Deception (Infidelity #3)(63)

The ruling could come down as early as tomorrow. I’d planned to stay in DC and face the committee as they justified their decision.

I’d like to say that I was confident the committee would call for the rewording of the bill, and that they would back our side—the side of Senator Carroll and others who understood the future ramifications in store in the event of overtaxation of domestic businesses.

I couldn’t.

I didn’t trust Higgins, Davis, or the swing votes.

Nevertheless, I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my time on the chance that my presence in the hearing room would turn the tide.

It may have taken me years and obvious failure, but I had a new priority. After listening to Charli’s voice, full of emotion and confusion, as she told me about her cryptic conversation with Chelsea, I knew my presence in New York was more important.

As she spoke, I heard the distraught voice of Jo. I recalled how my days and nights of traveling upset her. Despite the experience of my childhood, seeing my mother’s disappointment and sadness when my father would choose work over her, I’d done the same thing.

I had been responsible for putting the same sadness in my wife’s eyes that I’d witnessed as a young child, and na?vely, I hadn’t made the connection. At that time, I’d believed my work superseded all else—Demetri Enterprises needed me. Just like the company had needed my father. Unwittingly, I’d fallen into Oren’s footsteps, wearing the same shoes and making the same mistakes.

Of course, back then, I hadn’t seen my choices as mistakes. After all, I’d been told and conditioned to believe that real men didn’t make mistakes. Every action and decision was a conscious choice. Everything had a purpose.

Like he was in so many other things, my father was wrong about that.

Real men did make mistakes. We made decisions for the right reasons, to accomplish the right outcomes, that in the end harmed others—ones we loved. Even though our choices weren’t made with malice, that didn’t lessen the pain they inflicted.

The real lesson, the one my father forgot to teach me—or maybe one he never learned—was that it wasn’t about making mistakes. They were part of life. It was about repeating them. That was where the real men became separated from lesser men.

Character wasn’t about perfection. It was about wisdom and the ability to learn and change.

If I were to talk to Oren, my father would tell me to stay in Washington and face the committee as they read the ruling. I could hear his voice echoing in my head. I’d followed that advice in the past. If I chose to do that again, I was the one who hadn’t learned. I’d made that mistake before. I didn’t intend to make it again.

That was why, late Thursday night—or very early Friday morning—essentially, a day before I was meant to be back in New York, I was riding the elevator to Patrick’s apartment, to the woman I loved. In her voice I heard her pain and holding her in my arms would trump Demetri Enterprises every time.

As I rode upward, my mind drifted to Jocelyn. Since Charli, I found myself thinking of my first wife with more appreciation and less sadness. With each day, the guilt over her death lessened as the gratitude for the time we shared strengthened. Jocelyn and I had both been so young. Fresh out of grad school, we thought we had all the answers when in reality we had much to learn.

I was ambitious and strived to show not only Oren, but also the world what I could accomplish. In that process, I’d neglected her. I’d pushed her to fight for my attention, causing me to do what no husband should do.

I’d reacted instead of responded.

I’d failed her.

Her death would forever be on my hands and my heart, but maybe, with Charli beside me, I could rise above it. Maybe Jo could smile down and wish me the happiness that since her death I’d deemed myself unworthy of having.

In the quiet elevator, I said a silent thank-you. “Thank you, Jo, for showing me the man I should be. You’ll always be part of me. I’m sorry that I wasn’t that man for you.” I hung my head, keeping tears at bay. “I’ll always regret the consequences of my decisions.” I took a deep breath. “But in the end, because of you, I know that I’ll do everything possible not to let that happen again.”

As the doors opened, I blinked away the past.

The corridor was quiet since it was after midnight. I had no intention of waking the entire floor; however, I knew that Charli was here. She didn’t know I was coming, and since landing, I’d been unable to reach her. That didn’t matter. When she didn’t answer, I checked the new app Deloris had installed on my phone. The GPS tracker in Charli’s new necklace indicated that she was in Patrick’s apartment. A quick call to Clayton confirmed her location.

It did my heart and mind good to know that she was still where she’d promised she would be. That was one of the many things I loved about Charli. She was young, but she wasn’t immature. She didn’t play games. She knew how important it was to me to know that she was safe. Even when she’d walked out of the apartment, she’d gone with Jerrod.

She’d also given me the opportunity to explain. I’d been the one who needed time. I still needed time, and thankfully, being the amazing woman she was, Charli was giving it to me.

If I were completely honest with myself, I understood Charli’s desire to be with her cousin. After everything that had happened in the last few days, she didn’t want to be alone in our apartment, the place where someone—someone she’d trusted, someone I’d told her she could trust—had betrayed her. Betrayed us. If being with Patrick gave her the comfort she needed, then that was where she should be.