Crushed (Torn #7)(40)

I was red with anger. If he wanted to let it all out, well, I had more to say. All these years, I had bottled everything in: every insult, each hurt, and the profound rejection I had constantly had to deal with. I was now ready for him to hear them.

He was so dumbfounded by my verbal outburst it took him about a full minute to find his voice again.

“I’m sorry. f*uk, I had no idea.”

“Of course you didn’t!” He was too blinded by his own shit to see my pain. “She’s all you’ve ever wanted, and I know I’m never going to measure up to her. I’m only your second choice.” It was a fact, one I had fully accepted, though it had taken years to achieve that. “You’re here now because you can’t have her,” I unabashedly said, baring my heart, my emotions, no holds barred.

His throat bobbed. “That’s not true—”

“Isn’t it?” I shot back, fuming. I didn’t understand why he had to deny the blatant fact. Everyone knew—every single f*uking one—so why was he making me more of a fool by lying to my face? It was such an insult after what he and I had gone through. “I don’t appreciate the lies, Brody. We all know who the reason behind your reckless behavior these past months was. Well, guess what? I’m done being the second choice! I’m done with you! I’m done loving you!” I could have dealt with a lot of things, but lying about something that was common knowledge was something I couldn’t go through, especially from him.

For a moment, he seemed flustered about my passionate declarations. “Please don’t say that. We’ve always had this amazing chemistry. I know it took me forever to get here, but I’m here now.” He paused, searching my eyes, my heart, trying to find a scrap of who I used to be. “I’m here now … before you … ready to take the extra step.”

How twisted was this? It had taken him the same years I had used to move on before he could get to this point. There was just so much that had gone on between us that I didn’t see how any of this could work out. I had no gas left to keep going, to keep fighting. I was running on fumes, and it was either I save myself or sink to the bottomless hole that was my life these past years. I had to learn how to love myself, and to do so, getting rid of Brody and my toxic love affair with him had to go first. Then I could deal with the rest.

Making a sad smile, my heart broke before I even uttered a word. “It’s too late. I don’t want you, not like that. Not anymore.”

“You don’t want me?” he gruffly hissed out. “Are you crazy? You were just seducing me five seconds ago. You wanted to f*uk me, so how can you look me in the eyes and say shit like ‘you don’t want me’?”

“It’s just sex.” I had to learn how to separate my heart when dealing with him. “I’m drunk and horny. It’s nothing you haven’t done before.”

His dark eyes turned deadly. “Is that why you’re planning to leave? ‘Cause you’re drunk and horny, and you want to f*uk the first guy you see?”

Deep down, I knew he was mad, and maybe pushing his buttons wasn’t the wisest thing to do. However, he had pushed me over the edge, and I had too many pent-up emotions that needed to be unleashed. This argument was far from over.

“What’s it to you, huh? I can do whatever I want,” I baited him, hoping he would be up for another round of word bashing with me.

“You want to f*uk that bad? Okay, let’s f*uk!”

“I … uh…” I licked my lips, fighting the excitement that just unfurled in my body at the very thought of him taking me the way he used to—passionate, rough, and out of this world.

Why couldn’t my mind and body be in sync the way they were supposed to? Why was I wired differently when it came to Brody? I hated it. I hated him, because try as I might, fighting him off when he decided to target my body made me a goner.

Story of my life.





Chapter Twenty-Two





“What? Changed your mind already?” he taunted, eyeing me as if he was about to ravish me on the spot. “You can go out there, f*uk as many men as you want, but we both know you will never be satisfied, because it’s me that you want. It’s me you’re in love with. So say whatever you like, but I’m going to f*uk you until you no longer remember any other man’s cock but mine,” he said, leaving me panting shallowly as I felt my pu**y quiver with lustful anticipation.

Dear me, how could he be so … bold and passionately sensual while declaring his dominance towards me? It was arousing, and I couldn’t help being swayed by his display of potent, masculine virility and control. It was as forbidding as it was thrilling. He was in his element and never had I seen him so impassioned towards me. It was a knee-buckling moment for me.

“Your pu**y is so excited that you can’t even manage to talk, Amber?” he pressed on, closing the hairsbreadth that was left between us before I felt his hot breath teasing my cheek then the tip of my nipple as it drew goose bumps all over me. “I love how these little suckers respond to me,” he gruffly said then bestowed the same treatment to the counterpart, driving me mad because I was giving in too quickly, but at the same time, I hungered for him like no other.

“Is this all you want to do, tease me until your ego is satisfied?” Scratchy though my voice was, it was obvious how I needed him to just get it over with so I could continue verbally sparring with him. I would feel more in control if I were attacking him instead of this blatant display of his sexual prowess towards me.