Dating Dr. Dil (If Shakespeare was an Auntie #1)(36)

Kareena: BLOCK





Trevor: Hey. I like your profile!

Kareena: Thanks! I like yours.

Trevor: Awesome. Wanna fuck?

Kareena: BLOCK





Guru: Hey

Kareena: Hey

Guru: What’s good?

Kareena: Uh, nothing. Just getting off work now.

Kareena: Hello?

Kareena: You know what? Fair enough. I’ve ghosted people, too.

Guru: BLOCK





Satyam: Hey. How’s it going?

Kareena: Not bad. How are you?

Satyam: I’m great. I mean, other than being online.

Kareena: Oh, I know what you mean.

Satyam: So would it be weird if I gave your number to my mom?

Satyam: She wants to make sure you’re legit and from a good family

Satyam: She also thinks that “looking for true love”’ is cliché on your profile. And that you need to lower your standards a bit, and that I may also be too good for you. Also, she thinks you look familiar.

Kareena: BLOCK





Prem: Hey, how goes wedding dress shopping?

Kareena: Fine. I’m swiping on dating profiles while I’m waiting, so it’s productive.

Prem: I told you, you should just go out with me. You already know that I can keep up with you in a pani puri battle.

Kareena: But can you give me what I need?

Prem: Did you know that romantic love wasn’t even a factor in marriages until the late eighteenth century? And not just for South Asians.

Kareena: I’ll take that as a no.

Prem: I can buy you time for your house. Isn’t that what you want?





Kareena read Prem’s last text message over again. She had no idea what she was supposed to say to him or what she was supposed to do.

He’d texted a couple times since their pani puri–eating competition, and every time his name appeared on her phone screen, her mouth tingled in memory.

“Who was that?” Bobbi asked. She sat back against the plush seat of the velvet couch, her cell phone in one hand and a flute of champagne in another.

“Prem.”

“Ahh,” Bobbi said.

Kareena glared at her. “Ahh. What does ‘Ahh’ mean? You don’t make sound effects and faces like that without a double meaning.”

Bobbi shrugged. “It means ‘Ahh.’” She put her phone and champagne down on the large glass coffee table in front of them. “It’s just that you’ve been spending a lot of time talking to Prem when you guys were screaming at each other in a viral video a month ago. And before that, you were texting us, cursing him, because he lied to you at a bar to get in your pants, then left you horny in a stranger’s office. By the way, I wish you’d taken a look around that office. I’ve been trying to get Benjamin Padda’s attention for ages.”

“Sorry, I was in a bit of a rush,” Kareena said dryly. “And I don’t carry grudges.” Just memories of Prem’s kiss.

He’d purposely planted one on the corner of her mouth. That was like expert level on the romance hero skill scale. That was a type of kiss meant to throw her off her game and remind her what it was like to make out with him. She’d been slightly intoxicated the night they’d met, so when he corner-of-the-mouth kissed her, it brought back a flood of memories that went from hazy to crystalline.

One thing was for certain. The man could make a woman weak with his mouth.

She couldn’t tell Bobbi or Veera about it yet. Not until she had more information. Otherwise, they would be hounding her for weeks to find out what was going on.

“Kareena, you do more than carry grudges,” Bobbi continued, oblivious to Kareena’s train of thought. “You have a list and keep receipts. True Taurus energy through and through. But Prem is no longer on your hate list, is he?”

Kareena shook her head. “We called a truce, and then I beat him in a pani puri–eating competition.” It was kind of hard to stay mad at someone who made her laugh when she knew she was being exasperating, and had the guts to kiss her in an Indian restaurant. Every aunty and uncle in the place was watching.

Bobbi sipped her champagne. “This is the guy who thinks love is an illusion. The one who believes that love marriages aren’t sustainable because they’re built on emotion. He’s also the same guy who needs something from you, because to Dr. Dil, relationships are transactional. Don’t forget that.”

“Bobbi, I don’t need your help analyzing my relationship with Prem. I need your help figuring out why I’m not getting any other matches online. Is it because I’m in Edison? What if I change my location to something like Boston for a few weeks? Do you think I’ll have better luck up north? I always liked a man in flannel.”

“I think men are men wherever you go. You’re looking for a needle in a haystack, honey. Welcome back to the world of heterosexual dating. Any word from the aunties?”

Kareena shook her head. “I think they’re so set on matching me with Dr. Dil that they aren’t being super aggressive with their search.”

“They picked a good one,” Bobbi said. “Despite the argument between you two, there is definitely chemistry there.” She fanned herself with her free hand.

“Thanks for the help,” Kareena muttered. “I have a little over three months left here, and I do not need you to agree with the aunties.”