Dark Sexy Knight (A Modern Fairytale)(76)

He’d broken every promise he’d ever made to Aunt Jane and Melody.

He’d promised not to hurt Verity, but this was worse than anything his fists could have wreaked. The sorrow on her face when he walked into the courtroom was killing him inside. Hurt her? He’d leveled her. He could see it in her eyes, just as he’d seen it in his mother’s so long ago.

All he knew was that he had to cut her loose.

All he knew was what he’d always known, from the first moment he’d met her: that Verity Gwynn deserved far better than him.

And he had to make it happen, no matter what, which made him go cold for her sake, which made him dead inside, so he could get the f*cking job done.

“I lost my job and my cousin because of you and your brother. I want you to go. Get out of my house. I don’t want you there. Move on,” he snarled, his eyes burning with tears as the bailiff approached him. He spoke into his shoulder in a low, menacing growl, still refusing, unable, to look at her while he said these hateful words. “I never want to see your face again.”

“Colton,” she gasped as the bailiff pulled on his handcuffs, urging him to stand. Without another word, he moved around the table, following the uniformed man toward the side door.

“Good-bye,” he murmured, knowing she couldn’t hear him, ignoring the wetness on his cheeks and the heaviness of his broken heart.

You’ll be better off without me, sunshine.

***

Verity stared at the side door of the courtroom in disbelief as Colton walked through it without even turning around to look at her one last time. She placed her hand on her chest, unable to breathe, her lungs burning as tears fell in streams down her cheeks.

“He’s hurtin’ bad,” said Joe softly, appearing beside her with Ryan. “Real bad.”

She turned her body to the older man, letting her forehead fall to his shoulder as she exhaled on a sob, letting waves of sadness rock her body. Joe put his arms around her and held on tight for a minute or two.

“Oh no. Oh no. Ver’ty is sad. Ver’ty is so, so sad.”

“Shhh, now, honey,” said Joe, rubbing her back soothingly as he leaned away to look into her eyes.

“He said he n-never wanted to s-see m-my face again,” she said, her words broken by tears and gasps of breath. “He b-blames me. He h-hates me.”

“Only one he blames is himself, honey.” Joe patted her back gently, looking over at Ryan, who rocked back and forth, increasingly upset. “You calm yourself now, son. You ain’t helpin’ your sister none actin’ like that.”

Ryan stopped rocking, but he still whispered combinations of “Oh no” and “Ver’ty is so sad” under his breath.

When Joe turned back to Verity, his face was compassionate. “He don’t blame you. He hates himself somethin’ awful right now. You know that.”

She sniffled, trying to set Colton’s incredibly painful words to the side and think about what he was going through. Arrested. Arraigned. Court-mandated anger management. But worst of all—the most terrible blow, she knew—was the loss of Melody’s guardianship, which Colton had taken so seriously. She couldn’t imagine how bad he must be feeling right now, how terribly he must be hurting.

“I know,” she whispered.

“He can’t see straight. Can’t see nothin’ but bein’ away from you and bein’ away from his cousin and lettin’ everyone down. Hates himself, not you. You mark my words.”

She nodded, reaching up to dry her tears. Suddenly she felt weak and ridiculous for breaking down in the middle of the courtroom and crying all over Joe’s suit jacket.

“Sorry,” she said.

“No need to be,” he said. “You love him. That makes it hurt worse.”

“Thanks, Joe.”

“Anytime. You two need a ride?”

She shook her head. “I’ve got Colton’s car.”

Joe nodded. “You mind what I said now. If anythin’, honey, that man needs you more than ever right now. Don’t let him down, huh? He’s one of the good ones.”

She leaned up and kissed Joe on the cheek. “You are too.”

She thought she spied a blush as Joe patted Ryan on the arm and ambled toward the exit.

“Ryan,” she said gently, “I’ve stopped crying, see? I’m okay now. I promise.”

“Colton’s our friend. Colton loves Ver’ty.”

She whimpered, clenching her teeth to keep from crying out.

“I hope so,” she managed to whisper.

“He don’t blame you. One of the good ones. Colton is one of the good ones.”

Her brother was parroting Joe’s words, trying to comfort her, but the problem with Joe’s and Ryan’s reassurances was that she blamed herself. Mightily. Before she and Ryan and their truckload of bad luck careened into Colton Lane’s life, he’d had a decent job and the guardianship of his cousin. Now he was, for all intents and purposes, incarcerated for the next two months, he had no job, and his cousin was a temporary ward of the state. He had every right to blame her. He had every right to hate her.

In fact, there was only one thing that actually did reassure her. A very, very small thing, which gave her more hope than anything else, and it was this: when he’d said those terrible things to her, he hadn’t looked into her eyes. He hadn’t even turned around. Maybe he was too disgusted to look at her, but maybe—just maybe—he couldn’t look at her because he knew he was lying to her. And until she saw the truth of his hatred in his eyes, she would hope that he was just pushing her away out of anger.