Dating Games(66)

“Have you thought of me?”

“Y-yes,” I stammer, squeezing my legs together as pressure slowly builds inside me, on the brink of bubbling over. I fear if it’s not released, I’ll explode into a vibrant show more brilliant than the fireworks in the sky.

He runs his hands along my stomach, my muscles clenching. With each journey north, he retreats with a path traveling farther south. He presses me into the ledge, shielding curious onlookers from noticing when he dips his hand into the slit of my dress.

“Have you thought of me during one of your dates with your so-called Mr. Winky?”

Normally I’d giggle at the sound of anyone else calling my battery-operated boyfriend by his name. But I’m too turned on to find humor in anything right now. Instead, all I can do is answer truthfully.

“Yes.”

“When was the last time?”

“Last night.”

“Fuck.” His grip on me tightens. The warmth of his hand brushing against the waist of my panties causes my breathing to increase, my chest to heave at the promise of what’s to come. “Is this okay?”

“Yes.” I adjust my stance, parting my legs slightly, signaling him with my body how much I want this. Chloe and Nora have done the no-strings thing. I can do that, too. I hope. “God, yes.”

When he slips his hand beneath the line of my panties, I grip the ledge harder, my jaw clenching as I do everything in my power not to draw attention to us.

“Is this okay?” he asks once more as his fingers leisurely make their way farther south.

“Yes.” I’m no longer standing on the verandah of a ridiculously opulent mansion in the Hamptons overlooking the ocean as we watch an excessive fireworks display. I’m flying, the ground nothing but a speck of dust.

He groans again as he brushes his fingers against my skin. “He really did make you get waxed, didn’t he?”

“He did.”

When he grazes my center, I whimper, in another place, another time, another universe. “Is this okay?”

“Yes.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

His touch becomes firm as he explores me, this entire experience completely out of character for me. Or maybe it’s simply because my ex never would have so much as entertained the idea of doing something like this in public. I think that’s what makes it even more exciting. The notion that, at any moment, someone could look our way and realize what’s going on. But they don’t, everyone too immersed in the fireworks, the musical accompaniment being piped in through the sound system loud enough to drown out my pants and pleas for more.

“Guinevere,” he growls as he explores me with more intensity, pushing one finger inside before adding another. “Did Trevor ever turn you on like this?”

“No.” It’s the truth. Never. Not once. There was no spontaneity with him. I thought I liked that. I knew when we’d be having sex. I knew what position we’d be in. I’m starting to think that certain things can’t be planned.

“I love that I do this to you. Because you have no idea how fucking hard I am right now. How hard I get every time I think of you. You do it for me. And this isn’t me saying it as part of our game. This is me saying it because it’s true. I’m starved for you.”

“Oh god.” My eyes roll into the back of my head as the thunder of fireworks becomes more and more fevered. I was right. Julian is a damn good dirty talker. I’m pretty sure I could come from his words alone. Add in how expertly he massages me and brushes his thumb on my clit and I soon climax in time with the grand finale of the fireworks display, screaming out in utter bliss as applause and cheers fill the air.

Every inch of me trembling, I struggle to make sense out of what just happened, how I should feel about it when I desperately wanted to keep the lines from being blurred. Not only did I just blur them, I pretty much eviscerated them, all because I got swept up in the moment.

“Don’t,” he rumbles into my ear as he removes his hand, adjusting my dress to hide our indiscretions. I stare forward, my mind racing, chest heaving. “Don’t think this is anything more than what it is — two consenting adults enjoying each other’s company.”

I nod subtly, swallowing hard. How does he know my thoughts are currently clouded with guilt and embarrassment over what we’d just done, how easily I’d allowed him to touch me like that when only one man has in over a decade? I haven’t even been single a full month, yet am already spreading my legs for someone else, a relative stranger. Granted, Trevor doesn’t seem to be bothered by the idea of being with someone new so soon, but it feels…wrong.

“You deserve to feel beautiful, to feel desired, to feel adored. That’s all I wanted. Okay?”

I turn around, locking eyes with him, his expression a mixture of hunger and remorse, a near mirror image of the war currently battling inside my own heart. How can I tell him I want him, but with every second we spend together, the harder it will be to walk away from him at the end of the summer? That if he keeps touching me like that he’ll ruin me for all the men who come after him? And there will be men who come after him. He made sure of that. We both did.

“The ball’s in your court, Guinevere. If you want to explore this connection further, I’m more than willing. If you’re not comfortable with having a strictly physical relationship, I understand that, as well. Just know that I am insanely attracted to you. And I will be no matter what you choose.”