Consolation (Consolation Duet #1)(6)

Everyone always offers to help. That’s the thing I’ve learned the most about death. People come out of the woodwork offering a hand. They cook for you, clean your home, fix the broken shutter, but it’s all superficial. No one knows what to say, so they try to do, but after a week or a few months, the help no longer comes. You have no choice but to face life head-on and learn that people forget—they move on. But I haven’t. I live the hell that was forced upon me day in and day out.

“I’m fine.” I give a fake smile. “I have Mark and Jackson if I need them, plus I’m sure you have plenty of other things you need to worry about. You just moved and I know checking in takes a lot of time.”

“I took leave, plus I like bugging you anyway.”

“Really, I can handle it.”

“No one is saying you can’t. I’m saying you don’t have to. Lean on the people around you. He was my friend and you are too, so don’t be too proud.” His eyes pierce mine as he locks his gaze.

What is with these men and their inability to let me be?

“Okay, fine,” I concede.

“Good. Not like you had much of a choice. I’m kinda relentless.”

I snort, “I remember.”

An awkward silence falls between us. Thankfully, Aarabelle stirs, bringing my attention to her.

“Have you heard from Patti?” Liam asks.

“No, she’s pretty much disappeared since Aaron’s death.” My mother-in-law understandably didn’t take the news well. She’s cut off contact with all of us. She refuses to see Aarabelle and wants absolutely no part in my life. She claims if I loved him, I wouldn’t have let him go. I would’ve demanded he stay. If she knew her son at all, she’d know that wouldn’t have worked.

Liam takes a step toward the mantel and his hand reaches out to the flag. He stands there staring at my mini memorial. Aaron’s photos line the shelf. His boot camp photo, our wedding, and one of the two of them all sit next to the flag. His trident sits in front. Liam’s hands brace the stone wall and his head falls. I watch him as his fingers tighten and turn white from clutching the ledge. It’s as if he’s forgotten I’m here. Tears threaten to fill my eyes as I watch his closest friend silently mourn. It’s a moment where I can almost feel the pain radiating off of him. I turn my back and give him some privacy.

“People handle shit differently I guess,” Liam mutters quietly.

I turn back around as he grips his neck. “How are you handling it?” I question.

He turns and shakes his head. “I’ve called his number a few times. I was drunk, and I don’t know, it was just instinct to call and tell him something stupid. The first time it went to his voicemail and . . .” Liam’s eyes snap back to mine as he catches himself. “What about you?”

My fa?ade shifts into place as I repeat the speech I’ve given so many times. “I’m living. It’s hard, but I’m handling it.”

Liam knows me. He’s also an interrogator for the SEALs. He’s one of the best, and for some reason I forgot who I was lying to. “Really?” he asks unbelieving.

His large frame moves forward as he assesses my reactions. I try to remember all the things Aaron practiced on me. How he would make me stand my ground, not shift or move my eyes, but Liam is a different ball game. “Yes,” I say confidently.

“You know who I am, right?” His calloused hand grazes my wrist and my heart rate accelerates. I’m not afraid of him, but he’s the first man to touch me intimately since Aaron’s death. Even though we’re just friends, my chest tightens. “You’re lying to me,” Liam says in his deep voice.

I suppress a shiver and try not to look into his eyes. I don’t want him to see what I’m hiding deep inside. He can read me, he’s trained to see through my layers of bullshit, and I need to keep myself shielded from him.

“Natalie.” He lifts my chin, but I keep my eyes closed. “You can tell me. I can’t imagine if it were you that he lost that he’d be fine. He’d be a f*cking mess, a lunatic with broken furniture all over the house. So you don’t have to be okay. You can be angry or whatever else.”

His words seep through my soul and I open my eyes. “I don’t get to be whatever else. I have Aarabelle,” I say as I look at the baby in my arms. “I have to be fine.” The steel wall I hide behind is strong and solid. I’m safe there.

“That’s not true. You’re going to keep bottling this shit up and then explode.”

I grit my teeth and let out a deep breath through my nose. “What’s your deployment schedule look like? Will you be around?” There’s no doubt in my mind he knows I’m diverting. I want out of this conversation.

“You know I can’t tell you that, but I’m here for you. I’m going to do a few things and then we can figure out what else has to be done.”

“I really don’t need the help,” I say even though I don’t know what I need anymore. Aarabelle stirs and I rock her gently.

“Okay, well, I need to do something for the next month I’m on leave, so you’re helping me.”

“Now who’s the liar?” I ask.

Liam rolls his sleeves and winks. “I never lie.”

I laugh an honest laugh for the first time. He’s lying about lying. Aarabelle begins to fuss, and as much as I want to argue with him, she needs to eat.