Dare To Run (The Sons of Steel Row #1)(79)
She didn’t shy away or avoid my stare. Just slid into the car, her body stiff. After I seated myself behind the wheel and put the car into gear, she buckled her seat belt. We pulled out onto the road in silence, and I’d never been more grateful for the lack of conversation. Checking the rearview for a tail, I stole a quick glance at her. She gripped her purse tightly and stared straight ahead. She looked upset.
Good. She should be upset.
As if she sensed my eyes on her, she broke the silence. “I’m sorry you’re angry, but I heard that Tate wanted me to come, to prove that what we had was real, or you’d be held accountable.” She gripped her purse tight. “And I didn’t want you to be in even more trouble over me. God knows I’ve made enough problems for you.”
My lip curled up, and I gripped the wheel so hard my hand hurt. “So you just had to play the part of a hero, huh? You just couldn’t resist trying to save me.”
She gasped. “I wasn’t—”
“Enough.” Rage pumped through my veins—hot and fast. I was seconds from exploding, and I didn’t want to. Not all over her, damn it. “Just . . . enough.”
Luckily, she took the hint and got quiet.
I tried to ease my grip on the wheel and failed. How could I relax when I knew that Scotty was going to go after her now with a vengeance? All because she’d had to be a hero and show up at the party. That’s what being a hero got you. A target on your back.
Well, screw that.
I wasn’t a hero, and I never would be.
“Why are you so angry with me?” she asked. She’d finally stopped staring out the windshield, and focused on me instead. “Is it because I came to the party even though you didn’t want me there, or is it because I didn’t blindly listen to your orders?”
Gripping the wheel tightly, I silently counted my breaths. In, one. Out, two. In, three. Out, four. I would not snap, and I would not lose control. Not with her.
“You can’t keep trying to protect me, no matter the cost to yourself, like this,” she said. “I refuse to let you do it anymore.”
I counted to ten this time, breathing heavily. It didn’t help.
“Now you’re going to ignore me? Really?” She tossed her purse aside. “How old are we, five?”
When I still didn’t answer, she gave up and stared out the window.
By the time we pulled up to my shop, the tension in the air was thicker than oil. I shut the engine off and checked the parking lot for any signs of movement. There was nothing. “We are going directly inside. No talking, just walking.”
She glanced over at me, her eyes wide as if she was shocked I’d actually spoken. “Oh, so we’re speaking to each other again?”
“This isn’t a f*cking game,” I snapped. “Shut. Up. Get. Inside.”
She rolled her eyes and threw her door open, hopping out in one smooth motion. Gun in hand, I followed her, watching for any threats. We made it inside without attack, but I didn’t let my guard down. After locking the door, I went to the window and glanced out. I’d keep watch all night long. It wasn’t as if I had any other options now. The bedroom door closed behind me, and I rested my forehead on the cold glass. Thank God she’d decided silence was the better option.
It really f*cking was.
What the hell was I supposed to do with her now? How was I supposed to keep her safe, when Scotty knew for a fact now that she was my weakness? Straight ahead, I could see the top of St. Stephen’s. It was partially ensconced in fog. Where was “God” now? Where was he when my brother decided he’d be better off without me in his life? And where was he when Heidi had been attacked and I’d had no choice but to save her—and in doing so, gotten her wrapped up in this life?
I looked away from the tower, which would give me no answers and no absolution. The clouds obscured any signs of stars I’d have seen, and I had a feeling we were in for a storm. I hadn’t had time to watch the weather in between dodging bullets and keeping Heidi alive, but I could read the skies well enough.
As if on cue, flakes of snow fell from the clouds above.
The bedroom door opened behind me, and I tensed. “Go back to bed.”
“I’m not going to bed.” She headed across the living room, but I didn’t turn around and look. I didn’t trust myself to look at her right now. “I’m going to work.”
It took me a minute to process the fact that, once again, she was trying to kill me. Technically, she was trying to kill herself, but if she died, I’d . . .
It was one and the same.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
She threw her hands up. “Why not?”
I set my gun down on the table by the door and leaned against it, blocking her only exit. “You just had to go and show your pretty little face at that damn party.”
“I told you. They needed to see me.” She lifted her chin defiantly, looking as foolishly brave as ever. “Tate needed to see me.”
Everything I’d been holding back, everything I’d been trying to keep at bay, came slamming out of the dam. There was no stopping it. I slammed my palm against the door. “I don’t give a flying f*ck what he needed. I wanted to keep you safe, and out of this life. And you ruined it.”
“By going to one single party,” she drawled. “Yeah. Sure. I totally won’t be able to resist the lifestyle now. I’ll be at every party you ever go to, being a regular social butterfly. Ruining everything with my presence.”