Country Kisses (3:AM Kisses Book #8)(7)
Our mouths fall open in tandem as we both gape at the awkward one-night stand hole I’ve just hoisted the two of us out of. And, after he so kindly offered to demonstrate that expletive-riddled tirade he’s so good at with the promise of making me scream. I have a feeling I will be screaming later. Only all of the shouting will be directed at yours truly as I angrily impale myself with my new blue boyfriend.
“I mean, my sister suggested it—the one-night stand.” My mouth keeps moving without my permission, and mini Caila jumps for wicked joy. “She prescribes sex like vitamins.” I flick the little menacing piece of rubber she left behind like a calling card. “She practically gives these away like Halloween candy.” I rattle it in front of him just as he leans in, and I smack him hard over the nose. “Oh my God! I’m sorry!” I drop it like a dead snake and clamp my hands over my mouth.
“What is this?” He pulls it forward for inspection.
“It’s sex on the beach, minus the beach or a living male actually required to achieve such a feat.” My hands ride up over my eyes a moment because I’m pretty sure I should be dying of embarrassment right about now.
“A what?” He pulls it closer with his mouth still agape as if he’s about to take a bite before shouting an entire string of obscenities that ends with, “Shit, f*ck, shit!”
“Now, now with the language. We’re not behind closed doors yet, city boy.” Mini Caila bumps her behind to my face as if to high-five me with her booty. “I get it. You’re a man’s man. Go ahead and drum your fists over your chest a few times if it makes you feel better.” A schoolgirl giggle strums from me as I snatch my blue boy up and slip it into my purse. “I bet an entire herd of helpless women will come running, just begging to swing off your vine.” Please—as if they don’t nightly.
“You’re a funny one.” He takes a much-needed, testosterone-inspired swig of his beer. “So we’ve established I’m a little too friendly with the girls. How about you? I bet you have to fight the boys back with that little blue stick.” He points half-heartedly toward my purse. “I’ve seen these WB boys in action. It ain’t pretty.”
“Ditto for the female population.” This time we do toast.
“You’ll find someone special.” I lean in, bringing my face as close to the center as I’ll allow. “Boys as blessed by God as you are always do.”
“I can say the same about you.” His eyes bear into mine, sending a spear of heat darting right down to my stomach once again. For a moment, the noise, the jostling limbs of those on the dance floor all melt away to nothing.
My face burns ten times hotter than the heat emanating from the sweaty center of the room. “That’s nice of you to say, but I’m taking it slow, looking for someone who I’m not even sure exists. The Unicorn Man.” I give a hard wink. “But, since I’m pretty good at mythology math, it might be a while, thus my trusty sidekick”—I hold up my purse a moment—“a gift from my sister, by the way, unused—so you can rein in your naughty imagination for the night.” Not that I want him to. His eyes remain settled over mine with a thick sexed-up gaze, and this, right here, is what I envision being Caila is like. Men flock to her perfection. Her level of confidence commands this caliber of attention—from this caliber of a god.
“The female version isn’t quite as high-tech, so I’m forced to opt for the real thing.” He winces as if embarrassed to have gone there. “Not that I’ve gone that route. I guess guys just need the real deal because you’re too hard to replicate.”
“Nice save. And you’re right. That must be why you men whore around so darn much.” I cock my head to the side, unleashing my inner Caila for a moment. Who am I kidding? Caila would have hauled him off to the back and had him twice by now.
He gives a wistful look around the bar. “I’d like to whore around a whole lot less. If I keep up my current pace, my parts are in danger of falling off, if you know what I mean.”
“That’s why you should whore around with just one person—you know, to keep things safe and sane. I’d hate to see you saying goodbye to any of your boy parts. It’s always nice for a girl to have a complete trio to play with.” Gah! Did I just really go there? With Piper’s brother no less? If Piper ever finds out I’m speaking to her big bro with such nauseating intent, she might be prone to render me speechless by way of a pillow over my face in the night.
“Good point.” He tips his beer my way. “And my trio demands to stay together.” He looks pained at the thought of anything contradictory happening.
“I hear ya. Too bad there’s not a way to have a little fun on the side while separating the sheep from the goats.” I give a wistful look myself to the crowd. “You know, like a service that provided something just this side of platonic that doesn’t get too complicated—a steady Eddie that’s simply there to rev the engine once in a while.” Back in high school, my boyfriend thought it would be a great idea to have a little fun on the side without telling me. Just the memory enrages me. “No cheating, though!” I shout up over the music. “You know.” I down the rest of my frozen concoction in three long drags and feel the icy burn all the way to my stomach.
“I get it.” He leans in with that smoldering look in his eyes, and my bones melt with lust for this boy. “Someone to warm your bed while the hunt ensues.”