Crash (Brazen Bulls MC #1)(23)
“He got out about three months ago. I left Texas while he was inside, and I am never going back to Duchy, not for anything. My family is sworn to secrecy about where I am. I turned my back on my friends. My grandma died, and I didn’t go home for her funeral, because I don’t want anybody in Duchy to know where I am, and I knew if I went home, something could slip. I moved to Dallas after the first time, but that wasn’t far away enough, and too many people knew. Now only my immediate family knows where I am, and they are on my side. But I know he can find me if he wants to. I didn’t change my name. It’s my name, and he doesn’t get to take it away from me. Willa was my grandma’s name, too, and I loved her. So I made my house secure, and I trained my dog to protect me. I take martial arts classes, and I work out. I have two guns in this house, and I’m ready to use them. I’m stronger and smarter and harder than I was. If he finds me again, he will regret it. I won’t be weak and afraid anymore.”
Her leg ached sharply, and Willa realized that she had sat bolt upright and even leaned forward, toward Rad. Her whole body was rigid. She had been stabbing her finger at him, it was still pointed like a pistol at his face, and he was staring at her with a look of blazing intensity—that was all she could understand of it, its heat. Whether it was rage or worry or even desire, she couldn’t say.
Dropping her hand, she blew out the rest of her sudden fury and cleared her throat. “Anyway. That’s the long, drawn-out version.”
Her grandparents’ clock on the mantel ticked. Ollie had sat up when she had, and she could feel his stalwart attention as he tried to determine if there was trouble. Rad was quiet, staring at his hands on her leg.
“Not right now, I’m not gonna make you talk more now, but soon, I’m gonna need to know all this bastard’s details.”
“It’s not your job. We just met.”
When he turned to her, his heavy brow had drawn down over his brown eyes, making them seem nearly black. “You could tell me to leave right now and never see you again, and I still wouldn’t let this go. There is a psychotic f*ck out there who’s hurt you again and again. I am gonna do all I can to make sure he’s done. Even if this don’t work out between you and me, I got your back. I can’t f*ckin’ stand pieces of shit who hurt women.”
“It’s more than that. I don’t want to give up my safety to somebody else. I need to be strong enough on my own. I need that. I worked hard to make it true.”
Rad’s hand left her leg and cupped her face. She hadn’t noticed until that moment how he’d leaned toward her. He was almost close enough to kiss. “I said I got your back, Willa. I don’t want to take over, I want to help. Why fight alone if you don’t gotta?”
Exhaustion rolled over Willa’s shoulders and made her sag. She let his hand take the weight of her head. “I just want to stop thinking about him. I just want to have a life and not have him standing at the back of my head all the time.”
“Then we’ll take care of him.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know yet, baby. It means what it needs to mean.”
Which was a circle of words that meant nothing and everything at once. Willa let it lie and focused elsewhere. “That’s the second time you’ve called me baby.”
He blinked, and another spasm of indecipherable emotion crossed his face. It was significant to him in some way, but all he said was, “That bother you?”
It didn’t, she liked it, so she shook her head. For another long stretch of time filled with nothing but the tick of her clock marking it, they sat on the sofa, staring at each other. Rad’s hand still cupped her face, and she still leaned into that touch. After what seemed like hours of talking, Willa had no more words to say.
She was tired and sad—and also comforted. Turning loose all those memories had been painful, but sharing them with Rad had been a relief.
“What now?” she finally asked.
With a smile, he took his hand from her face and picked her up, one arm sliding behind her back, and the other easing gently under her legs. He shifted her until she was sitting on his lap.
“Now, I’m gonna kiss you again. Then I’m gonna say good night.”
Disappointment surged into Willa’s chest, clashing with the anticipation of his kiss. After all she’d said, she felt exposed and raw. “You’re leaving? I thought we agreed we’d tell each other about ourselves.”
“We did. I think you got some idea about me tonight.”
She had to admit that she had. “But—”
“There’ll be a time for me to do some talkin’, too. What you had to say—that was some intense shit, baby. Let’s let it soak a little, okay?”
“And if I don’t want you to go?”
He watched his hand move over the bandage around her knee. To her knee and his hand, he said, “You said you weren’t up to it.”
God, she wanted to be naked with him. She wanted to feel the grainy surface of his palm move up her thigh, into her underwear, between her legs. She wanted to see his hard body, to feel it on her skin. She wanted him inside her. She wanted him to f*ck her cross-eyed. She wanted him to make her feel something that would push out all the Jesse shit banging around in her brain right now and fill her up with something good.