Dating Dr. Dil (If Shakespeare was an Auntie #1)(87)

Dadi yelped from the front entrance. “The aunties are coming, and the caterers are still setting up in the next room over! Kareena, I’m going to check the food, you stay here and tell the aunties where their table is.”

Veera was still holding her hand. “I’ll wait with you.”

Kareena shook her head. “No, you go. I’ll be fine. I’m going to be happy.”

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her eyes sparkling. “But I love you. Bobbi loves you. And your mom loves you. No matter what you decide for the house, you’re going to be okay.”

“I hope so,” she whispered back.

Kareena swallowed her tears, her warring thoughts, as she stood in position.

The DJ changed the music to a basic Punjabi dhol beat and like slow motion, Kareena watched her four aunties enter side by side. Farah Aunty flipped her hair, Sonali Aunty checked the little mirror in the flap of her purse, Falguni Aunty adjusted her chunni on her shoulder, and Mona Aunty straightened the bracelets on her wrist.

Farah Aunty approached her first. “Beta! Don’t you look stunning. Just like your mother.”

“Well, isn’t that just the nicest compliment,” Kareena said as she hugged Farah Aunty back. Sonali Aunty was next, who did the customary hello, hi, how are you. Then Mona Aunty, who gave Kareena air kisses.

“Darling, you’ve gotten so good at eyeliner!” Mona Aunty said. “And to think when I taught you all those years ago, you would poke yourself in the eyeball.”

“Practice does make perfect, Aunty.”

Falguni Aunty squeezed her hand, her smile fading. “Are you okay, beta?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

Her smile didn’t reach her eyes, but she patted Kareena’s arm. “It’s just something that I heard. I wanted to make sure that it was just a rumor.”

“Excuse me?”

“Falguni, what rumor?” Farah Aunty asked. Her red lips pursed. “We rode here together, and you didn’t say a thing.”

“Mind your business, Farah. It’s just a little something between me and Kareena.”

Kareena had no idea what Falguni Aunty was talking about, so she just nodded her head.

Dadi came waddling back into the hall, gripping her sari pleats in one hand and her dupatta end in the other. “Oye! They’re coming. Be on your best behavior!”

The front doors opened with a rush of wind. Kareena’s hair flitted around her face like she was the heroine of a damn Bollywood movie, and in walked Loken’s entire family led by Prem, Deepak, and Bunty all wearing custom-fit three-piece suits. Their hair was groomed, and their beards were trimmed and styled. Each of them had shoes that shone, and the crowd of Gujarati Italians behind them drooled.

Loken’s entire family was beautifully dressed, and their traditional clothes glittered as everyone entered the ballroom and dispersed.

“The groom’s side is here!” Farah Aunty said. She clapped her hands together.

Holy hell, Kareena was going to throw up. The aunties huddled around her as they all waited for the introductions and the greetings to begin.

Seconds before Prem and his friends reached them, Falguni Aunty spun Kareena around to face her and blurted out, “You’re going to make a lovely bride and groom.”

The other aunties gasped in horror.

“Beta?” Sonali Aunty said gently.

Before Kareena could respond, Dadi gripped her shoulders and pulled her close. “Beta? Are you engaged?”

“I knew I should’ve kept that appointment with the pandit,” Sonali Aunty said. “Now you’ll have to wait until after his vacation to get your janampatris reviewed!”

“Is this true?” Dadi asked quietly. She had tears in her eyes as she pressed closer to Kareena. “Is this . . . is this true?”

“Ah, we were supposed to announce it together—”

“Tell me, it’s not because of the house, is it?”

Kareena’s jaw dropped. Holy shit, her grandmother went in for the kill. “I mean, it would’ve been nicer to have time, but since the house is so important to me—”

“Chalo, no matter. As long as you’re engaged.”

The way her grandmother said those words had Kareena’s back going rigid. “Dadi, you know better than to say something that ridiculous.”

Dadi patted her hair and smiled at the guests. “I worried about you. That you’d be all alone, beta. Because you think it’s easier to be alone. Your wedding is going to be lovely with Prem. Look how handsome he is.”

“My wedding with Prem won’t be for a while.”

“What?” The aunties gasped as well.

This time Dadi spun around to face her. “This is too much, Kareena. This is too much, you’re giving me a tension headache and we haven’t even started yet!” She unzipped the clutch she’d tucked under one arm and pulled out the Asian Sensation vibrator, turning it to a high speed and resting the writhing sex toy against her neck. “So much tension!”

“A group of beautiful women shouldn’t look so distressed . . . oh my god, is that a—”

“Dude, Grandma has a vibrator,” Bunty whispered loudly.

At that moment, Kareena’s father walked over with two glasses of whiskey. “Prem! Here, have a drink.” He looked over at Dadi, his eyes bulging. “Ma! I told you to leave that at home!”