Cowgirls Don't Cry(14)

He was asking the impossible of her. He knew that. But he also knew that Jessie had the kindest soul and the purest heart of anyone he’d ever known. That’s why he hated how his brother had treated her. And it pissed him off that Luke still had the power to hurt her—to hurt both of them—from beyond the grave.

Brandt wasn’t a religious man, but maybe there was a reason this child had happened and a reason why Samantha had come to him for help. He had to believe this shitty situation would mean something good in the end. Because if he thought too hard about the cruelty of it, he’d go stark raving mad. Hell. He was almost there.

He picked himself up off the floor and went to her. Jessie didn’t shrink away when he wrapped his arms around her. She turned and burrowed into his chest, sobbing.

Brandt held her and let his tears fall along right with hers.

Finally, she whispered, “I can’t do it.”


“You don’t know that,” he soothed. “I’m only askin’ you to try.”


“How? By forcing me?”


He tipped her chin up. “I’d never force you. You know me better than that.”


Again, she looked away. Again, Brandt lifted her chin and studied her eyes. The misery was still there, but something else was too. Something that resembled anger. “What?”


“Why me, Brandt? Why am I the first person you thought of?”


Because you’re the most caring person I know.

“Is this some sort of punishment?”


Confused, he frowned. “Punishment? Why would you ask that?”


“Because I hurt you. Then you cut me out of your life completely. And you can deny it all you want-”


“I’m not denyin’ that you hurt me, Jessie. But I was the one outta line, not you. I was mad at myself, not at you.”


Jessie’s entire face held an expression of disbelief.

“So you think I’m usin’ this as an opportunity to get back at you? To hurt you?”


“That’s what I’m asking,” she said softly.

“Christ, just bringing the goddamn thing to your attention is hurting you. I can see that. You think I like the way you’re lookin’ at me right now? No. But I remember you looked at me the same way right after Luke died. I remember how we helped each other through it. One day at a time. How bein’ together somehow made it…bearable at times.” He closed his eyes against the pain in hers. “Do you remember the night you told me you wouldn’t have survived that first year if it hadn’t been for me? How you owed me and if I ever needed anything from you, all I had to do was ask? Well, Jess, right now, I’m askin’ you. I’m begging you. Please. I need you to help me do this.”


After a minute or so of hellish silence, she burrowed into him again. Her tears soaked his shirt. “I don’t know if I can do it. I need some time, Brandt.”


“I hate to say it, but that’s the one thing I can’t give you. I’m picking Landon up tomorrow.”


“And you’re just telling me now? This is going way too fast.”


“I hadn’t intended to spring this on you. But Samantha’s sentencing was moved up last week. She went to the women’s correctional facility in Lusk on Wednesday. Her aunt agreed to keep Landon only for a few days. If I don’t go get him tomorrow…”


Jessie jerked back. “Why is her aunt being so difficult?”