Dating Dr. Dil (If Shakespeare was an Auntie #1)(93)

“Mom!”

She flicked a hand at him again like he was a gnat, and a small puff of flour clouded the air at the end of her fingertips. “Everyone hated her. It’s fine.”

“You and Dad are like polar opposites, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say ‘I love you’ to each other. What makes you stay together? Convenience? Me? The community?”

This time, his mother flipped off the stovetop and turned a full ninety degrees to look at him. “Love! And I do say it. Every day.”

Prem snorted. “No, you do not. I’ve never heard those words from you before. Not to Dad, not to me, not even to the extended family.”

“That’s because I don’t say them with my mouth. I feed you your favorites, I put your Superman socks in the dryer so when you get out of the shower they’re toasty warm—”

“No,” he said, cutting her off for a second time. “Not actions. The words. Why haven’t you ever said them?”

His mother turned back to her parantha and began rolling out the stuffed dough. He waited, watching as her hands moved quickly, but she took the time to gather her thoughts. “Sometimes,” she started quietly, “the words are hard to say, because you’re so scared that something will happen to the person you care about if you say them. And the longer you go without saying them, the easier it is. Our parents never said the words, and honestly, we never did either because it was more comfortable for us to just show you.”

Her words rocked Prem to his core. He moved to the closest counter stool and sat.

That was exactly it. His heart, bruised and sore, ached as he first thought of Gori, and how hard it was for him to survive her death. How could he possibly survive losing Kareena?

“Words are important to her,” Prem finally said.

“Do you love her, my beta?” His mother added oil to the pan.

It took a moment for Prem to respond, even though he didn’t have to look her in the eye to say it since she was busy at his stove. “Rina’s what’s been missing, what I’ve been waiting for. From the moment I saw her at Bunty’s restaurant. It’s as if my center of gravity shifted.”

His mother flipped the parantha onto the skillet and wiped her hands on a dish towel she’d pulled from his drawer. “Darling, there are no guarantees in life, but if you feel love for her, don’t you think she deserves to hear the truth? Communication. You’re always talking about how important communication and honesty are for healthy relationships. Think of this as communicating and being honest.”

Prem rubbed at his still aching head. “The words won’t come out. At the engagement party, I just stood there while she cried, and I felt like the biggest asshole, Mom. All because I was so worried that if I told her, maybe it’ll stop. And maybe she’d leave when it’s over. Maybe all the things I’ve always thought were true would happen to me again. After Gori—”

“Darling, your circumstances with Gori were different. You can’t compare your past with your future.”

“I know, but Rina could get sick or bored and I’d be left with these words that I’ve said, and old memories.”

“Hai bhagawan,” his mother called out as she tilted her head back to look at the ceiling. “How did I raise such a scared child?”

“Gee, thanks. I’ll send you my next therapy bill.”

His mother ignored him. “Saying what you feel out loud doesn’t stop those feelings. If anything, your love will only grow.” She filled the beautifully made parantha and smiled. Her happy lines around her mouth winked at him. “I have so much love now after years of marriage. I may not say it, but I wake up every day grateful for it.”

Prem sat in silence and watched as she grabbed a plate from his cabinet, put a chunk of mango pickle on the edge, a blob of butter, and then a second blob on top of the parantha still on the tava.

“You know,” she started as she put the parantha on his plate, “I can’t wait to meet Kareena. She must be something special. She was ready to sacrifice her feelings just to be with my son!”

“She’s definitely something special.” But Prem had no idea if she still felt the same way now after what he’d put her through. It was as if his mother had flipped on a light switch, and the idea of loving someone felt so much more comfortable than it did before.

Prem’s mother slid the plate in front of him, and he smelled the delicious spiced potatoes, the tart mango pickle, and the richness of the butter.

“Hey, Mom?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

He saw her flush. “I love you, too. Now what are you going to do with my bahu?”

“If you keep calling her daughter-in-law, you’re going to jinx me. Right now, I have to convince her to hear me out.”

“Are you ready to plan a wedding and move to the suburbs?” his mother asked.

“Yes.” The word was out of his mouth before he could stop and think about it. Yes. There was no one else who made him feel, that made him want that kind of future, like Kareena.

The front door burst open, and Deepak and Bunty barreled in carrying paper bags filled with what looked like vegetables. “We found a farmers’ market,” Bunty said, shaking one of the bags. He had the biggest grin on his face. “The veggies in season were superb.”