Cruel Fortune (Cruel #2)(26)

“Yeah, and if they don’t, I think we know someone who might have a say,” Jane said with a pointed look.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down,” I said. “First off, no one is helping me get my book published. And even if they buy the next book, I don’t know if it’s a fluke that the first did well. There are so many variables. Too many variables to just move to New York.”

“Oh, come on. Where’s the girl who used to hop vacation homes for fun while she was writing?” Lewis asked.

“That girl got paid to do that and wrote on the side,” I reminded him.

“What’s the real issue?” Jane asked, leaning in.

I took a steadying sip of my martini. “I don’t know. I…don’t want to live here. I don’t fit in here. The Upper East Side isn’t my home. It’s this other universe that I’ll never belong to. I learned that the hard way.”

Jane frowned. “Who told you that you didn’t belong? Because they’re wrong.”

“I know who told you that,” Lewis said grimly.

Penn. Penn had said it that first day on the beach when he saw me there. Katherine had said it later. And they weren’t wrong. No matter what Jane or Lewis thought. I didn’t have enough money or the name to fit in with this crowd. I was an outsider. Maybe less of a fish out of water than the first time I’d stumbled into that Hamptons cottage with the crew and their fabulous lives. But it didn’t change the fact that this world had hurt me. Walking back into it would be foolish.

“Listen,” Jane said, “the Upper East Side is its own world. I’ll grant you that. But the only way you can survive it is by thinking you belong. The minute they see weakness, they’ll eat you alive.”

That, she knew for a fact.

“So, you’re saying…fake it till you make it?” I asked.

“Fake it till you don’t give a fuck,” Jane said. She raised her martini glass.

Lewis laughed. “I’ll toast to that.”

We all clinked glasses together, and I sipped my martini more carefully. I was drunk enough to consider this. That was absurd. I couldn’t move to New York. And I most certainly was not going to become Upper East Side by sheer force of will.

“So, what do you think?” Lewis asked.

“About moving?” I shook my head, still shocked we were even having this conversation.

“Yeah. Do it, Natalie!” Jane agreed.

“I mean, my interest is purely selfish,” Lewis said, leaning forward into my personal space. “I want you here. I want you close.”

“I don’t know. I’m going back to Charleston in the morning. I’ve just been planning to write from there.”

“Ugh, Charleston,” Jane said. “That’s somewhere in the South, right?”

I arched an eyebrow. “Yeah, it’s in South Carolina. It’s beautiful.”

“I bet it is. But it’s not New York.”

“And you said you couldn’t write there,” Lewis reasoned again.

“I did say that, but maybe now that I have my inspiration back for the story, I could work on it there.”

Maybe. Hopefully. Fuck, hopefully.

“What’s the new book about anyway?” Jane asked.

“Oh, it follows this couple and their relationship over time. Starts with them young and falling in love despite the fact that they’re total opposites. Then, it shows the descent of their relationship and the way family and outside influences mold and sharpen it. It’s told from multiple points of view so that you see the relationship and its issues from every side. But you never quite know the truth.”

“Sounds dark.” Jane’s fur coat slipped, revealing the bare shoulder beneath.

“Sort of. Realistic is what I go for,” I said with a shrug.

“It sounds amazing to me,” Lewis said. “How much do you have?”

I shrugged. “Like, fifteen thousand words. It’s, like, thirty single-spaced pages.”

“That’s a hefty amount in a matter of days.”

“It is.” I leaned into the bar, wondering if this third martini was a huge, huge mistake. “Most I’ve written in a year.”

“Rock star,” Jane said. “What about you, Lewis? Any fascinating new adventure?”

Lewis’s eyes crawled over me as if to say that I was the new adventure. But, when he spoke, he was all business. “I’m working with a slew of new investors that looks promising. As you are probably aware, I manage hedge funds. We’re looking to rapidly increase return on investment by purchasing a new real estate opportunity.” He shrugged with his perfectly casual smile. “It’s all really dry and boring unless you know more about how they work.”

“I’ve invested in a few before,” Jane said with her own shrug. “Real estate seems safe.”

“It can be.” His tone suggested that what he was dealing with was anything but.

I, on the other hand, had no experience with hedge funds. All I knew was that they were incredibly risky, and if they paid off, you made a shit-ton of money. Also, only super-fucking-rich people could use them. Which counted me out.

“I’m going to…” I pointed toward the restroom.

As soon as I stood up, my knees wobbled, and I thought I might fall over.