Crash Into Me(121)

Jordan covered her mouth and made a noise that sounded like she was going to cry or be sick. I knew that noise because I'd heard myself make it hours earlier when I'd first entered Nina's room. And even now, I felt sick at the thought that she was lying there hurt and unconscious.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"The doctor told me she'll recover, but they don't know how long she'll be in the coma. She's hurt badly," I answered robotically, as I'd done on the phone with Nina's sister.

As she stood there looking at her friend, Jordan began to cry. "What was she doing in the car alone? You never let her go anywhere alone, Tristan. Why wasn't your driver there?"

I didn't know how to answer her questions. I'd spent hours beating myself up over the very same ones. Why didn't I stop her before she left? If I had, she wouldn't be lying there in a hospital bed hooked up to machines to keep her alive.

"I'm going to get some coffee. I want to make sure someone's here with her all the time, so I can get you some, if you like. I'll only be a few minutes."

Jordan grabbed my arm as I turned to leave. "Honey, are you going to be okay? You sound exhausted. Get some sleep. You look like you need it."

Shaking my head, I said quietly, "No. I can't sleep. It's better that I stay up. I want to be up when she comes out of it."

"Okay. Take your time and get some coffee." She smiled at me and added, "Don't worry. She's going to be okay. Nina's tough."

I tried to smile but my mouth couldn't do anything but stay in the frown it had been in since hearing the officer say she'd been hurt. My body felt numb as I went in search of a coffee machine or a cafeteria. My brain wasn't much better. Nothing mattered but Nina recovering, but I couldn't do anything to make that happen. No amount of money, nothing I could say would help her.

By the time I returned, her sister had arrived. Shorter than Nina, she looked like an older version of her. Looking at me strangely, she had no idea who I was as I took my position in the doorway.

"Kim, this is Tristan. He's Nina's boyfriend. Fiancé, I mean," Jordan said as she introduced us. "He's been here since right after it happened."

I stuck out my hand to shake Kim's and mumbled my hello. I didn't want to talk or socialize. I wasn't good with this kind of thing, and talking was only going to lead to having to explain to her why I wasn't with her sister when the accident occurred.

Kim studied me like I was something foreign she'd never encountered before. "It's nice to meet you. Nina told me just yesterday," she said flatly, but I clearly heard disapproval in her voice.

The two women talked about something I didn't care about. I didn't want to hear about the last time Nina visited her sister or how Kim had been planning to drive out to Brooklyn over the summer but never got the chance. I just wanted to be left alone with Nina, to hold her hand and hope she heard me when I told her how sorry I was and how I would make it all up to her.

Jordan seemed to read my mind and led Kim out into the hallway. I slowly crept over to the hospital bed and reached out to touch Nina's brown hair that laid against the stark white pillow. She didn't move when I ran my knuckle softly over her jaw.

I took her hand in mine. It seemed so small as my fingers surrounded her entire hand. "Nina, I'm so sorry, baby. If you can hear me, I love you. Don't leave me."

All I wanted was to see those soft blue eyes look up at me and to hear her say she loved me. But she didn't move.