Cruel Fortune (Cruel #2)(89)

“You know nothing about my life, Natalie. Keep lashing out. It’s not going to help you.”

“I don’t know or care why you did it. Either way, it’s a petty, baseless move. And you’re going to fucking pay for what you did.”

Katherine pressed a hand to her stomach and chuckled. “Oh, honey, please.”

“I’m going to make you regret this,” I said seriously.

“Sure you are, kitty cat,” Katherine said with another laugh. As if I’d made the joke of the season. “I’m so scared.”

I didn’t care how she’d found out. Or what her utter damage was. I just knew that she had come after me because I was the only person who had ever stood up to her. I was the only one who had told her no and not backed down. And I didn’t want to back down here.

Even as that string I’d been holding on to snapped. Even as I felt myself descend down, down, down into the darkest place of my being. Even as I held on to the dark and decided to call it home.

I knew with every fiber of my being that I would not let Katherine Van Pelt do this to me. How many other women had she beaten down for having strength? She’d always gotten away with it. And I wouldn’t let her do it to me.

My stomach might be in knots. I might want to throw up. Fear might be the only lifeline I had. Knowing I’d have to wade through the social humiliation of this revelation. Figure out how to still live my life after the death of Olivia Davies. And still, I would not break before her.

“Go back to the hole you crawled out of,” Katherine spat at me.

“I don’t even recognize you anymore,” Penn said with a shake of his head.

“Same, love,” she said. “Same.” Then, she flicked her dark hair off her shoulder. “Now, you’ll have to excuse me. I have a reception to finish.”

With that, she turned and strode back into her own party. The devil in virginal white.

My hands were shaking, and the last shred of control I had been clinging to in Katherine’s presence was collapsing.

“I can’t believe she did this,” Penn said. “It’s vindictive, even for Katherine.”

“I just…don’t know how she even fucking found out,” I gasped.

“Someone must have told her. I don’t think she would have cared to figure it out on her own.”

Tears welled in my eyes. Ones I’d held back all night. But I didn’t want to shed them. Not here. Not at all.

“God, you were right,” I said. I balled my hands into fists. “This world chewed me up and spit me out. And they just keep fucking winning. Even when they’re wrong, they always win.”

Penn sighed. “I did want you to get out. They’ve been playing the game a lot longer. The board wasn’t even.”

I brushed at the tears, determined not to let them fall. I wouldn’t allow it. Katherine would never get my tears.

“I need…I need to get out of here.”

“Of course,” he said. “I can take you home.”

“I bet this will all blow over,” Jane said softly.

I looked over at her. “I find that doubtful.”

“I believe it. Get away for Christmas, and when you come back for my New Year’s Eve party, it’ll be like nothing ever happened.”

“My pen name was revealed. Katherine humiliated me in front of the entire world. I don’t think a week is going to change anyone’s mind.”

Jane frowned. “I’m so sorry, Natalie. I hate that this happened to you. Let me know if I can do anything. Anything at all. My connections are at your disposal.”

“Thanks,” I muttered and then continued toward the exit. I was almost out into the freak blizzard when I realized, “Fuck, I don’t have my coat.”

“Do you want me to go back in and get it?”

I shook my head. I couldn’t bear the thought of it. “I have another at home. I’ll just…consider it another casualty to the evening.”

Penn slid his jacket off and wrapped it around my shoulders. We were silent as we took a cab back to my apartment. He’d never been inside my apartment. Never even been to the building. And I found that I didn’t want his first time to be seeing me pack and break down.

I turned my back to the door when we got upstairs. “This is me.”

“Can I come in?”

I debated on whether or not I was making the right move and then shook my head.

“No?”

“Not right now,” I amended.

“Natalie, let me take care of you.”

“I think…I need to take care of myself in this one.”

“You don’t have to do this alone,” he told me.

“I know. But I’m going to go inside and pack and leave the city. And I don’t want that to be the first time you come inside.” I shed his jacket and passed it back to him to prove my point.

“You’re just going to leave?”

“I’m a mess. I need to go home and regroup. Think this all through. Process. I don’t even know what my agent is going to say. What my editor is going to say. I was already going home for Christmas. I’m going to buy a ticket for tonight and get there early.”

Penn slipped his hands into his pockets. “I hate to bring one more thing into your headspace right now, Nat, but…where does this leave us?”