Cowgirl Up and Ride (Rough Riders #3)(122)

Carolyn wrapped an arm around her shoulder and led her from the room. She offered to make coffee; all AJ wanted was to see the wreckage that used to be her home. Alone.


But Carolyn insisted on coming along.


Pumper-trucks and pickups filled the yard. When AJ caught the glimpse of the smoking pile of rubble, she covered her face and sobbed. The only thing that remained was the foundation and the cement walkway.


Poof. Everything gone. Carolyn held her while she cried. She stayed close when AJ


called her mother and her sister, and the insurance agent. Luckily they’d kept the house insured until the final step of the deed transfer, which wouldn’t be for another couple days.


Hours passed before the firefighters declared the last embers out. It was late afternoon and she was alone with her scattered thoughts, lost in the smell of smoke, guilt and tears. Carolyn had saddled up Lucy and rode her to the McKay homestead, promising to take care of her horse until AJ was settled. Wherever and whenever that might be.


AJ wondered if she’d ever feel settled again. Not only had she lost her home, she’d lost decades worth of family history. She literally had nothing but the clothes on her back.


She knew things could be replaced. She knew she was lucky to be alive. She knew it, yet, she mourned. And dammit, she figured she had a right to it.


Cord’s big truck rumbled up the driveway. With all that’d happened she’d completely forgotten their early morning conversation. AJ hoped Ky was with him because he wouldn’t speak so freely about future plans with his son around.


But Cord was alone and he didn’t get out of his truck for the longest time, he just stared at the debris pile. When he climbed out, he ambled straight to her and enclosed her in his big strong arms.


Why did he feel like home?


Wishful thinking.


She allowed his comfort and managed not to cry. Finally she untangled herself from him. “It’s probably better it burned now, rather than after Carter and Macie moved in with their sweet little baby, none of them suspecting what horrors were awaiting them in this old crappy house. I couldn’t live with myself if it would’ve happened to them.” AJ



walked away to try a sense of balance.


Cord chased her down. “You’re damn lucky it didn’t happen to you and you weren’t here last night.”


“Maybe if I had been I could’ve saved something. Picture albums. Letters. My great grandmother’s tatting. Anything.”


“Goddammit, AJ. Look at me.” He grabbed her arm. “None of that shit is more important than your life.”


She jerked back. “Easy for you to say. You have everything in your life that I just lost.”


“Have you forgotten what I said this morning? I offered you everything I have.”


Everything except love.


“This—” he gestured to the rubble behind them, “—is gone. It sucks. I’m sorry. But now you can move on.” His jaw tightened. “Now you can move in with me.”


“Move on? Just like that? Forget about everything in my life going up in flames and move in with you?”


“I want to take care of you, baby doll. What don’t you understand about that?”


AJ looked him dead in the eye. “I don’t want you to take care of me, Cord McKay, because I’ve been taking care of myself my whole life. All I ever wanted was for you to love me. Just love me. What don’t you understand about that?”