Craving (Steel Brothers Saga #1)(70)

Hot breath singed the back of the boy’s neck. He had learned to separate his mind from his body. It was the only way to survive. But still, the breath. Always the breath, no matter how far away he was into his mind.

He had stopped fighting back. He had stopped begging them to leave him alone. It was useless.

They seemed to like it when he resisted.

He was used to the pain. Tonight was bad though. The one with the tattoo went first, and he was the biggest.

The boy winced and cried out when Tattoo breached him. He hated himself for screaming. Each time he promised himself he wouldn’t scream, and then he did. Next time, he said to himself. Next time I won’t scream.

Tattoo grunted as he forced his way into the boy’s body. As much as the boy hated being penetrated, it was better than having it stuffed inside his mouth. He threw up either way, but at least with penetration he could hold off until they left. Then he would heave and empty his stomach.

“Yeah, give it to him good,” Low Voice said.

The three men always wore black ski masks, so the boy had no idea what they looked like. Just as well. He didn’t want to see their faces. This way, not knowing what they looked like, he could think of them as inhuman. Pure evil.

“You like that, don’t you, boy?” Tattoo said, pumping into him. “You like being fucked in the ass.”

The boy said nothing. The first couple of times he had screamed, “No. I don’t! Stop this! I hate this!” And he’d paid for it with a beating as well as a fucking.

“Come on, boy. Tell me you like it.”

Still, he remained silent except for a few wails and sniffs.

Until a cool metal blade touched his neck.

“You say you like it,” Low Voice said. “Say you like his big hard cock in your ass, or I’ll slit your pretty little throat.”

I like it.

I’d said the words. Like a goddamned little pussy, I’d said the words to stay alive. Alive in the hell that had become my life.

Why? Why had I bothered to stay alive?

Cold desperation paralyzed me.

The boy. He was me.

He is me.

God help me.





CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE





JADE


I cried into my pillow until finally, my nose clogged, my face swollen, I fell asleep.

I woke the next morning, rose, and walked into my bathroom. A look in the mirror was a terrible reminder. My eyes were swollen from sobbing, my nose red. My hair was matted with tangles. I grabbed my brush and put it through my hair, wincing when I hit a knot. I brushed it through, reveling in the pain of tearing the tangle out of my hair.

It hurt, but no tears came. I was all cried out. I turned the shower on, and the whoosh of water was somehow comforting. Once the bathroom was good and steamy, I stepped in, letting the hot water scald my skin. I stood there for a few minutes, not washing my hair, not washing my face, just relishing the hot water on my body.

After a few more moments, I shook my head, sniffed, and squirted some shampoo into my palm.

Time to move forward.

When I finished washing, I stepped out of the shower and dried off, taking a dry cloth and wiping a circle in the steam on the mirror. I still looked like hell, but my face would recover from the crying jag. My face, my body—they would show no sign of my time with Talon Steel.

Not so for my heart.

I toweled off, dried my hair, and went back into the bedroom. I grabbed some underpants out of my top drawer.

My top drawer.

It was no longer my top drawer. I was no longer welcome here.

I thought about Marj. She would tell me to stay, no matter what Talon had said.

Which was exactly why I wasn’t going to wake her. She had gotten in late last night from her cooking class. I’d heard her after midnight. Today was Saturday, and she would be sleeping in. I could pack up fairly quickly, call a cab, and go to Grand Junction. It would be a hefty fair, but I didn’t care.

I’d have to call Larry and quit my job. I actually liked the job, but I definitely had issues with Larry’s ethics, so I’d find a better job in Grand Junction. I’d find work with lawyers I respected. I would have liked to give Larry two weeks’ notice, but that wouldn’t be possible, and I couldn’t very well commute from Grand Junction without a car. The cab fare alone from here was going to take all of my spare cash.

I bit back more tears as I pulled all my underwear and socks out of my top drawer and walked over to my bed to set them down.

I gasped.

On my pillow sat one perfect red rose.

I had scarcely gotten settled in my hotel room when my cell phone rang. It was a number I didn’t recognize.

“Hello?”

Silence for a moment. Then, “Jade?”

The voice was familiar, so like my own. Even though I hadn’t heard it in years, I knew exactly who was on the other end of the line.

“Hello, Mother.”

“Jade, darling, how are you?”

Seriously? How did she think I was? And if she really cared, she would’ve asked a long time before now. But I was not in the mood to get into anything with her. After what I had been through with Talon at the ranch, I didn’t want any more drama. “I’m fine, Mother. How are you?”

“How nice of you to ask. Things are going well for me. I’m dating a wonderful new gentleman, and I’m going to write my memoirs. Can you believe it? Me, a writer.”