Dare To Run (The Sons of Steel Row #1)(73)

She licked her lips and stared up at me, her wide blue eyes locked on me. She looked so soft. So hesitant. As if unsure of her welcome, and that made me feel like even more of a dick, because I’d made her doubt herself by being a prick for a few hours. “Oh . . .”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

She blinked at me, clearly thrown off. “For?”

“Being an *.” I pulled her into my arms. “I thought . . . actually, it doesn’t matter why I did it. It was a stupid idea, and you deserve better.”

“I thought you were just in a bad mood.” She softened and rested her hands on my shoulders. “Tell me the truth. Why did you do it?”

“I wanted to scare you away. Send you running with my cash with a few callous remarks.” I rested my forehead on hers, gripping her hips, and breathed in her scent. “It didn’t work, though. It’s so f*cking easy for me to be an ass to everyone. Everyone but you.”

A smile lit up her face. “Even if you managed to be the biggest jerk in the world, it wouldn’t have changed a thing. I told you I’m not going anywhere, and I meant it.” She skimmed her fingers over my jaw. I could barely feel her touch, but it soothed the beast inside me. “I’m not leaving till this thing is over.”

What she meant by this thing, I didn’t know. But I wasn’t about to ask. It wouldn’t be fair of me. Not when I was standing at the entrance of the Valley of Death. And something inside of me, deep, deep down, below all the anger and knowledge, believed her. That scared the shit out of me.

Not trusting myself to speak, I let go of her, walked to the door, unlocked it, and motioned her through it. She wore short denim shorts, a tight sweater, and a pair of knee-high boots, so like usual, she shivered as soon as she stepped outside, even though it was slightly warmer tonight.

Shrugging my jacket off, I tossed it over her shoulders without speaking.

We walked home in silence, and after I checked that the apartment was clear, I walked right back out. I wasn’t going to push her away by being a dick anymore, but that didn’t mean we’d live happily ever after. Not with my life. She didn’t bother to ask me where I was going, either because she already knew, or because she just didn’t give a damn. Either way, it didn’t matter.

Switching the light on, I walked into the garage and eyed the cars waiting to be repaired. Rotating my aching shoulders and wincing at the pain in my arm, I walked over to the Camaro in the corner and read the file. All it needed was a routine oil change. Perfect. That’s about all I could handle with one lame arm.

Rolling my sleeves up, I tried to force everything that was upsetting me to the back of my mind. That’s why I did this. Working with my hands made my mind clear, and it soothed me. Like Heidi with her music—

Damn it, could I spend one f*cking moment without thinking about her and her damn smile and bright blue eyes and fresh, clean peach scent? Part of me—a very, very small part that I’d deny till I was blue in the face if anyone ever asked me about it—wished I’d taken Heidi up on her offer the other night.

I almost wished we could run away together.

Take the money, find the quaintest, smallest town in America, and start over. One with a zero point nine-nine percent crime ratio. She could open another bar, and I could open up a legit mechanic shop. Live life on the right side of the tracks for once, and see how it felt. With her by my side . . .

I had a feeling it would feel really nice.

Sweat rolled down, stinging my eyes, and I cranked the torque too hard. Straightening, I swiped my forearm across my forehead and let out a low curse. The image of Heidi’s blue eyes flashed in front of me, and I tossed the rag aside. Working on cars wasn’t quieting my mind tonight. I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

I was still avoiding thinking about Scotty and his attempts to kill me, but Heidi hadn’t left my mind yet. I didn’t know what to do about that, damn it. Or what it meant. Shaking my head, I sat on the hood of the Benz behind me with a groan. I could still hear little Scotty’s laugh as I chased him around Ma’s house.

He’d always worn that damn Batman cape, and I’d always been delegated to don Robin’s tights. I’d hated Robin. But I’d worn them for him anyway.

And now he wanted to kill me.

Life was too short to mess with this shit, but it was also too short to ignore the one thing that was staring me in the face: Heidi was upstairs, waiting for me, and I was downstairs pretending I didn’t need to go up there because I didn’t want to want her.

Admitting I did made me weak. It’s what I’d been told my whole life. What I’d told myself. But now, with Heidi in my life, I found myself questioning those values.

Questioning everything.

Tossing the torque wrench aside, I walked away from an unfinished car for the first time ever. Someone else could fix it tomorrow, and that someone wouldn’t be me.

Shutting the lights off, I headed up the stairs and tossed the apartment door open, scanning the room for any signs of life. The living room was dark, and so was the kitchen, but the bedroom light was still on.

I could see it shining underneath the crack of the door.

Without breaking stride, I threw open the door. She lay in the bed, a book in her hand, and jumped when I came barging in. “Lucas? What the—?”

“I want you.” I took her book out of her hands and set it down, being careful not to lose her page. Then I threw the covers back and crawled on top of her, right where I belonged. All she had on was a baggy shirt and a pair of satin underwear, and she managed to make that sexy as hell. She immediately closed her legs around my waist. “But even more than that? I need you, sweetheart. I f*cking need you.”