Conviction (Consolation Duet #2)(6)

A few days that I can’t go to Liam.

Time to get your shit together.

Aarabelle smiles when I get her from her car seat. I walk slowly with her to the deck where Aaron is standing with his back to me.

He turns slowly and casts his eyes on Aarabelle for the first time. I hold her close as she looks around. Aaron takes a slow step forward and smiles. “She’s beautiful.”

Words fail me, so I nod.

“She looks just like you, Lee.” Aaron’s eyes swim with love as he stares at my—our—daughter.

“I always thought she looked like you,” I say looking at her while she smiles at me.

“Can I?” he asks, his arms extended.

I shouldn’t pull her back, but I do. I can’t stop the fear that festers. He’s her father, he wanted her, and he will love her, I know all of this. But she’s only ever been mine. It makes me harsh and selfish, but I don’t really care. She’s my daughter. I’ve been through it all with her. Well, me and Liam. He’s practically been a parent to her, and I feel as if I’m betraying him. Which is insane.

“Lee,” my name rolls off his tongue.

Tears pool and one lone bead of moisture escapes. It slowly descends down my face before landing on my lip. “I j-just . . .” I stutter. My hands grip Aarabelle as she squirms to get free. Aaron moves closer, keeping his eyes trained on her as if he can’t look away.

This was the culmination of years of heartbreak. Years of both of us feeling inadequate and alone together. She’s the beauty in all the heartache. She’s the prize from all the desperation we endured. And she’s his. Not Liam’s.

No matter where Aaron and I land, Aarabelle is the glue that will hold our lives together. Forever we will be tied to each other. I slowly extend her, and his arms meet me halfway. Our hands touch as his eyes fill with tears.

“Hi, Aarabelle,” he says adoringly to Aara. The way he looks at her, like she’s the air he breathes, makes my chest tighten.

The arms I’d wished would wrap around her, protect her, love her are now holding her. She looks at Aaron with her signature smile. My body goes stiff as it all settles around us.

Aaron somehow lived and is home.

He’s holding our baby.

“God, she couldn’t be any more perfect,” he laughs and looks at me.

I sniff and try to rein myself in. “Yeah, she really is perfect.”

“You look just like your mommy.” He bounces her and wipes his eyes. “I dreamt of you. I wondered if you were okay,” Aaron talks to Aarabelle, and I have to take a few steps back.

Father and daughter are united.

“What’s her birthday?” he asks.

“August ninth.” She looks at me, and I walk over to them. I place my hand on her back while she touches his face.

Aaron just stares at her. Aarabelle squirms again and begins to fuss.

“She’s almost one. She just wants to move around,” I explain, reaching for her. “Do you want to go for a walk? She loves the beach.” I offer the olive branch to him. The confliction on how to handle this entire thing is too great to make things any harder.

His eyes soften, and he nods. “That would be great.”

I lean down, place Aara on the chair, and then remove her shoes. “You’ll need to hold her other hand. She’s a little unsteady.”

Aaron holds his hand out to her, and she wraps her fingers around his. With me on the other side, we begin to head toward the water. Mother, father, and daughter. It’s a picture perfect vision of how our lives could’ve been. My thoughts wander to the man who’s been at my side the last year. How would he feel about this?

“Lee?” Aaron asks as we walk along the water line, breaking me from my reflections.

“Yes?”

“I really do love you.” Aaron’s voice doesn’t waver.

“Mama!” Aara yells demanding my attention. I’m grateful for the distraction, because I don’t know how to respond. Do I love him? I’ll always love him. But because of Liam, my life this last year has been different.

“She’s getting hungry.”

“Okay,” Aaron says then looks away. “I should probably lie down. I’m exhausted.”

We start to walk back to our home, but I don’t speak. The silence says everything.

After I get Aarabelle to bed, and Aaron hovers watching everything I do, we both head toward the living room. It’s the first time we’re completely alone. I don’t know how I’m going to last days without talking about all the crap between us.

He sits on the couch, but he’s not relaxed. The muscles in his arms are coiled tight. His head rests on the back of the seat, but everything in his body shows his distress.

“Aaron? Are you okay?”

Immediately his eyes fly open. “Hey,” his voice is like ice. “I’m fine. Just got lost for a moment.”

I’m a fairly empathetic person, but how to navigate this is beyond my understanding. I have no idea what it’s like to be held captive. I don’t know how someone can endure that and resume their old life. Especially one that everyone has spent the last year moving on from, so that it doesn’t even exist anymore. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Aaron shakes his head. “I can’t yet. I’m trying to figure out a way to make it through this. I came home to a world I don’t have a place in. I lost you, my house, my life.”