just waiting to get out.

“I’m going to die one day, kitten. And I don’t want you to mourn me.”

The thought of his fierce light going out made my heart clench. “That’s not up to you.”

“Isn’t it?” His expression darkened. “Everyone in this city does what I tell them to. You should listen if you know what’s good for you.”

“Did the person who did this listen to you?”

Philip’s expression was grim. “He didn’t live to regret it.”

I snatched my hand back, burned. A killer. That was what Philip was. Of course, if the person had been hurting him, it would count as self-defense. Somehow I doubted Philip was innocent in the whole thing, though. I couldn’t straighten out the tangled-vine morality of bad men doing bad things to each other. That wasn’t for me. He wasn’t for me.

“Well,” I managed to say, my voice uneven, “then I’m sure you’ll be perfectly safe now that he’s gone.”

That was a lie, and we both knew it. There would always be men lurking, waiting to take Philip down. It was a parting shot, because once he left, I doubted I’d ever see him again. This night would feel like a dark dream, much like the days hidden away in his house felt now. I’d fallen down the rabbit hole and somehow found my way out.

I didn’t think I’d be so lucky a second time.

His voice sounded hollow as he echoed me, “Perfectly.”

My heart twisted. Our relationship may have been frozen in the wasteland of impossible dreams, but I still cared about him. I still needed him to be safe.

The shrill of the phone made me jump. I wasn’t sure I had ever heard the landline ring before. Mostly I used my cell phone. The beige plastic phone attached to the wall came with the room.

Philip must have seen the trepidation on my face. “You expecting a call?” he asked.

I shook my head. Why would someone be calling now, right when I had a big, dangerous, wounded man in my room…unless it was about him?

“Answer it,” Philip said softly, no mercy in his gaze.

This was one of those moments with the earth shifting beneath me, splitting apart right under my feet. Like finding out my parents had adopted me. Like meeting Philip and discovering the dark side of myself. This was one of those times when I knew everything was about to change—had already changed, and I was just going to find out how.

“Hello?” I said, my voice strangely normal.